Title: Physical Reaction
Author: Shelley
Pairing: Giles/Ben
Rating: R
Summary: Double Drabble. Giles wishes he was more skilled at lying to himself.
Disclaimer: Very much not mine.

It is a purely physical reaction. That’s all. He’s sitting on another human being, one that’s wiggling to boot; of *course* his body is going to react to it. There is absolutely no part of his brain that’s engaged in his actions at the moment, no part of his psyche that’s turned on by what he’s doing.

Choking, smothering, killing.

No, this doesn’t excite him at all.

Giles blocks out memories of a snuff film that he walked out of in his twenties, because he liked it a little too much. He refuses to think about the night he killed Randall and the stranger he fucked into the mattress afterwards. He won’t admit to himself that as soon as this battle was done he’s going to go find a whore and work off this sexual energy.

Life and death, in his hands alone.

Because killing Ben isn’t arousing him. Not at all. His erection is the result of his physical proximity to an attractive young man, nothing more. That and Ben’s insistence on squirming, (on staying alive) are responsible for his condition. All outside his control.

Power, domination, murder.

No, those things do nothing for him.

It’s a purely physical reaction.

END