Title: Better Wed than Dead
Author: Sweetdoggie
Pairing: B/G
Rating: R
Summary: The obligatory INS, Green card marriage.
Note: I wrote this before Spike began making me ill so he comes off pretty well.
Disclaimer: No permission has been granted to use the characters. They are owned by their creator, Joss Whedon, Twentieth Century Fox, UPN, WB, and Mutant Enemy. This story is non-profit and is intended solely as entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.

Willow knocked at the apartment door. She was surprised when it didn’t open immediately. She knocked again, a bit harder. The door finally opened and a very frowsty looking Giles appeared in its place. His hair was sticking straight up and he looked as if he hadn’t slept in several days. He certainly hadn’t shaved. Leaning closer, she thought he probably hadn’t bathed either. He was definitely gamy.

“Geez, Giles. Are you OK? You look awful!” Willow was instantly concerned. “Do you have the flu or something? Can I get you some water or aspirin?"

The tired man rubbed his bloodshot eyes and looked at her blearily. “I’m fine, Willow. Just very tired. Did you need something?”

“I just came to invite you to dinner with the rest of the gang. We were going to celebrate Buffy getting an A on her paper.” Willow still looked deeply concerned.

“Thank you for the thought, Willow, but I’m afraid I’ll have to take a rain check on that. Something has come up that requires all my attention right now.”

“What is it Giles? A demon, master vampire, something Hellmouthy?”

“None of those things, I’m afraid. Several days ago, I was contacted by the INS. They are considering deporting me as an undesirable alien.” He still looked shell-shocked.

“B, but you have a flourishing business that brings money into the community. You have a respectable resume and could get a job at any museum in the country. How could they think you were undesirable?”

“I’m not sure, but I suspect Council interference. They certainly have no reason to think of me fondly and they would kill to get their hands on Buffy again.”

“Well, let me call the gang and we can brain storm what to do, OK? Um, in the mean time, why don’t you run upstairs and have a nice shower.” She smiled gently at the grubby man.

“Hmmm. Oh, right you are. I seem to have let myself go a bit whilst mulling over this development.” He closed the door behind the girl and walked upstairs to get cleaned up.

Willow made her calls and the gang showed up in less than twenty minutes. Buffy was the first through the door. “What do you mean, Willow? How can the INS get rid of my Watcher?”

Willow explained as best she could and Buffy was outraged. “Well, they’re not getting away with this! That damned Council! I have half a mind to go to England and kick their fussy butts till they have to put a pillow under their heads to sit down.”

Willow didn’t quite get the reference, but figured it sounded pretty bad. Luckily, a shaved and showered Giles came downstairs at that point. Buffy ran to him and gave him a huge hug. “No way, Giles! They are not getting rid of you.”

He smiled down at her sweetly. Gods, how he loved this charming girl. He knew he was too old for her and that she could never reciprocate his feelings, but it was obvious that she cared for him on some level at least. It made him feel good. He patted her shoulder awkwardly. “No, they won’t, but we will have to do some rather fancy footwork to keep me here.”

“I think I have found a fool-proof way of doing that, Giles.” Willow explained quickly. “They won’t be able to deport you if you are married to an American citizen.”

The Scoobies looked stunned. Giles would have to marry? But who? Xander spoke. “Do you know any women who would marry you, G-man?”

Giles shook his head. “Basically the only females I am acquainted with are the girls and Joyce.”

Buffy vetoed her mother before anybody could speak. “Mom hates him. There’s no way she would help him stay in the country.”

Anya, Willow, Tara, and Buffy looked at each other. Finally, Buffy stood. “Well, you guys are already paired up with somebody, so it looks like it’s going to be me.” She turned to her Watcher. “You game?”

He blushed at the thought of actually marrying the woman he had loved since she was sixteen. “Uh, maybe there’s an alternative solution that we simply haven’t thought of yet?”

Willow shook her head. “This is fool-proof. All the others could be got around if somebody pushed hard enough. And I get the feeling that the Council wouldn’t have any qualms about pushing.”

Giles grimaced. “No, you are quite right.” He looked at Buffy. “It wouldn’t have to be forever, but it would have to look real. You would have to live with me, sleep with me, um, get to know me very well indeed.” He blushed. “We, we wouldn’t, of course, have to have, uh, sexual relations, but we would have to give the appearance of doing so. I’m afraid you wouldn’t be able to date other men, or I other women.” He looked down at his feet to hide his eyes. As if he could work up any interest in another female when his Buffy was near!

Buffy shrugged. “You mean the world to me, Giles. I already spend most of my time with you, I sleep over here, three nights out of five, and I learned to drink tea for you. After that, marriage should be a piece of cake.” She grinned. “I guess we’re going to have to get used to PDA’s, though.”

“PDA’s?”

“Yeah, Public Displays of Affection. Kissing and hugging and stuff like that.” Buffy blushed at the thought of doing a lip-lock with Giles. Still, now that the idea had been planted, he was kinda cute.

“Oh, uh, quite.” He was so red; he looked like he might explode at any moment.

The Scoobies looked at each other before Willow spoke up. “We need a plan of action, then. How do you guys feel about Vegas? We can get cheap round trip tickets and be there in a couple of hours.” Willow opened up the laptop she carried with her for research. In seconds, she had found a discount flight that could take all of them, plus Buffy’s mom for a very reasonable sum. She made the reservations. Next, she researched wedding chapels. There were dozens, several offered reservations via e-mail. She liked the look of one of their websites and so, set up an appointment two hours after they were due to arrive in town.

Anya looked at Buffy. “You need a decent dress. I think we should all head over to the mall and do some shopping.” Buffy nodded.

“Uhm, could you guys give Giles and me a couple of minutes?” The troops filed out of the apartment. Buffy looked at her fiancé. “I think we had better, uh, try kissing each other. This has got to look and feel natural and if you feel as awkward as I do, we’re going to have to practice.”

He nodded, gulped and took a step towards her. She approached him and looked up into his eyes. “Why is this so hard? It’s not like we’re strangers or that we don’t care about each other.”

He cleared his throat. “Perhaps that is precisely the problem. We aren’t strangers and we do care deeply about the other person. I know I don’t want to risk losing our friendship.”

“Yeah, me too. It’s not that I don’t love you, because I do. But I haven’t given a lot of thought to a romantic sort of thing with you.” Buffy explained.

He perked up. “But you have given some thought to it? In the past, I mean?”

Buffy flushed again. “Well, yeah, some, I guess. After you rescued me from Amy’s mom…well, I had thoughts. Plus, um, I’ve had some dreams, uh, over the years. It’s probably nothing; I mean we train with each other all the time. I‘m sure it‘s natural and besides, it’s not like I couldn’t see what a great guy you are. Smart, kind, caring, handsome, geez, what girl wouldn’t be impressed?”

He looked down and then up at her again, a strange gleam in his eyes. “I thought I was very old, wore too much tweed, etc.?”

“Well, you are older than me and when somebody’s sixteen, thirty-nine seems impossible.” She smiled fondly. “And don’t diss the tweed. Some of the happiest memories I have in my life involve you in tweed.”

“How does forty-three seem to a twenty-year-old?” he asked with studied casualness.

“Just about right, I’d say.” She put a hand on his chest and leaned into him.

He bent down and cupped her head gently before pressing his lips against hers. What began as an exploratory gesture soon moved into astonished excitement and then passion. His tongue stroked her lips and she opened her mouth to let him in. They explored each other with wonder and surprise. When they finally broke the kiss, they grinned happily at each other.

“Whosh! I guess PDA’s aren’t going to be a problem.” Buffy was trembling.

Giles was ecstatic. His darling Buffy was finally beginning to see him as a man. Soon she would be his wife and then he could begin to properly court her till he had won her heart. “You know I would never, uhm, never take advantage of our relationship, Buffy, but do you, uh, do you think you might be, uhm, interested in d, dating after we get m, married?”

“You mean, have a romantic relationship for real?” She looked at him speculatively. “I’m not hating the idea. But I don’t want to rush into anything, if that’s OK with you.”

He chuckled. “It’s fine, love. We can take this slow for both our sakes.”

They walked toward the door and into the view of the waiting Scoobies. Giles put his arm around her shoulder and she snuggled against him tenderly. “Let’s shop!”

By the end of the evening, Giles and Xander had new suits, and the four girls had dresses. They passed a jewelry store and Giles looked at Buffy. “W, we need a set of rings, I think.” Buffy looked surprised. She hadn’t thought of that.

They went in while the Scoobies went to get food. Buffy pointed out that her job prevented her from wearing something that might interfere with her grip, so they looked at solid gold rings. She picked one that had an antique finish, carved in a baroque style. Giles liked it too and they bought the matching set. She didn’t want an engagement ring, so he bought her a pair of earrings that matched the wedding band. She gave him a gentle kiss that he returned till the shop clerk cleared her throat nervously.

They sprang apart, shamefaced. “Uh, sorry.” Buffy apologized.

The clerk giggled. “’S OK. It’s not everyday a girl picks out her wedding ring, after all.”

They left the shop, red-faced but happy and joined the others in the food court. Giles purchased Gyro’s and sodas and carried them to the pushed together tables where the group sat. They all ate with relish. Giles actually laughed at some of the jokes that Xander told and everyone was astonished at how relaxed the Watcher was.

Tara spoke up suddenly. “B, Buffy? How did your mom take the news?” Silence rang out from the table.

“Oh, my God! I haven’t told her yet. Oh, man. She’s going to kill me!” Buffy started to look panicked. Giles placed his hand over hers.

“Calm down, dear. We can handle Joyce together.” He spoke quietly, trying to soothe her.

“Not a good idea, Gi, uh, Rupert.” She crinkled her nose slightly as she called him by his first name. “She already thinks you’re a bad influence on me. I think that I should tell her and then, after I’ve hidden all the weapons, you can come in.”

He smiled. “I’m not afraid of your mother, love. I just don’t want this to damage your relationship with her.”

Buffy shrugged philosophically. “Since I would be dead ten times over without you, she’s just going to have to deal. We are a team till we die, Rupert. It’s just that now the team is going to get married.”

He picked up her hand and kissed it. The others gawked, but Buffy met his eyes with a shy smile. “Are we going to tell her the real reason for getting hitched?” Buffy grinned.

“She deserves the truth, I suppose.” Giles sighed. “Damn the Council!”

They all raised their cups of soda. “Damn the Council!” rang from six sets of lips. They burst out laughing at the spontaneous display. The men cleared the tables and pushed them back into place while the girls sorted through the packages.

The four Scoobies had decided to remain at the mall to buy some wedding gifts for the couple while Giles and Buffy went to her house for the dreaded ‘talk’ with her mother.

The small car pulled into her driveway and stopped. They looked at each other. “Have courage, my dear. She can’t eat you. Remember that you have faced down master vampires, demons, and plenty of other assorted nasties, your mum isn’t that bad.”

Buffy looked at him and rolled her eyes. “Giles, she still calls you ‘that man.’ I have a hunch this isn’t going to go totally smoothly.”

He kissed her gently on the forehead. “Let’s do this before you work yourself into a state.” They exited the car and entered her house.

“Mom? Are you home?” Buffy called out.

Joyce emerged from the kitchen, smiling. “Buffy! I was wondering where you were. Hello, Mr. Giles.”

“Hello, Joyce. Uhm, if Buffy and I could speak to you for a moment? We have some rather, uh, interesting news.” Giles gestured to the chair.

Joyce sat down wondering what was going on. Buffy looked nervous and Giles was acting oddly. “What’s going on?” she asked in a resigned voice.

Buffy looked at her Watcher. “Uh, mom. You know that Slayers and Watchers have a special bond. A Slayer doesn’t live very long if she is deprived of her Watcher. When I was eighteen, Giles lost his position on the Watcher’s Council and they have been trying to get rid of him ever since. They want me under their control. Without Faith, they have no active Slayer except me. In order to control me, they have to get rid of Giles. I can’t let them do that.”

Joyce nodded understandingly. “I’m guessing that the Council is trying some new tactic to get rid of Mr. Giles?”

Buffy smiled approvingly. “Yes. They are trying to get him deported as an undesirable alien. The gang researched the problem and there is only one sure way to prevent them from deporting him.”

Joyce sat up suddenly realizing where the conversation was heading. “He has to marry an American citizen, right?”

Buffy nodded, holding Giles hand tightly in hers. “We talked about this and we’re getting married in Vegas tomorrow. Can you come?”

Joyce put her hand against her forehead. “Buffy, he’s too old for you. No offense meant, Mr. Giles, but you are only a year younger than her father is. Buffy should be dating boys her own age, going to dances, having fun. She’s too young to get married.”

“Mom, we didn’t come to debate this. There is no choice. You can have a married daughter or a dead one. I wouldn’t last a week without Giles.”

“But what about dating? What about love? I know you have had lovers, Buffy, are you going to remain celibate till Mr. Giles gets his green card? You aren’t going to have sex with each other, are you?” She was wigged.

They blushed. “It’s not out of the realm of possibility, mom. We haven’t been romantic with each other because I was too young, but we’re going to be married and you know Slayers don’t live to be old. I could be married to Giles for what might be the rest of my life, so we’re leaving the door open on that.”

Giles was beet-red. “I would never take advantage of Buffy, Joyce. It will be her decision entirely.”

“You don’t seem opposed to the idea, though?” Joyce questioned him.

“Er, I’m not opposed. Buffy is my life. I will give her whatever is in my power to give. If she never wants that sort of relationship with me, I can live with that. But should she choose to consummate our marriage, I will be a very happy man.” He didn’t make eye contact with either woman.

Joyce threw up her hands. “OK, count me in. I can see there is no talking you guys out of this. Argggh! I hate the Council! When’s the flight?”

They discussed plans till late that evening. Giles finally got up to go. He held Buffy’s hands in his as he stood in front of her. Joyce went to the kitchen to give them some privacy. “Did you mean what you said about, c, consummating our marriage?” Buffy asked shyly.

“Oh, yes. No doubt I am a foolish old man, but I do care deeply for you, Buffy. You are what I live for. I have spent my life preparing myself to be worthy of you. Should you choose to grace me with your self, I would be the happiest man on earth.” He gently drew her into his arms and kissed her.

‘Oh, boy!’ thought Buffy. ‘Can this guy dish out the romance or what? How am I gonna resist this for more than five minutes after we get married?’ She returned his kiss then pushed him carefully away. “Go home and get some sleep, sweetie. Mom and I will swing by at seven to pick you up. We drive to LA and catch the eleven o’clock flight to Vegas.” She rubbed her arms self-consciously. “By this time tomorrow, we’ll be married.”

He smiled and hugged her tightly before heading out to his car. Buffy watched him go with mixed feelings. She was tremendously excited, but she was also nervous. Did she want to have sex with Giles? She had thought of it, off and on over the years, but never seriously considered making any move on him. If they did it, he would see her naked! Oh, my God! If they did it, she would see him naked too. That idea was not as eeeeuw-provoking as it could have been, she noticed. Giles naked was sort of…yummy. She knew he was fit because he worked out with her on a regular basis. His butt was nice, she knew, because she had checked it out plenty during their training sessions.

She walked back into the house and went to her room to pack. She went to her drawers and pulled out every piece of sexy underwear she owned. Smiling, she decided that she would bring him to his knees before he won her. That sounded fair. Some nice dresses followed and inside half an hour she was packed.

Her mother knocked on her bedroom door. “Buffy? Oh, good. You’re still up.” She held out a small jewelry box. “This belonged to your grandmother. She gave it to me on the night before my wedding to your father. I’m giving it to you.”

Buffy took the box and opened it carefully. It was a bracelet set with tiny diamonds, rubies and, sapphires. It was gorgeous. “Oh, mom! Thank you so much!” She hugged the older woman. “And thank you for accepting Giles and me. It means a lot. I know it’s hard for you.”

Joyce waved her hand. “Not as hard as you might think, sweetie. Giles is a good man and if he were fifteen years younger, I’d be jumping for joy. As it is, I do understand why you need to marry him.” She grinned. “He’s cute, too.”

Buffy laughed. “He is, isn’t he?”

“Are you, uh, covered for birth control?” Joyce asked awkwardly.

“Oh, yeah. When I started dating Riley, I knew I couldn’t take any chances so I got one of those 5 year implant things.” She showed her mom the five little match-stick-like welts under her upper arm. “This way, I don’t have to worry about taking the pill or remembering a condom, plus things are nicely regulated.”

Joyce sighed with relief. “So, if you guys do decide to, uh, do it, you’re safe.” She looked up quizzically. “Have you given any thought to kids? Do you know if Giles would like to be a father?”

Buffy blushed. “I don’t know. I mean, we just decided this today. We have time. I guess with Giles here to be my Watcher, I probably won’t get killed right away. So maybe we could work things out after a while.” She got a faraway look in her eyes. “I think Giles would make a wonderful dad. He’s such a good, caring man. He’s kind, thoughtful, smart, brave, and a fierce fighter. Any kid we had would be tremendously lucky to have him for a parent. Maybe I’ll talk to him about this, later.” She grinned. “It would be funny to watch him stutter and blush. He’s so cute when he does that!”

The two women laughed and said goodnight.

Buffy’s alarm went off at five the next morning. She crawled from her bed, and stumbled into the shower. Fifteen minutes later she was washed, brushed and dressed. She made her bed and bopped down to the kitchen to start some coffee. Joyce came in a few minutes later looking worse for wear. She too was dressed but looked like she hadn’t gotten much sleep. They ate a light breakfast, loaded the bags into the car and headed out to Giles’ apartment.

He greeted them at the door, feeling very subdued. He had been too excited to sleep so he had bags under his eyes almost as large as the luggage he toted to the jeep. He crawled in back and immediately fell asleep. The two women met each other’s eyes and grinned. Two hours later, they pulled into the LA airport. As they neared their departure gate, they saw Willow, Xander, Tara and Anya waiting for them. Greetings were exchanged and they settled down to wait for boarding.

The flight itself was fairly short, but by the time they landed everybody was hungry. They drove to the hotel where Willow had arranged four room reservations and got ready for the ceremony. Buffy and Giles practically had to be propped up at the door of the Chapel. They entered, filled out the paperwork in a daze, said their vows, exchanged rings and kissed each other, hardly understanding that they were now man and wife.

The others ushered them out of the Chapel and into a nearby restaurant for a late lunch. Buffy and Giles sat next to each other and kept looking at each other surreptitiously. When their eyes met, they smiled shyly. The others rolled their eyes and snickered behind their hands. This was just so cute! Who would believe that Buffy and Giles would be gazing at each other with such moony looks? The Scoobies decided that a little gambling might be in order and since they all had fake I.D’s proving they were twenty-one, Joyce had no objections. They went off to spend some money. Buffy and Giles decided to go to their room to get to know each other better. The others snickered and bid them good-bye.

Giles thought the entire situation was hideously awkward. He had never felt this shy around a woman in his entire life. “Uh, s, so, uh, here we are.”

Buffy looked at her feet. “Yes, we sure are.” She sat down at the table and studiously avoided looking at the bed. Rummaging around in her purse, she pulled out the list of questions that Willow had gotten from the WEB. She indicated the other chair and Giles sat down.

“OK, I guess we need to go over this stuff,” she said glumly.

“Where was your spouse born?” she read, looking up at him. “I was born in LA.” She waited for his response.

“I, I was born in Bath. My family had a small estate there.”

“Cool. Do you guys still have the place?”

“No. When I found out that I was coming to the U.S., I sold it. It was entirely too much trouble to keep up and the taxes were frightful."

They proceeded down the list of questions finding out things like favorite colors, foods, movies, hobbies, how they met, where they first kissed and other questions that proved how much or how little they knew about the other person. Surprisingly, they found out that they knew quite a bit about each other. Giles, of course, knew much more about Buffy than she did about him, simply by virtue of being her Watcher for so many years, but he was amazed at the tiny details of his life that she had noticed.

They talked for hours and were feeling quite a bit more comfortable with each other by the time the gang came back from their gambling extravaganza. Willow and Tara had won several hundred dollars, Xander had lost ten and given up, Anya had won over a thousand. Joyce had concentrated on slots and broke even. Everybody had a good time. When they knocked on the newlywed’s door, they were all wondering what had gone on in their absence.

Before Buffy let him answer the door she called him over to her, grinning slyly. “I have an idea that will drive them up the wall,” she chortled. She pulled him closer to her and smeared a bit of her lipstick against the corner of his mouth. Next, she ruffled up his hair and pulled one shirt tail out of his pants. She unbuttoned the shirt and did up two of the buttons in the wrong holes. He laughed as he got the idea, bent over her and rubbed his whiskery face against her soft cheeks till she had a definite whisker burn. He ran his fingers through her hair and undid two of the buttons on her dress. They both removed their shoes and socks. Then Giles answered the door. Buffy looked around and saw the bed was still unrumpled. She rolled around on it like a mad woman. Giles was grinning hugely when he finally got the door open.

“Oh!” he said, pretending surprise. “Is it time for dinner already?” He blocked the opening of the door with his body, carefully showing his rumpled state to their friends. He called to his wife over his shoulder. “Um, Buffy, would you like to go out for dinner?”

“Sure, honey! Just give me a minute to get dressed,” came the sultry response.

The Scoobies were flabbergasted. They had all assumed that the shy couple would spend hours stuttering at each other, blushing and otherwise doing cute but nerdy things. Now it looked as if they had interrupted a make-out session. To say they were shocked would be an understatement. “We’ll be out in a few moments. Uh, if you would excuse us, we need to freshen up.” He backed into the room and closed the door in their faces.

He and Buffy collapsed into each other’s arms, laughing like hyenas. They actually had tears running down their faces as they reenacted the scene. They slowly got dressed again and Buffy wiped the lipstick off her husband with a grin. He picked her up, twirled her around and gave her a huge hug before setting her down on her feet.

Her face was red from laughter when she opened the door back up. “Hi guys. We’re ready.”

Willow tried to corner her by herself at the restaurant. “Buffy! Did you carpe Giles?” Willow asked agog.

Buffy laughed but refused to say anything beyond the fact that her marriage was off to a great start. “Don’t fret, Willow. Things are certainly looking ‘up.’” Buffy laughed again.

Giles smiled at her as they were seated in a corner booth. They scooted to the center so that Willow, Tara and Joyce were on one side and Xander an Anya on the other. Giles put his arm around Buffy and snuggled her against him. They spent the next hour whispering things in each other’s ears and generally making the rest of the table uncomfortable with their giggles and looks.

Finally, Xander couldn’t stand it anymore. “Geez, will you two knock it off already! I’ve seen more mature behavior from, well, me!”

Buffy, looking deeply into Giles’ eyes, replied that they were newlyweds, for heaven’s sake and what did everybody expect? “You guys, all of you, kiss and make out in front of Giles and me all the time. Why is it different for us?”

“Because, because, you guys are supposed to be the responsible ones!” Xander answered.

Giles took Buffy’s hand and licked it across the back. There was a chorus of ‘eeeeuws’ from the rest of the table. By the end of the meal, they were feeding each other from their plates. Everyone was looking deeply revolted by this sad lack of decorum. When Buffy reverted to speaking baby-talk to Giles, the group decided that they had had enough and trooped as a unit to pay the bill. Giles and Buffy followed, still billing and cooing at each other.

Buffy looked up as the others made plans to see a show that evening. “Uh, I think we’ll go back to our room. We’ll see you guys for breakfast, OK?”

Giles stretched and yawned to great effect. “Uhm, yes. We all need to get a good night’s sleep tonight.”

Anya snorted. “Like any resting is going to be done in that room tonight!”

The others seconded her thought and the party broke up for the night.

When Giles and Buffy got back to their room, they fell on the bed and laughed so hard they couldn’t breathe. They both got stitches in their sides and moaned with pain but every time they made eye contact with the other, they would go off again. Finally, Buffy rolled away from her husband and sat up. “Oh, God! Did you see the expression on their faces when I called you my ‘wittle wuv muffin.’ I almost wet my pants!”

“How about when I pulled you onto my lap and fed you dessert? I thought they would have a massive coronary! Even Joyce looked ill.” He snorted with laughter. “Thank you, Buffy, for one of the best times of my life!”

“Hey, wuv muffin, it was my pleasure!” He grabbed her and kissed her soundly, grinning like a mad man all the while.

She kissed him back and the mood turned serious. He touched the bare skin of her thigh. She looked at him carefully as she put her hand against the open collar of his shirt and stroked the sturdy column of his throat.

“Can we do this?” she asked him.

“Oh, yes, my love. I think we can do it very well.”

Soon their clothing hit the floor and they began exploring each other in earnest. Buffy loved the feel of the hair on his chest. She ran her hands over his sensitive nipples and he moaned with joy. He suckled her breasts until she arched off the bed. “God!”

“Do you like that, dearest?” he panted.

“Yes, yes, yes,” she moaned against him.

She let her hand roam down the front of his body, following the path of his body hair. She liked the way it tapered into the stem of a ‘T’ on his tummy. Letting her tongue follow the path of her hands, she licked his navel, pushing her tongue into the sensitive core. His hips bucked in response. She lifted back enough to look at his erection. Hard as a rock, she was surprised at how large it looked. She tentatively licked the crown, swiping away the drop of fluid that had risen like dew at the tip. “Mmmm.” Slowly, she engulfed his engorged shaft, the thickness giving her some trouble. She pushed him into her throat as far back as she could go. He tasted of salt and musk and she sucked him hard, letting her teeth graze him slightly as she pulled back. When he was thrusting helplessly into her mouth, she released him with a soft pop of her lips. He moaned and tried to find her mouth again.

His hands swept down her sides as he rolled her over, nipping gently at her belly. He kissed and licked his way down her body to her groin. Easily spreading her legs, he lay between them, parting her intricate folds with his hands before beginning an experience that left her shaking. Again and again he brought her to a peak but wouldn’t let her go over. Finally, she looked at him, tears of passion in her eyes. “Now, damn it, Giles! Come in me now!”

Wasting no time, he crawled up her body and pushed himself into her tight opening. He was so large that she could barely take him, even with their preparatory work. “Unnnnh.” She moaned as he finally sank the last inch into her tight sheath. Giving her a second to adjust to his intrusion, he looked deeply into her eyes. “I love you, Buffy. I love you so very much!”

She moved her hips cautiously. “I love you too, Giles. I’m so glad this happened.”

They began and found a rhythm older than man. As their thrusts became shorter they became more rapid until Buffy clenched around him, actually milking his penis. He shot his sperm into her, filling her already wet channel with his essence. Both cried out at the moment of their completion.

He collapsed on top of her and carefully rolled to the side still deeply imbedded in her tight warmth. They both continued to feel the aftershocks of their stellar lovemaking for many minutes. Finally, Giles slipped out of her, his shaft still dripping as it rolled across her bare thigh. Buffy started to go to sleep, but their combined moisture oozed down her leg making her uncomfortable.

“Ooo, yik!” she muttered. “I’ve got to go clean up.” She tried to get out of the bed without getting everything wet.

“Giles! This isn’t working! I hate to ask, but I think you’d better get me a towel or something if we expect to sleep in this bed tonight.”

He chuckled and kissed her before getting up to find a warm washcloth and a towel. He cleaned himself up then brought the supplies to her and gently washed her clean. She blushed and looked away as he wiped her free of his semen.

Tipping her chin up, he asked her why she was shy. “I don’t know. This just seems so intimate.” She knew she sounded dumb. What could be more intimate than sex, after all?

“It is intimate. I love doing this for you. I want to do so much for you, Buffy. I want to love you so many different ways! We’ve just begun exploring each other. Tell me, did I please you?”

“Oh, yes, Rupert. I have never felt like that. There was such a connection! It was more than just bodies touching, wasn’t it?”

“I think we have a true bond between us. Sometimes when Watchers and Slayers become intimate, they are joined by a psychic connection. This grows until the two can find each other across oceans if necessary.”

“Wow. That’s kind of neat!” She suddenly yawned hugely. “Sorry! I haven’t slept much the past couple of nights.”

Her yawn was contagious. “I haven’t slept at all for the better part of a week. We should get some rest so we can embarrass the others some more tomorrow!” He giggled and pulled her into his arms. They drifted off and slept like logs the rest of the night.

The others let them sleep till nine, but finally roused them to eat breakfast. Their return flight was later that day and nobody wanted to fly hungry. Buffy and Giles were well rested, smiling and happy as they joined the others. Buffy sported a very red neck and cheeks, courtesy of Giles bristly chin. Giles made no effort to cover the love bites on his neck. The others saw and quickly looked away. Yikes! Nobody wanted the mental picture of Buffy and Giles having sex.

They ate breakfast in relative silence. The wedded couple held hands and dropped tiny kisses on each other at any excuse. They were so cute the others wanted to barf. Joyce finally looked over at them, covered her eyes and insisted that somebody else was sitting next to the two of them on the flight home.

“Hey! Not fair!” Willow said indignantly. “They’re your family!”

“Oh, God! It only needed that!” Joyce remarked as she dropped her head into her hands. “I am not calling that man, son!”

Buffy and Giles continued to ignore the rest of the group. But at this, Buffy looked at her mom. “I think you had better learn to call him Rupert or Giles like the rest of us do, mom. ‘That man’ is probably the kind of thing the INS is looking for to prove we aren’t really married.” She giggled. “Though I don’t know how they could prove that now, do you, Rupert?”

He looked at her with love in his gaze. “Haven’t the foggiest, my dear.”

Xander spoke up defending Joyce. “It might be better if she didn’t seem like she was totally on board with this, Buff. I think most parents would be a little wigged to find out their daughter was marrying somebody old enough to be their dad, especially since he was a teacher in her high school. If you don’t know the details, its kind of yuksome.” He held up his hands to fight off Buffy’s glare. “I’m not criticizing, Buffster. Just pointing out that’s how the facts might seem to an outsider.”

Buffy glared at him, but refrained from punching when Giles lightly touched her shoulder. “I believe that Xander is correct, sweetheart. I am old enough to be your father, and I was a librarian at your school. If the INS investigate at all, they will soon find out that you spent many unexplained hours in my company.” He shrugged. “It could look bad, I suppose.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Geez, Giles. Everybody in school thought we were already doing it!”

He looked outraged. “What!”

“You said it yourself, I spent many, many hours with you in the library. Sometimes Will and Xander or one of the others was around, but mostly it was just you and me. We were there nights, weekends, before and after school. We were seen in each other’s company night after night when we patrolled, people knew I showed up at your house after midnight lots of times. They would have been blind not to think we weren’t having an affair.”

“B, but, why didn’t you say something to me?” he stuttered. “I could have put a stop to any rumors.”

“Oh, yeah. That would have looked authentic. The boyfriend denies the affair. Everybody would have believed you, not!”

“Are you sure that they thought we were involved? How do you know?” He was still trying to get his mind around this fact.

“Well, aside from all the comments about ‘doing it’ in the library, I had lots of notes stuck in my locker, boys were always hitting on me, figuring that if I put out for an old guy, they were shoo-ins. Stuff like that.” She shrugged. “No big.”

“N, n, no big!” He was furious on her behalf. “It’s a very big! If I had any of those young louts in front of me now, I’d show them a thing or two about how to treat ladies. Can you ever forgive me for putting you through all that, my heart?”

She patted his hand. “I didn’t care about that, Giles. Well, the ones that implied that I was having a three-some with you and Wes were kind of yucky, but after a while you just let it wash over you. I had plenty of other things to worry about, anyway.”

“They thought you and I and Wesley were…Oh my God! Talk about eeeeuw!” He shuddered.

The group laughed. Buffy kissed his cheek and told him to forget it. If the INS thought they were having a long-term relationship that was their problem. He settled down, but was clearly unhappy about the whole situation.

They returned to their rooms to pack and Giles brought the subject up again. “Please, Buffy. I am truly horrified by this situation. That people would ever think I would betray my position, destroy the trust you children placed in me; it makes me ill.”

Buffy took his face between her hands. “It’s over, honey. Let it go. Its just one bad memory in several hundred from that time and frankly, it doesn’t even come close to being the worst!”

He hugged her for many minutes. She stroked his back comfortingly. “Giles, everybody who really knew and loved you knows that you would never do anything like what was implied. Why worry about the opinions of people who were meaningless to us then and now? Even my mom, who is definitely not on your cheerleading squad knows better than that.”

He sighed in her arms. “Thank you, Buffy. You help put this in perspective for me. You are quite right. I have never lost the good opinion of those people who actually matter to me; you and the Scoobies. I hope I never do.”

She smiled softly. “Giles, I forgave you the Cruciamentum, I forgave you the Band Candy Incident, I forgave you for all the times when you ignored my opinions, I forgave you for drinking your troubles away, and I forgave you for letting Ethan turn you into a paralyzing snot demon. For heaven’s sake, I forgave you for making me drink hot tea! There is nothing you could do that would make me think you less of a hero."

“I love you, Buffy. I love, love, love you.” He hugged her tightly once more before letting her go.

The trip home was uneventful. The gang was deeply relieved when Buffy and Giles fell asleep on the flight. At least they would be spared any more cuddling and smooching. Even Anya, for whom things sexual were no big deal, was getting wigged. Joyce thought they should make a stop in LA to break the news of her marriage to Buffy’s dad.

Luckily, Hank Summers was away on a business trip and couldn’t be reached. They all breathed a sigh of relief and drove quite happily back to Sunnydale. Joyce made Buffy promise to call him later and simply wrote him off. He hadn’t been in their lives for years, that was the way he had wanted it, and now he was reaping the rewards of ignoring his daughter.

When they got back, Giles helped Buffy pack some of her clothing to take to Giles’ place. It felt odd to both of them that she would no longer live at home.

Buffy was excited to be moving in with her husband but sad to leave home permanently. She knew she would never move back again and it left her feeling displaced. Giles saw at once that she was out of sorts and made a move to comfort her. “What’s wrong, love?”

Buffy sniffed. “It’s just that I’m leaving home, Giles. It makes me sad. I’m happy I’m going to you, but sad I’m leaving my mom. Does that make sense?”

He patted her on the back. “Of course it does, my heart. You are leaving the last of your childhood behind tonight. Moving in with your husband is a big step as is leaving your mother whom you love dearly. Don’t worry about these feelings, dear. They are normal and healthy and it’s my job to make sure you don’t regret your choice.”

“Oh Rupert. I could never regret loving you. I want to be a good wife to you, but what I know about that could be written on the head of a pin! I’m willing to learn, if you want to teach me.”

“Nothing to learn, Buffy! Just be yourself.” He kissed her lightly and began carrying bags of her stuff to his car. They finished moving just before sunset. Buffy debated showering before patrol but decided to do it afterwards instead. She changed into a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt, armed herself to the gills and kissed her husband good night.

Three dead and dusted vamps later she was thinking about calling it a night. She felt him before he spoke to her.

“’Allo, Pet! Nice night for a walk?” Spike asked her, smoke from his ever-present cigarette coming from his nose and mouth.

“I don’t know why you bother to smoke,” she said. “I mean it’s not like you can get addicted to the nicotine, right?”

“I just like something to do with my hands, luv,” he admitted. “Besides, now that everybody’s all politically correct on the evils of smoking, I like to do it just to piss off the health nuts.”

Buffy chuckled. “That is a benefit!” she admitted ruefully.

“What have you been up to lately, Slayer? Haven’t seen you out for the past couple of nights,” the blond vampire said.

“Oh, we all flew down to Las Vegas so I could marry Giles.” Buffy told him.

“What!” He staggered momentarily. “You married Giles? Tell me this is a joke!”

“No joke. The Council was up to their old tricks again and were trying to get him deported,” she explained. “I don’t know why somebody hasn’t whipped their butts for them. If I ever get to England, I think a little ‘talk’ might be in order.”

“Stay away from those blokes, Buffy. They’re right bastards.” He warned her seriously. “Now tell me more about this marriage business.”

“Well, the only sure way of keeping him here was for one of us to marry him. Since the other girls all have partners, we thought it had better be me. Turns out it was a pretty good decision since we seem to love each other.”

“You sleeping with him, then?” he queried roughly.

She looked at him. “I’m married to a hot guy like that and you think I could not sleep with him?”

The vampire’s heart was breaking. He had loved this girl for years and now she was married to another man, one that actually lived and breathed. He sighed. He had known that she wasn’t for him, but it still hurt. Well, if he couldn’t be her enemy anymore, and he couldn’t be her lover, maybe he could be the best friend they had.

He put out a hand to halt their progress before turning to speak to her. “You know that I love you, pet, but now you belong to Giles whom I actually kind of like. So, since you won’t ever be mine, maybe I can be your friend, yours and his.”

She studied him calmly. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“’Course I mean it! I’m an evil vampire, not a liar after all.” He sounded mildly indignant.

“Well, then. I’d like to have you for a friend and I think Giles would too.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek before moving on. “Thank you.”

He touched his cheek, tears in his eyes.

“I’ll see you home, then. Nothing happening here tonight.” He cleared his throat.

“Yeah, looks like you’re right about that.” They walked companionably till they got to Giles’ place. “You want to come in? Talk to Giles, have a cup of tea?” she offered.

“Nah. I’ve got to be moving along. There’s a poker game at Willy’s tonight that I thought I might catch.” He waved and walked away.

“Vampires!” she said to herself as she let herself into her new home.

“Giles? I’m home.” He came from the kitchen with a tea tray and two cups.

As he prepared the snack, he asked her about her evening. She told him it had been uneventful except for the Spike encounter. When he heard what the vampire had disclosed, he was stumped. The true friendship of a vampire was something not often given, mainly because they were evil and friendship wasn’t generally something they had to offer. He believed that Spike was sincere, however. He had known the monster loved Buffy, but he had assumed that it was a ploy. Apparently not, he mused.

They say back on the couch and chatted about the expected INS visit. They reviewed some of their knowledge of each other, when Buffy had a sudden thought.

“Oh, I nearly forgot about this one! The other day when I was explaining things to mom, she asked if we had given any thought to kids. I think that’s probably one of the things the INS might ask, don’t you?” She leaned into him.

He sat up like he had been stuck with a pin. “Oh, my God, Buffy! We didn’t use any birth control last night! This whole question could be moot!” He turned to look at her. “I’m so sorry! This is entirely my fault.”

She sat up, startled. “What’s your fault? And don’t worry about the birth control thing, we’re covered.”

He sat back limply. “I didn’t know you were on the pill! As your Watcher, you should keep me informed of these things.”

“I’m not on the pill. I have an implant thingy.” She showed him her arm. “I got to thinking about this last year. Sometimes when I’m injured, I forget to take my pills. You know what they call girls that forget their pill? Mommy! I couldn’t take that chance. This thing stays effective for five years, no thought, no fuss.”

He examined the tiny device, and then kissed it gently. “I didn’t mean to ‘wig’ on you, Buffy, but I don’t want to make you pregnant by accident. I want our children to be planned, when we are ready for them.”

She leaned over and rested her head on his chest. “So, you do want kids?”

“I would love children, but we will have to plan very carefully and get some reinforcements to protect you. It’s possible we might have to leave the Hellmouth till you give birth. We can plan that when the time comes.” He looked down at her with a shy smile. “Would you object to carrying my child?”

She purred against him. “I think that might be the sexiest thing I have ever thought about.” She put her hand on his chest. “But maybe we need to practice a while first. You know, just to be sure we know how to go about things?”

He laughed and swung her into his arms.

The INS visit came three weeks later early in the morning, before they had managed to get out of bed. Giles awoke to someone knocking on his front door. Swearing under his breath that if it were a Scooby, they would be in dire trouble, he managed to pull on a pair of jeans before stumbling down the stairs. Since it was daylight, he simply threw the door open only to find a man and woman in business suits carrying briefcases standing on his stoop.

“Rupert Giles?” Asked the man.

Giles rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Yes?”

“I’m Agent Bill Hamilton, and this is Agent Mary Rice. We’re from the INS and we’d like to speak with you, if you don’t mind.” It wasn’t a question.

“Oh, of course. Come in, won’t you? Let me get dressed and we’ll be right with you.” He ran up the stairs to the loft bedroom and woke his sleeping wife.

“Buffy! Wake up! You need to get dressed, love. The INS is here.” He threw on a T-shirt and pulled her from the bed.

Down below, the Agents could hear him speaking to somebody. They looked at each other curiously. Who did the Englishman have sleeping with him?

Buffy pulled on shorts and a T-shirt and quickly brushed her hair. She yawned and stomped downstairs.

“Hi. I’m Buffy. Rupert will be down in a sec. Can I get you some tea?” They both shook their heads. Buffy went into the kitchen and put on the kettle. “Sorry I’m so out of it, but we were still in bed.”

“Are you a friend of Mr. Giles?” Asked agent Rice.

“He’s my husband, so I guess you could say we’re friends.” Buffy admitted. “Actually, he’s my best friend in the whole world.”

Giles came down the stairs in time to hear her comment. He ignored the agents and planted a kiss on his wife’s head. “And you’re mine, my heart.”

“Tea?” Asked Buffy.

“Yes, thanks.”

Agent Hamilton cleared his throat, not used to being virtually ignored. “Mr. Giles, this young woman claims to be your wife? How is that?”

Smiling, Giles looked up. “Quite the usual way, Agent Hamilton, I assure you.”

“But you weren’t married last month when we spoke with you.” The agent continued.

“No, I wasn’t. I explained to my friends what was going on and Buffy forced me to move our wedding up. We went to Vegas several of weeks ago.” He admitted. “I wanted to wait, but my love is a very strong willed woman.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Giles, you know that marrying to avoid deportation is a serious offense with prison terms attached,” the agent warned them.

“Good thing that wasn’t why we did it then, isn’t it?” said Buffy as she emerged carrying a tea tray. She poured tea for herself and her husband and sat on the arm of the chair Rupert was occupying.

“Tell us about this so-called marriage,” Agent Rice demanded.

Giles began. “Five years ago, I came to Sunnydale and got a job as the librarian in the local high school. On the very first day of class, a beautiful girl walked into my library to get her books. We became friends and spent a great deal of time together, sometimes alone and sometimes with our friends, Xander Harris and Willow Rosenburg, also students at the school. After a time, I realized that I was deeply attracted to Buffy, but she was so very young and a student in my care, so I could do nothing.” He ran his hand over her golden hair and she turned to him with love in her eyes.

Buffy spoke. “I walked into the library and I thought, Wow! The librarian is cute!” She giggled as he pulled her hair. “Hey! I was only sixteen; it was permissible. Anyhow, we started spending lots of time together. Not dating, but just being friends. I dated a couple of other guys in the mean time.” She shrugged. “Didn’t work out. I realized on prom night of my senior year that there was only one guy I really wanted to dance with, and that was Giles.” She took the hand he wrapped around her waist and stroked it gently.

“After the school blew up we started meeting at his place and we got to know each other better. I still wasn’t totally on board with loving a man so much older than me, so I dated a college guy for a while. He turned out to be a big insecure dope. Giles was there for me to help me over the breakup. We kinda started dating almost by accident.”

Giles took up the thread of the story. “Buffy might think it was an accident, but I meant to make my move before she tumbled into another bad romance. I asked her out and pretty soon she realized that we had so much in common. I believe in striking while the iron is hot, so I asked her to marry me. She was hesitant and her mother was quite upset with me, but I was persistent and Buffy agreed to become engaged to me. When this INS business cropped up, it made her realize what her true feelings were and we were finally married.”

Buffy smiled up at the suspicious agents. “Best move I ever made. Giles is the loveliest man ever born. We were friends and comrades, and then finally lovers, but it was worth it because we built something that will last till our deaths.”

Agent Hamilton spoke. “You said your mother doesn’t’ approve of this marriage?”

“She freaked.” Buffy admitted calmly. “She said if he was fifteen years younger, it would be OK, but that he was just too old.” She stroked the hand holding her against him. “She was wrong. He’s not too old at all.”

Giles blushed at her suggestive remark, but pulled her into a bear hug anyway. “Love you, minx!”

“Love you, old guy!” Buffy returned, squeaking when he squeezed her in retaliation.

“What does your father think of this situation?” Asked Agent Rice, ignoring the by-play.

“Oh, my gosh! Giles! I was supposed to call him last night! I totally forgot!” She sprang up, excused herself to the agents and ran for the phone in the loft.

Giles shook his head ruefully. “She’s still very young,” he explained. “We stopped in LA on our way back from the wedding but he was out of town.” He frowned. “He hasn’t been a very good father for Buffy. I think in the past five years he has only contacted her maybe a half-dozen times. I know he only came to see her once in all that time. She loves him, but he treats her as a bother, a chore he has to make time for out of a busy schedule. Man’s a bloody pillock, if you ask me. He acts as if LA is on the other side of the country from Sunnydale instead of an easy two-hour drive.”

Buffy came slowly down the stairs. “He wasn’t home. I called his office and they said he’s gone to Spain for a month with a ‘secretary.’” She spat the last word out harshly. Giles came to her and pulled her against his chest, stroking her back and rubbing little circles on it.

“It’s all right, love. He’s a fool who tossed away a beautiful family for the illusion of freedom. Shhh. It’s all right.” He swung her up into his arms and settled back into the chair, holding her very close to him.

The agents took in the very real show of loving concern from the ex-librarian and looked at each other. “We have a few more questions, Mr. Giles. We are sorry to intrude at this time, but it’s difficult to make the time in our schedules for these house calls.”

Giles waved his hand at them, giving them permission to stay. “I understand. It’s quite all right.”

The agents asked him questions about his business, his term of unemployment after the destruction of the school, and his long-term plans. The last was a question he hadn’t been expecting.

“I don’t really have long-term plans as such,” he admitted. “The shop is doing well, I have my Buffy at last, I like living in California; things seem to be going on quite well on their own.”

“Do you and Mrs. Giles plan to have children?” questioned Agent Rice.

“We were just discussing that the other night. We decided that when the time is right, we would definitely like children, but we want time for ourselves first.” Giles chuckled. “Buffy’s mother would kill me if I got her pregnant this soon after the wedding!”

“You know mom’s starting to like you,” Buffy teased. “She didn’t even try to hit you with the ax the other night!” They both giggled.

The agents tried not to be revolted by the sight of a middle-aged man giggling like a girl, but it was difficult.

“Mom’s hell with an ax,” Buffy explained. “One time our school was invaded by a gang on PCP and mom hit this guy with an ax before he could hurt me. She rocks!”

Giles grinned. “Well, she swings, at any rate!” Buffy punched him lightly for the awful pun.

“We would like to speak to each of you alone, if possible, Mr. Giles.” Agent Hamilton said.

He set Buffy on her feet and gently swatted her bottom. “Run upstairs, love and make the bed whilst I talk with the agents.”

She grinned and promising him retaliation for the swat, left the room.

The questions were the ones he expected and he answered them with ease.

Agent Rice mentioned that he seemed to know quiet a bit about his wife. “I’ve loved her since she was sixteen. There isn’t much that has happened in her life that I don’t know about.” Giles admitted.

Soon, they were ready to question Buffy. He called her down and moved to the kitchen to begin making breakfast. Buffy was questioned quite rigorously. They seemed to think she would break much more easily than the older man, but she passed with flying colors. It seemed that while Giles had Watched her, she had spent a great deal of her time watching him as well. As the agents finished their questions, there was a knock at the door.

Buffy rose to answer it and Xander and Anya walked in, followed by Willow and Tara. Everybody stopped when they saw the INS agents sitting on the couch.

“Oh, sorry. We didn’t realize you had company. We just came over to see if you guys wanted to go to the beach for a picnic.” Willow asked.

Buffy introduced everyone and the agents decided that now would be a good time to question some of the Giles’ friends. They began by asking them how long the two had been together.

Xander spoke up. “I met Buffy the day school began five years ago. She was so cute! I had a crush on her forever. She met Giles that day, though and they had something going right from the start.”

Willow agreed. “Mr. Giles was so…dreamy, I had a big crush on him. But it was pretty obvious that he was Buffy’s from day one.”

Anya and Tara both agreed that the attraction had been there at least as long as they had been part of the group. Anya spoke thoughtfully. “I honestly thought they were a couple when I met them several years ago, but Xander says not. I think they loved each other, but were clueless.”

The others agreed with her. Giles brought a tray full of soft drinks and everybody helped themselves. “Oh, I say! I wasn’t clueless. I knew I loved Buffy!”

“Hey! I knew I loved you too, but I didn’t think it was romantic love for a long time!” She came and took his hand. “I knew that you were the most important person in my life the night you tried to go to the Master for me.”

“Who’s the Master?” Asked Agent Hamilton “and why was that the night you knew how you felt about Mr. Giles?”

Buffy had forgotten the agents were present. “Oh. The Master was the leader of a gang that wanted to take over Sunnydale. They were very bad people. That gang that attacked the high school? That was part of his posse, though he was gone by that time. Giles found out that the Master had put out a contract on me. He had a thing for blondes or something. He wanted me to join his gang and when I wouldn’t…” she quickly explained. “Anyway, he really hated me and told me that if I wanted my friends to live, I had better come to his hangout that night.” She shuddered. “I knew he was going to kill me. Giles tried to go for me but I knocked him out when his back was turned. I sneaked out to the Master’s place and he drowned me. Luckily, Xander had followed me and revived me with CPR. We got back to Giles just as the Master was going to kill him. There was a big fight and one of his own people killed him in a power play. They took the body away with them and they pretty much left us alone after that.”

The Agents were appalled. “What did the police have to say about this?” Agent Rice asked.

“We never told them. There is an ongoing battle with the remnants of that gang in this town and the police have enough on their hands without worrying about something that was over. No proof anyhow. We tried to forget, but sometimes things happen that we know are gang related.” She looked at them seriously. “Never, no matter what, invite anybody you don’t know into your house at night. The murder rate is very, very high in this town and that’s one of their favorite methods. They have a rule that says they can’t come in unless you invite them. Um, they like to call themselves the Vampires, and they pretend that they have to follow all the rules of the undead. It’s a thing they like to do.”

The agents looked at each other. “I’ve never heard of anything so weird in all my time working for the government, and believe me, you see a lot of weird stuff.” Agent Hamilton admitted.

“Did you ever have any other run-ins with this gang?” he asked curiously.

Buffy looked at Giles who nodded reassuringly. “I dated a guy who had been one of them for a long time. When I met him, I didn’t know about his past. I thought he was handsome and charming-and I guess he was, but the call of the gang was too powerful and he went back to them and turned his back on all of us who had been his friends. He, he murdered a teacher at the school who was a good friend of all of ours. He stalked Willow and me; sneaked into our houses while we were asleep and drew pictures of us to show he could get to us at any time. We found out that the gang had been giving him drugs to make him psychotic and Willow came up with a formula that would calm him back down if we could get it to him in time. He was a real whacko though, and kidnapped Giles. He tortured him for hours because he knew how much I loved him.” She touched Giles lightly. “Show them, honey.”

He pulled off his T-shirt and turned his bare back to the assembled room. Agent Rice sucked in her breath, horrified at the site of his scarred back. Giles put his shirt back on. “He also broke most of the bones in my hand. He was about to use a chain saw when Buffy, Xander and Willow broke in and injected him with the drug. He had a madman’s strength but finally, the drug took effect. He was in hell for months, uh, suffering withdrawal from the stuff the gang had been giving him. When he came back, we just couldn’t trust him anymore and he left town.”

“But didn’t you say he murdered that teacher?” Asked Agent Hamilton.

“Yes, but he had more than paid the price for it. Besides, we had no concrete proof that it was him. He lost his soul, his love, his friends, and everything that had meant anything to him. Last we heard, he was making restitution to his victims.” Buffy said sadly.

“Wow, you guys really lead exciting lives,” said Agent Rice. She swept up her papers and so did her partner. “I think we will have to pay one more surprise visit sometime in the next six months, but from what we have seen, not only is Mr. Giles a happily married man, he is just the sort of citizen this country needs. I don’t know where the report of undesirable qualities originated, but it is obviously untrue.”

They shook hands all around and the agents left. Everybody collapsed on the couch, floor and chairs. “That was some really amazing fact-jiggling!” Tara said admiringly.

“Well, what were we going to say, ‘Oh, yeah, I’m a vampire slayer and there really are vampires and we need Giles here because he keeps me alive?” Buffy snorted. “They wouldn’t believe the truth, so you give them something they can believe in. Besides, I love my husband and the marriage part actually is true.”

The INS agents followed up the information they had been given and it led them to several very interesting conclusions. First of all, they found out that whatever connection the group had to the gang, it was not over as implied, or else they were the most incredibly clumsy group of people to walk the earth. They examined their hospital medical records and found that Buffy and Giles had been admitted more than twenty times apiece for treatment from beatings, stabbings, concussion, unexplained blood loss, and a variety of other woes. They noticed the rest of the group wasn’t that far behind in terms of injuries.

They interviewed survivors from the high school and found out that many of them believed that Buffy and Giles had been in a relationship for years, but that there was tremendous respect and admiration for both of them. They were sure that people were concealing something from them, but they couldn’t pin down exactly what. People seemed to get very protective of the unusual couple and became actively hostile when they found out the INS was investigating Giles.

Next, they interviewed Buffy’s mother. She was working in her gallery when they arrived. After introducing themselves, she invited them to her office.

“So, we understand that you disapprove of the marriage of your daughter and Mr. Giles?” Agent Rice questioned.

“Well, I do and I don’t. He is more than twice her age, but he loves her so very much, it’s hard to stand in the way.” Joyce admitted. “He’s a very good man and has saved all of our lives many times.”

“Does Buffy love him?” Agent Hamilton spoke.

Joyce laughed. “Head over heals. I could see this coming years ago. Everything with her was Giles. ‘Giles said, Giles thinks, Giles did this, Giles did that!’ I heard so much about him; I thought he might be living with us. Luckily, my daughter is fairly oblivious and didn’t know she loved him for years.” Joyce shook her head. “She’s not a natural blonde, but she might as well be when it comes to things like this!”

The agents chuckled. “They were telling us stories about the gang of so-called Vampires that have been trying to take over this town. Do you know anything about that?”

Joyce shuddered. “Buffy kept most of it away from me for several years. She was in trouble back in LA. I didn’t realize it was gang related. We moved here to start a new life, but it followed her. They wanted her very badly. Mr. Giles helps her, but they are still after her and they will be for the rest of her life. They targeted her and they never stop.”

“Haven’t you gone to the police about this?” Agent Rice asked.

“They wouldn’t believe us. They thought that Buffy was actually in the gang for a long time. She was arrested for murder once when she was seventeen. Her friend Kendra had her throat slit in the high school library. They found Buffy bending over her body. She ran and managed to save her friends who had been kidnapped by the gang, but she blamed herself for Kendra’s death. She had been lured away and thought if she had been there, the girl would have been safe. When her friend Xander regained consciousness, he explained that Buffy hadn’t even been there and the charges were dropped.”

“It was very hard for Buffy that year. Her boyfriend had gone bad and she felt like she was responsible. Mr. Giles had told her the boy was trouble, but she wouldn’t listen to him.” She shook her head. “Eventually he got himself under control, but nobody wanted to be around him after that and he left. I was glad.”

“Has Buffy been involved with lots of boys?” Agent Hamilton spoke.

“She has had two serious boyfriends. She says it’s not safe to bring a guy into her life, what with the gang thing. Now she has Mr. Giles. He can take care of himself and her.”

“Who was the other boyfriend?”

“That would be Riley Finn. He was some sort of military guy. Buffy met him last year at college. He found out about her life and couldn’t deal with it. He cheated on her and she found out. He issued an ultimatum that she could either forgive him or he was leaving. He left. He was a nice boy, but not the right one for Buffy. He was weak where she was strong and he couldn’t stand it.” She looked up. “You know, I really think Mr. Giles is the one for her. It’s been hard for me to see past his extra years, but when I think back on all that has gone on, I see that they have a bond that just can’t be broken. They really care about each other.”

“Do you think your daughter would fake a marriage to keep him in this country?” One of the Agents queried.

“She wouldn’t have to. I have never seen two people more in love than they are. If I didn’t know Buffy was protected, I’d guess she’d be pregnant by now.” Joyce shuddered slightly. “Sorry, just the thought of my daughter and that man having sex gives me a wiggins as the kids say.”

“So, you don’t care for Mr. Giles?”

“He’s a great guy, but I wish he wasn’t so damn old! He’s a year younger than her dad!”

“How do you think her father is going to react to her marriage?”

She chuckled. “I think he’s going to have a cow. I’d be willing to bet he actually gets off his ass, er, rear and comes down to Sunnydale to protect his daughter’s honor or something.” She laughed out loud at the thought that provoked. “Giles will wipe the floor with him. I hope I get to see that!”

“Is Mr. Giles given to fighting?”

“Not at all. He is one of the most calm, peaceful men I have ever known, but he can take care of himself. I’ve seen him fight off, er, gang members, without any problem. If Hank gets shirty with him, Giles will take care of it.”

“We’ve noticed everybody, including his wife, calls him Giles. Why is that?”

“They started it back when they first met him, I think. Buffy hated his first name and she was going through one of those rebellion things where she wouldn’t use somebody’s title. He was Giles by default and everybody just stayed with that. He says he doesn’t mind.” She shook her head. “I think he probably even refers to himself that way anymore. Perhaps you’ve noticed that anything Buffy says, thinks or does is automatically OK in his book? She ran away for several months when she was seventeen. It was the aftermath of the Angel affair. I was furious with her when she came back, her friends would barely speak to her. Do you know what Giles did? He opened up his door and saw her standing there and he took her in his arms and hugged her. He just said, “Welcome home, Buffy.” There were no reproaches, no chiding, no questions. Just ‘Welcome home, Buffy.” When she told me about it, I felt like the meanest dog in town because he did something for my daughter that I couldn’t do. He forgave her instantly. I think he had even convinced himself that it was his fault. Buffy can do no wrong and I suggest you don’t ever criticize her when he can hear you.”

The agents took note of this. “Thank you Mrs. Summers. You’ve been very helpful. Oh, there was one more question.”

“Yes?”

“Why do Mr. Giles, Buffy and their friends have so many injuries that require hospitalization? Is it that problem with the gang?”

“That’s it.” Joyce confided. “They don’t ever stop. No matter how many of them get arrested or get killed in one of their gang battles, they just keep coming after Buffy and by default her friends. I think it's become a status thing after all these years. My daughter faces death every time she steps outside. Someday, they will win and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it.”

“How does she manage to fight them off? She’s a tiny little girl.”

“Mr. Giles has taught her a great deal about self-defense. It’s a hobby of his, apparently.”

“He never mentioned that.”

“He doesn’t like to brag,” Joyce explained.

The Agents went back to their hotel rooms and discussed the case. There were so many puzzles here that they didn’t know where to begin or even if they should begin. They were satisfied the marriage was real, so their jobs were technically done, but there was something…off and they couldn’t pin point exactly what it was. They decided to go to a restaurant within walking distance for dinner. It was well after dark by the time they finished. The streets, they noticed, were deserted. Feeling suddenly apprehensive, they began walking toward their hotel.

Suddenly, four strange looking men came out of an alley and walked towards them. Their faces were odd somehow. As they drew closer, the pair of government workers saw with horror that they were not human. They had fangs, and their eyes were yellow. Their foreheads were malformed with hideous ridges.

“Well, lookit what we have here, boys! Looks like dinner to me.” One of the creatures spoke; slavering as it slowly licked its fangs. The couple tried to run, but the things were on them in seconds. Agent Rice managed to get out a scream before they pinned her back against the wall. The two holding Agent Hamilton made him watch as they ripped her shirt open at the neck and leaned over to sink their filthy fangs into her throat.

Suddenly, there was a flurry of activity as the creatures were ripped away from the fainting woman. The agents saw a small blond girl calmly holding a wooden stick in her hand. “Hey! These are friends of mine and I think you better leave them alone!”

One of the creatures tried to edge around her. “Slayer! Leave us and you won’t get hurt!”

“I don’t think so, fang-boy. In fact, I think you’re going to look real good filling an ashtray.” She swung into action trading blows, swirling to meet new attacks, the sharp stick in her hands keeping the monsters at bay. Finally, with a swift jump and twirl, she drove the stick into one of the creature’s chest. It disintegrated into a small pile of dust! She dispatched two more in short order. The fourth tried to run, but she threw the stick after it and got it in the back. All four of the monsters had been eliminated.

She turned to the shaken couple. “Come on, I’ll walk you guys back to your hotel. You really shouldn’t go out at night in Sunnydale. It’s not safe.”

Agent Hamilton found his voice. “W, what were those creatures?”

“Just some vampires. Nothing special.” She shrugged.

“Vampires! Vampires are real?” Agent Rice spoke hoarsely, her throat was sore from all the screaming she had done.

“Well, yeah. You know all that stuff we told you about gangs? Well, scratch that and write in vampires, oh, and demons and other creatures of darkness.” She looked at their shocked gazes. “You probably wonder what’s up with me, right? I’m what’s called the Slayer. One girl in each generation chosen to fight the forces of darkness, yada, yada, yada. Giles is not only my husband, he’s my Watcher. The man sent to train the Slayer. He kept me alive long enough to fight all the evil that lurks in this town.” She smiled wryly. “Most Slayers die before they reach eighteen. I’m twenty and it’s thanks to Giles that I’ve lived this long.”

“Maybe we should talk to Mr. Giles again? Maybe he could give us more information?” Agent Rice suggested shakily.

“Yeah, I guess he could.” Suddenly, she turned her head looking about with a predator’s gaze. Then she relaxed. “Come on out, Spike. These are friends.”

A medium sized blond man walked out from the darkness. He was wearing all black clothing which made his already pale skin seem even whiter. The leather duster that hung from his shoulders gave him a very frightening appearance.

“Who’s the pair of ‘happy meals’, ducks?” he said with a smirk.

“These are the INS agents sent to investigate Giles and me.” Buffy explained.

“You want me to kill them for you?” he offered, grinning evilly.

“No! Just cover us while we walk over to Giles’ place, OK?”

“OK, but you never let me have any fun,” he complained.

Buffy rolled her eyes and they walked the unhappy couple to her new home. She opened the door. “Giles! We had an incident tonight! You’d better come down. We have company.”

He looked over the loft railing and quickly beat his way downstairs. “What happened?”

“They know. They got attacked coming back from dinner. I gave them some of the basic details, but they seem to want more info.” She looked around. “Oh, I brought Spike home too, just in case we need a visual aid.”

Giles sat the trembling couple down and began questioning them carefully. He sent Buffy into the kitchen to make everyone tea. When she returned, he began explaining exactly what was going on. “You’re actually quite privileged, you know. Not only did you see your first vampires, you lived through the experience and you found out about the Slayer. Quite a night for you, I suspect.”

“But how can things like vampires exist? Surely they were just men made up with masks or something?” Agent Hamilton begged to be given the information that would allow him to sleep nights again.

“No, I’m afraid not. Vampires are quite real, very deadly. You’re exceptionally lucky Buffy was patrolling at that end of town this evening.” He sipped his tea.

“I, I just don’t believe it!” snapped the exhausted agent. “This can’t be real.”

Giles sighed and looked at the blond man leaning against the bookcase. “You see Spike, don’t you? Would you say he looked human to you?”

“Well, of course he’s human!” the agent babbled.

Giles waved at Spike who morphed into his game face. Agent Rice fainted and Agent Hamilton shrieked and backed away. Spike slid back into his human guise, smirking happily. “I love doing that!” he said. “It just never gets old!”

After everyone had settled down again, Giles tried to continue his explanations. Agent Hamilton was still babbling. “But, but he’s like a good vampire, right?”

Giles looked at Spike and grinned. “No, he’s quite evil, actually. Got his little nickname by inventing new uses for railroad spikes.”

“Why do you let him in here then, why isn’t he attacking us?”

“Well, he’s our friend.” Giles said as if this were the most rational explanation in the world.

“Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God!”

“Now, then, calm down and drink your tea.” He made them take the cups of tea, which they bolted down like it was a lifeline to sanity.

“I really think it might be better if you went back to LA in the morning. Sunnydale doesn’t seem to agree with you.” Giles said with a wry grin.

They nodded vigorously.

Agent Rice asked timorously if this ‘vampire thing’ was confined to Sunnydale.

“Oh, no. Vampires exist the world over, we just have an abundance because we are living on the Hellmouth.”

“Are there Vampires in LA? What’s a Hellmouth?” These questions were asked simultaneously by both Hamilton and Rice.

“Yes. There are a good many vampires and other assorted beasties in LA. Buffy’s ex-boyfriend, Angel, lives in LA right now.” Giles looked over at Spike. “Do you know of anybody else who might be a problem, Spike?”

“Hmmm. Last I heard, Darla and Dru were still hanging about, and then there’s those lawyer blokes. God only knows what they’ve got a line into.” The blond vampire shrugged.

The agents looked slightly glazed. Giles continued. “Now, let’s see. Oh, yes. The Hellmouth. Well, quite literally, it’s a doorway into Hell. We keep the lid on it by locating our current Slayer here. Buffy has prevented the Apocalypse quite a few times already, haven’t you love?”

She smiled at him . “Well, let’s see. There was the time I staked the Master. How many times did he plan to open the gates? I think it was three. And there was the Ultimate Evil. And the whole Acathla thing. Oh, don’t forget Adam. Can we count him? He didn’t want to open the Hellmouth, did he? Uhm, yeah! Spike and Dru building the Judge! Now that was pretty apocalypsey. There’s probably more that I just can’t remember right now. Demons and Evil…it’s just not that big a deal to me anymore. If I had a dime for every vamp I’ve dusted since I was fifteen, I’d have a lot of money right now!”

Giles looked at her fondly. “Buffy is the best Slayer to come along in a thousand years. She really is exceptional, even if I do say so myself.” He looked at the agents very seriously. “Now, I don’t suppose that I must caution you never to speak of this to any other person as long as you live? The Watcher’s Council, that’s the group that set INS on me to begin with, isn’t very happy with me right now. They want Buffy to have a different Watcher and that is simply not going to happen. They would be quite upset to find out that Buffy’s secret identity has been compromised yet again. They could very well take…drastic measures to prevent such information getting out.”

“D, drastic measures?” whispered Agent Rice.

“People disappear all the time.” Giles shrugged meaningfully.

“We’re not saying a word. A, and as of right now, you are guaranteed a green card. We’ll flag your file so that if anything like this crops up again, we will be contacted immediately.” Agent Hamilton looked at the door. “I hate to impose, but I really, really don’t want to go outside again tonight. Could we possibly stay here?”

Giles smiled kindly. “Of course. Give Spike your keys and he and Buffy can fetch your luggage for you. Are you all paid up at the hotel? Yes? Good, then…” He looked at his wife. “Would you mind, my heart?”

“Anything for you, sweetie.” She gave him a look that was as intimate as a kiss and called for Spike to come on. “Want to stop at the Bronze and see if we can dust a few more tonight?” They heard her ask as the pair left the apartment.

“How can you stand all this?” Agent Hamilton asked. “You obviously love Buffy very much, yet I’ve seen the hospital reports on you and her and the others. You all have been seriously injured time after time. How can you just continue to live a normal, mundane life when you know that, that vampires actually exist?”

Giles sighed. “It’s not easy, but I was raised to be a Watcher. We begin training at age ten, so, in effect, I’ve always known about this sort of thing. Buffy was a lost Slayer. The Council didn’t find her till she was fifteen. It’s amazing that she’s lasted as long as she has, really. The Council raises most Slayers. Trained to fight from the time they can walk. More than half die before they are eighteen. Her first Watcher died to save her. I would do the same; even the bloody pillocks on the Watcher’s Council would do it if necessary. The Slayer is vital to the safety of the world and must be protected at any cost. When one dies, another is called, but it takes time to train a Slayer. I’ve heard of girls who died the night they were chosen. It’s damned sad.” He rose. “Let me get you a couple of sleeping bags. They aren’t the greatest, but they are better than the bare floor. One of you can have the couch, of course.”

Morning dawned bright and clear. Giles and Buffy got up and made breakfast for the still sleeping agents. The smell of coffee woke them and at first they couldn’t figure out what was going on. Then they remembered the horrors of the night before and slowly crawled out of the sleeping bags to the kitchen. Giles pointed them to the bathroom and they took turns getting dressed.

“Is it safe to go out during the day?” Asked Agent Rice.

“Mostly, yes.” Buffy explained. “Evil really does have a thing for darkness. Of course, that isn’t to say that some things can’t do the daylight gig if they want to.”

“How are we supposed to ever feel safe again?” asked Agent Rice.

“Well, there are basic precautions to take, like never go out after dark, always carry a cross, never but never invite strangers into your home, stay away from clubs, bars and other gathering places after dark, they’re basically feedlots for the undead.” Buffy shrugged. “Just be careful.”

Giles walked in and kissed his wife. “Yes, do be careful. As Buffy pointed out, there are things that aren’t really afraid of daylight. I can give you the names of some people who would be willing to come to your homes and cast basic protection spells for you, though you probably won’t need them.” He smiled kindly at them. “Willow might be willing to do something for you before you leave.”

“Willow?” Agent Hamilton asked curiously.

“Yes, she’s a very powerful Wicca.” Giles shrugged. “I could probably do some minor protection spells for you if she can’t get away today.”

“You know spells?” one of the agents questioned.

Buffy grinned. “Giles is like a mondo powerful sorcerer. I had only known him a few days when he saved me from the death spell a very powerful and nutso witch had cast on me.”

Giles blushed and ducked his head shyly. “It was entirely my pleasure, love.”

The two shell-shocked agents left for LA that morning. They promised Giles a green card and anything else that they could personally do to help either himself or Buffy in any capacity whatsoever. They were quite effusive. Giles had come through with several personal protection spells for each of them and had called Willow over later for her own brand of magic. She had brought two little pouches filled with aromatic herbs for the agents.

“Wear these if you have to go out of your homes. They sort of ‘repel’ evil. Mind, if something is really determined to eat you, they probably won’t help, but mostly these charms will keep the baddies from reaching that point at all. You simply won’t feel attractive to them,” the redhead explained.

The agents gulped and clasped the charms as if they were lifelines. Thanking the happy couple once again they got into their car and drove away. Giles turned to Buffy. “Well, that went surprisingly well, didn’t it?”

She laughed, put her arm around him, and kissed him. “It went real well,” she agreed. “You’ve got a green card and I have the best husband in the world. We made a couple of new friends; mom’s getting better about us being together, everybody lived through this. Yeah, it went well.”

He looked down at his bride. “I love you Buffy.”

“I love you too, Giles.”

The End