Title: Buffy, Giles and the Manchild Boys
Author: Sweetdoggie (stirling_summer@yahoo.com)
Pairing: B/G
Rating: FRA
Summary: Buffy and Giles fake a romance to fool his cousin and friends.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: No permission has been granted to use the characters. They are owned by their creator, Joss Whedon, Twentieth Century Fox, UPN, WB, and Mutant Enemy. This story is non-profit and is intended solely as entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.

Over the last few months, Rupert Giles, new proprietor of the Magic Box, had developed a comfortable routine. He opened the shop at ten every day, making sure that all the displays were tidy and the windows were clean. After that, he took a few moments to read his mail, a task that usually didn’t take long. Today was different, however, in that he had received a letter postmarked London. He eyed it with trepidation. He didn’t think it was Council business—they didn’t use this posh-looking stationary. No, this bore all the hallmarks of a letter from his cousin James.

He opened the letter and began reading only to have his deepest fears confirmed. James heard he had opened a shop and was coming to the United States to pay him a visit. And worse yet, he was bringing his friends. That group of womanizing hounds was coming to his town. He had no doubt that they would hit on all the girls. It made his blood boil to think of one of them putting his hands on Buffy. He had no doubt that Terry, the satyr, would make a try for her. Willow and Anya were relatively safe because they were deeply involved with their own boyfriends, but Buffy, single, young, and free was prime material for their predatory ways. He had to protect her.

Just then the bell of his shop rang merrily and his Slayer bounced into the shop. She was licking a lollipop and her beautiful lips had been stained red by the candy. It made him feel odd to think of her sweet, red mouth and he cleared his throat to distract himself. She saw the letter in his hand and evaluated the expression on his face. “What’s up, Giles? Not bad news, I hope.”

He sighed. “My cousin James is coming for a visit. He’s bringing three of his friends.”

“I didn’t know you had a cousin. Is he nice?” She gave the sucker a lick.

“It depends on what you mean by nice, I suppose. To his friends and other men, he’s quite a likeable chap.”

“I’m hearing a big ‘but’ in there, Giles.”

“Yes, well, he’s a total hound with women. He’s been a womanizer all his life. Divorced his wife and left his children because they were slowing down his pursuit of flashy young girls. His friends are just like him. And because they have rather an abundance of money, they find young women willing to sleep with them on a regular basis. It’s pointless and shallow and rather disgusting.”

She looked closely at him. “And they give you a hard time because you’re a decent guy, don’t they?”

He looked surprised. “Yes, I’ve always been excluded from their little group. No loss to me, if you want to know.”

“But it bothers you at the same time.” She was very astute.

“Yes, it does.” He sat at the table.

She joined him. “Does your cousin know about Slaying and you being a Watcher and everything?”

“He is aware that Watchers exist, I suppose. He wasn’t a suitable candidate and never had to train. He doesn’t know you are the Slayer, though I suppose he might guess if he thought about it. The likelihood of him thinking about anything other than sex is highly unlikely however.”

“Hmmm. Is he older or younger than you?”

“Actually, he’s about six years older than I am.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “He’s quite persuasive.”

“What does he do for a living?” Buffy wondered.

“He was a dentist of all things. He made a mint tending to the teeth of the wealthy and made some good investments. He’s now retired and living off his pile of money.”

“Is it going to be hard to keep an eye on them, this being the Hellmouth and all?”

“Lord, I hadn’t even factored that in. I’m simply dreading this visit for the personal humiliation that will be involved for me.”

“Why would you be humiliated? You are a wonderful guy, a hero in fact. If it wasn’t for you, they would all be dead or enslaved in some demon kingdom Hell on Earth thing.”

“I’m a forty-two year old man who has never been married, have been a scholar almost all of my life, and I don’t even have a girlfriend. At the very least, they’ll heap pity on me. At the worst, Gods! They might try to ‘fix me up’ with someone. They’ve done that before and it’s a bitter lesson in total humiliation.”

Buffy made a decision. “Then when they get here, you’ll just have to have a girlfriend.”

He looked up. “Who? It would have to be someone who knows me and who wouldn’t object to my practically living in your pocket. And I just don’t know all that many women.”

Buffy shrugged. “You know me. Who better to be your girlfriend than your Slayer?”

“It’s out of the question!”

“Why?”

“Buffy,” he said, using his patient voice, “if you were my girlfriend, you would be expected to kiss me and, and show me affection. James and the rest would definitely expect you to be sleeping with me. It’s absurd. You don’t have those sort of feelings for me.”

“I wouldn’t mind kissing you,” Buffy told him.

“Oh really?” He sounded skeptical in the extreme.

“Yeah, really.” She stood up and walked to him. Seated, he had to look up at her slightly. She put her hands on his shoulders and leaned in to him. Very delicately, she rubbed her candy-stained mouth over his. “Hmmm. Your lips are really soft.”

He sat almost paralyzed at her actions. Finally, his hands swept up her hips to hold her around the waist. She deepened the kiss, licking his lower lip till he opened his mouth. Her tongue probed at him tenderly. He took control and pulled her tightly against him, showing her what it was like to kiss a warm, human male. When they finally pulled back from each other it was to gaze with wonder into each other’s eyes.

Buffy felt wobbly so she seated herself on his lap. He moved his arms to hold her securely. She leaned her head against his chest. “Oh, yeah. I could kiss you, Giles, for like, days. When did you get so good at this and why didn’t I know about it sooner?”

“Because I had no great desire to spend the next ten years in prison for statutory rape,” he told her. “And as for being good, well, I am forty-two. You pick up a thing or two along the way.”

“I’ll say!” She looked up at him. “Do it again!”

Unable to stop himself, he bent his head to hers. This time, the kiss left them almost incoherent.

Finally, Buffy sighed. “It got better, didn’t it?”

“I’m afraid so,” Giles agreed. “Buffy, my dear, we have chemistry.”

“You can say that again.” She touched his chest with her left hand; her right was on his shoulder lightly touching his neck. “What are we going to do?”

“Um, date?” he suggested. “For real, I mean, not just to impress my pillock of a cousin?”

“OK. I can do that.” Buffy took a deep breath. “Are we going to tell the gang, and, Oh My God, my mom?”

“It would be difficult to hide the situation from them.” He thought for a moment. “Perhaps we could pretend that we are dating to keep my cousin from poking into my life too closely—just as we had originally planned. He won’t be here forever, after all. When he leaves we can say that we actually like seeing each other romantically. Your mum would have a chance to settle down and get used to the situation and the others would just think it was a good joke on James.”

Buffy looked at him admiringly. “Very clever. Mom would understand about the bit about keeping things secret and probably wouldn’t kick up too much of a fuss, and by the time she realizes that we are an item, well, it would be too late to say anything.” She hugged him. “I like it.” She thought for a minute. “When is your cousin coming?”

Giles picked up the letter from the table and looked at it. “August 2nd.”

“Geez, that’s only a week! Where are you going to put them?”

He shook his head. “I’m damned if I know. The loft simply won’t hold five people, let alone those prima donnas. They are used to the absolute best, you know.”

“Rent them one of those condo’s on the outskirts of town. They’re pretty nice and as a bonus they’re outside the major population areas—less vamp activity.”

“Good idea.” He cleared his throat. “Do you think you could persuade your mother to let you move in with me? I wouldn’t press you for anything, but James and the others will definitely expect you to be living with me.”

“Whosh, that’s going to be harder than just dating. I’m going to have to play that by ear.”

“Fair enough,” he said with a smile. The shop bell rang just then and he sat her on her feet as he stood to greet the customer.

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