Title: The Assistant, part 57
Author: Sweetdoggie (stirling_summer@yahoo.com)
Pairing: B/G
Rating: R
Summary: Merrick didn’t die. AU
Spoilers: season 4
Disclaimer: No permission has been granted to use the characters.. They are owned by their creator, Joss Whedon, Twentieth Century Fox, UPN, WB, and Mutant Enemy. This story is non-profit and is intended solely as entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.
Ethan had never seen Faith before so she was able to get close enough to him to grab him. He had no idea that there was another Slayer, let alone two more, and was caught completely off guard. She manhandled him into the waiting car, carefully taping his mouth closed and his hands behind his back.
He didn’t recognize Wesley either, but knew his type. The younger man might as well have had a sign taped to his back that said ‘Watcher.’ They got back to the house and hustled him inside. He smiled to see Giles sitting there sipping tea from a large measuring cup.
“Turn me back, Ethan!”
Buffy stepped up to the Chaos sorcerer and ripped the duct tape off his mouth.
“Ow! You bloody bint, that hurt!”
“Not half as much as what I’m going to do next!” Buffy threatened. “You get one shot to turn my husband back into his normal self. After that, I start breaking things.”
“Oh, I’m so deeply afraid of a big, fat pregnant Slayer.” He sneered at her.
She reached out and slapped him. “Go ahead and insult me some more. I love hurting you.”
“Rupert! Are you going to let this gravid cow slap me around?”
“Yes, I rather think I am. And please don’t insult my wife, Ethan. It makes her very cranky.”
“Why should I help you turn yourself back into a doddering old man? Admit it, Ripper. You feel alive for the first time in years.”
Wesley strolled over and stood by Giles’ side. “Do you feel a sneeze coming on, perhaps, Rupert?”
The huge demon looked down at the much smaller Watcher. “Why, now that you mention it, I believe my allergies might be kicking in.” He put his finger under his nose as if to stop a sneeze.
Ethan looked alarmed. “C’mon mate. You wouldn’t do that to your old friend, now would you?”
Ripper smiled and it was made even more effective by the demonic visage he now wore. “Turn me back and we won’t have to kill you.”
“We’ve been friends since we were boys, Ripper. I just did this to show you how petrified you’ve become.”
Faith stepped forward. “Hey, Buffy? If we each took an arm, do you think we could make a wish?”
“Just like splitting a wishbone at Thanksgiving,” Buffy replied, satisfaction echoing in her tone.
“And that’s another thing,” Ethan complained. “How come you suddenly have a spare Slayer on hand?”
“That’s none of your business, Ethan. Just do the spell.”
“Will you let me go if I do?”
Giles tipped his head sideways. “Perhaps.”
Ethan closed his eyes. “It will wear off by itself in twenty-four hours.”
Giles nodded.
Buffy stepped forward and reapplied the duct tape to the sorcerer’s mouth. She pushed him onto the couch. “You won’t mind waiting, then, I’m sure.”
Ethan’s eyes flared with hatred for the tiny woman. He blamed all Rupert’s problems on her. If he hadn’t become her Watcher, he wouldn’t be the hidebound old bookworm he had turned into. If it wasn’t for her being pregnant, his friend Ripper would feel free to leave this boring existence. How bloody long did Slayers live, anyway? And now there were two. What did that mean?
Everyone sat in the living room till Ethan started squirming around. This time Giles pulled the tape off his mouth. “What?”
“I have to use the facilities.”
Faith got up and wandered outside without speaking. Wesley assumed that she was bored. He was, after all.
Giles picked up Ethan by the scruff of his neck and cut the tape off his hands. “The toilet is that way,” he said, indicating direction with the toss of a horn.
The former librarian stood outside the bathroom door, waiting for the mage to do his business and come out. Instead, he heard the window open. He tried the door but it was locked. He tore out of the hallway into the living room.
“He’s escaped out the window!”
Buffy and Wesley jumped up to go after him, but Faith came into the room pushing the sorcerer in front of her. Buffy grabbed him and her rage showed in her eyes. She picked him up and shook him like a terrier shakes a rat before throwing him back to the couch. “One move, just one and I’ll break your leg. Are we clear?”
He didn’t even nod. “Yes. Quite clear.” He was suddenly terrified. This tiny girl would break his legs with her bare hands and not even blink. He was suddenly rethinking the wisdom of his actions.
Wesley and Willow went into the kitchen and prepared a quick meal for everyone. They fed Ethan but only because Giles made them. The day passed very slowly, but nobody suggested any activities to distract them. Buffy mostly sat and watched Ethan clearly hoping he’d make a break for it..
Suddenly, Willow sat up. “What are we going to do with him after the spell reverses?”
Buffy and Faith looked at each other. “Kill him?” Buffy said hopefully.
Ethan looked even more concerned at the enthusiasm in her voice. He cast a quick look at Ripper. The demon was sitting there looking thoughtful. “No, I don’t think that will be necessary. Buffy, love, bring me my journal, won’t you?”
She handed him the book. He thumbed through it till he found the card with Riley’s phone number on it. “Why don’t you give him a ring?”
She took the card and smiled. “Good idea. I’m sure Riley and his friends would just love to have a genuine magic user to dissect.” She placed the call and hung up the phone. “He’s sending somebody. They’ll be here before morning.”
In fact, the Initiative soldiers arrived twenty minutes after Giles reverted to human form. They packed Ethan up and shoved him into the back of a Hummer.
Buffy and Giles stood side by side as the car rolled away down the street.
“Where will they take him?” Buffy wondered.
“Hard to say. I doubt he will be able to escape, however.”
“Good. He never did get all the payback I had in mind for the band candy incident, let alone this demon caper.”
“Well, to be entirely fair, he really didn’t mean to hurt me this time. He just wanted me back the way I was as a lad.”
“He so needs to grow up. Doesn’t he realize that you aren’t that guy any more? No more than I’m the girl who wanted to be an Olympic ice skater. People change. Move on and let it go.”
“He thought I was turning into an old man.”
“So what?”
“Am I?”
“Do you think you are?” she countered. “What I think doesn’t matter. It’s your view of yourself that makes you old or young, not how many birthdays you have.”
“Do you think that I seem old?”
“Giles, get over the age thing. You are how old you are and whether you wear a leather jacket and an earring or a tweed coat with elbow patches doesn’t make you any older or younger. How many guys could fight like you do, could kill as many vamps as you have, could train with a Slayer and survive?”
“But someday I will be too old to do those things.”
“Merrick has twenty-plus years on you, honey. He isn’t too old and he’s only got one lung and, I may point out, a brand new baby son.”
That seemed to cheer him up. “That’s true. He isn’t too old.”
“And neither are you.”
“And neither am I,” he repeated confidently.