Title: Buffy, Giles and the Manchild Boys
Author: Sweetdoggie (stirling_summer@yahoo.com)
Disclaimer: No permission has been granted to use the characters. They are owned by their creator, Joss Whedon, Twentieth Century Fox, UPN, WB, and Mutant Enemy. This story is non-profit and is intended solely as entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.

They took their leave of the visitors and made their way to Giles shop, as it was nearly time to open. He yawned. “Why don’t you go get some shuteye in the back, Giles? I’ll run the shop for a few hours,” Buffy told him.

“Are you sure?” He yawned again.

She turned him around and pushed him in the direction of the training room. “Pull out a mat and have a good rest.”

Business was slow and it gave Buffy a chance to reflect on the happenings of the past couple of days. She took a personal inventory. One, she appeared to be in love with her Watcher. Two, he seemed to love her too. Three, they had major chemistry going on between them. Four, she wanted to jump his bones. Five, his cousin and the others gave her the creeps.

She had heard about men looking at women as though they were simply pieces of meat, but she’d never seen anything quite so blatant. These guys were hunting all the time. If they’d been looking for relationships, it wouldn’t have been so bad, but they were only looking for sex and that made it icky. When they looked at her, they didn’t see Buffy, they saw an orifice, something to be used and discarded. She couldn’t begin to imagine why any women would go with them. They had poured out their charm and it left her cold.

Giles was so much better than them. They were all smart men but preferred to think with another part of their anatomy rather than with their brain. It was such a waste. She shrugged. You couldn’t change people. She wondered why they didn’t all have horrible sexually transmitted diseases.

About five hours later, Giles emerged from the back room looking blurry-eyed and frowsty. His beard was starting to look scratchy and his hair was standing straight up. He looked adorable. Uh oh, she thought. Adorable?

“Hello Buffy. Anything interesting happen?” He rubbed his chin.

“Sold that globe thing. Six hundred dollars and the guy didn’t even blink.”

“Mmmm. Good. I was wondering if that would sell.”

“Why don’t you run home and get cleaned up? You can bring me back some lunch.”

He looked at his watch. “Good heavens! It’s nearly three in the afternoon. You haven’t eaten yet?”

“No. I would have just ordered some takeout, but there wasn’t a lull till just now.” She smiled. “’S’OK, Giles. I won’t die from hunger because I’m a little late eating lunch.”

“You should have woken me,” he gently chided.

“You needed the sleep.”

He pulled his car keys out of his pocket. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with some food.”

“Go home and shave first,” she told him. “You’ll feel better.”

He smiled sweetly at her and did as she wished. He was back in less than forty-five minutes with delicious smelling boxes of Chinese food. She got out the plates and silverware they kept at the shop and they sat down at the table to eat in peace. No customers wandered in so they had a nice peaceful meal.

“Did I hear you telling your cousin about Watchers and Slayers this morning?”

“He remembered something from when he was a child—stories our grandmother told. I decided that if he knew about it, he could help keep the others safe.”

“Good idea. Did he believe you?” She ate a scoop of rice.

“No, but he did say he would come around alone today, before the others get up.” He looked up as the shop bell rang and his cousin walked in.

“James.” Giles greeted him.

“Rupert.” James looked around at the tiny shop. He supposed that persons interested in the paranormal would find it quite fascinating. He thought it smelled of garlic, which was rather curious. He asked about it.

“Um, why does it smell like garlic in here?”

Giles held up one of the boxes on the table. “Lunch.”

Buffy grinned. “Yeah. Trust me, big improvement on the lizard tails and stuff that it normally smells like.”

James shuddered. “Rupert tells me he’s a Watcher.”

Buffy smiled. “Yeah, best ever.”

“How do you even know about such things?” James wondered.

“I’m the Slayer,” Buffy told him simply.

“I heard you believe yourself to be the Slayer, but what proof do you have?” he countered.

“Go through that door back there and look around. I can close the shop in another twenty minutes and Rupert and I will come back and give you a demonstration.”

When he was gone, she turned to Giles. “You know, he really looks an awful lot like you, but he’s a complete, what’s that word you use—pillock.”

“Yes, he is rather, isn’t he? And you think he looks like me?” Giles said in a hesitant tone.

“Well, you’re both good looking, tall men with green eyes. You have similar bone structures in the face. I could tell you were related.” She shrugged. “I think you’re better looking, though his clothing sense seems to be a little finer tuned than yours.”

Giles smiled. “I’m sure James has never worn tweed.”

“Probably not, unless he was posing for something,” Buffy said returning the smile. “His loss. You look totally hot in tweed. Maybe later you could put on a pair of braces.” She licked her lips.

They heard a clatter from the back room. “I’d better go see what he’s up to,” Buffy said, sighing.

James had knocked over a pole arm stuck carelessly in one corner. He had never seen this many weapons in one place before. Even the museums he sometimes frequented didn’t run to this sort of depth and variety. He looked up when Buffy entered the room. “Do you like our little collection?”

“Bloody Hell! You could start a war with this stuff!” he sounded slightly outraged.

“I don’t generally start them,” Buffy replied. “Mostly I just finish them off.”

“You’re trying to tell me that Rupert, my plodding bookworm cousin, knows how to use all this stuff?” He was entirely skeptical.

“Rupert is one hell of a fighter,” Buffy said. “I’ve seen him take on five vampires and win.” She grinned. “He’s also a very powerful sorcerer.”

“What utter tosh!” James said dismissively.

Giles had finally been able to close the store up and had entered the training area in time to hear his comment. He raised an eyebrow at Buffy who just shrugged.

James turned around and saw the former librarian enter the room. “Your girl has been telling me the biggest load of rubbish I’ve ever heard, Rupert. I don’t believe for an instant that you know how to fight, let alone with all these, these bits and pieces!” He made an expansive gesture toward the room at large.

“Well, you’re entitled to your opinion, James,” Giles said, slipping off his jacket. He picked up a broadsword with a blade longer than his arm and gestured at Buffy to do the same. After motioning James back against the wall he attacked her.

Clang! The blades rang against each other time and again and James expected to see somebody’s head or at least a hand go flying off at any moment. He could see Rupert was using all his strength to attack the girl and Buffy seemed to be holding back when she returned the blows. The grace and precision his cousin showed was amazing, his strength and stamina were almost frightening, and his speed was astounding; yet when he was pitched into battle with a girl who looked practically incapable of even holding the heavy broadsword, he was barely holding his own. Suddenly, Rupert performed some sort of tricky maneuver and Buffy’s sword went flying. Instantly, she leapt upon the man and, barehanded, wrestled him to the ground, knocking the sword from his grip and pinning him to the mat. When he was down, panting in an attempt to regain his breath, the small blonde leaned over him and kissed him.

“Good fight, Rupert,” she told the exhausted man.

She helped him to his feet and as he was still panting, turned to James. “Want a shot?” Buffy indicated the fallen broadswords.

“No!” James yelped. “Good Lord, you’d cut me to ribbons in two seconds.”

“Yes, she bloody well would!” panted a sweating and exhausted Giles. “I’ve trained for better than thirty years and she can take me down any time she wishes. Buffy’s only been the Slayer for three years, but she could knock me on my arse when I first met her at sixteen. It’s rather impressive,” he understated with a smile.

“Giles is a fantastic fighter. Most humans couldn’t go a minute with me,” she explained.

“You said humans as if they were different from you. I don’t remember all that much Slayer lore, but surely you are human,” James said.

Buffy walked to a corner where there was a small barrel of construction supplies left over from the latest remodel of the shop. She reached in and pulled out a piece of rebar that was nearly three quarters of an inch thick. She handed it to James.

“Bend this,” she told him.

He grasped the ends but couldn’t even make the heavy steel quiver. She took it away from him and tied it in a knot as if it had been a shoestring. “Normal humans, especial girls that weigh ninety-six pounds, can’t do that.”

When she mentioned her weight, Giles looked over at her with a frown. “Have you been dieting again? You know you can’t afford to become so thin. It’s unhealthy.”

“Don’t worry so much, Giles. I’m not starving myself.” She leaned over and kissed him gently.

Just then they heard knocking at the shop door. Buffy went out and saw that the rest of the British contingent had arrived. She let them in.

“James is in the back with Rupert,” she told them. They pulled up chairs and sat at the research table.

Terry looked around. “Interesting stuff here.”

Patrick nodded. “Some of these things are very old. They look like genuine artifacts.”

Gary thought the place made his flesh creep. “Looks like a bloody load of rubbish to me. How can people believe this nonsense?”

“People believed in this sort of thing for thousands of years before they ever heard of Christianity, Gary. I don’t see why they shouldn’t still believe in it if they are inclined.” Patrick was intrigued.

Terry leaned back in his chair. “I dated a woman who believed in this sort of thing. Swore she was a witch. She had odd ideas, but as I recall she was quite the little sex machine.”

“Who was that, then?” Gary asked curiously.

“Oh, what was her name? Dyed her hair black, tall, thinnish—used to wear long flowing dresses?” He tried to remember her. “We only went out a couple of times. She wasn’t worth the maintenance as I recall. Wouldn’t eat meat; drink alcohol, smoke, or any of the interesting vices. Wanted me to stop smoking. I dropped her fairly quickly after that.”

The others shuddered. “Might as well be married if you want that sort of thing,” Gary told him.

“Just what I thought,” Terry admitted.

James and Rupert came out of the back room. They noticed James was a little pale around the edges. He steered well clear of Buffy and his friends assumed he had made a pass and had been rebuffed. Perhaps old, musty Rupert had a bit of balls after all and had told him to stay away, they all speculated.

Terry stood and gestured to the merchandise of the shop. “Quite an odd assortment of stuff, old boy. Do you do any business at all?”

Giles smiled. “Oh, my yes. Sunnydale has quite a large magic-using population.” He smiled and somehow, Terry wasn’t reassured by the look in his eyes.

“So, where’s a good place to meet women?” Gary asked the Watcher. Since this was of primary importance to all four of them, they sat up sharply and paid strict attention.

Giles looked over at Buffy who spoke. “There are only two good places to hang. One is dangerous, very. You don’t want to ever go there alone. The other is the Espresso Pump.”

They looked intrigued by the almost mentioned place that was dangerous, but decided to forgo a visit at this time. They knew about the violence to be found in America and it frankly frightened them. Of course, they didn’t really know the score in Sunnydale, so their sanity was left untampered.

“Let me call the others and we can all meet at the Pump,” she said.

“Others?” James spoke.

“Our friends. You met Willow and Oz this morning,” Giles elucidated.

“Are all your friends children, Rupert?” Patrick asked curiously.

Giles smiled. “Mostly, yes. Buffy’s mother, of course, is closer to our age.” He turned to his Slayer. “Love, why don’t you ask your mum to join us? We’ll make it a party.”

The men looked less than pleased at the inclusion of an adult female. They knew she would give them evil looks. It was what women did once they realized they were past it. Still, it looked like she might be the only game in town tonight and half a loaf was better than none, after all.

Joyce answered the phone and was surprised to receive the invitation that she accepted with alacrity. “Of course, Buffy. It sounds interesting.” She immediately began planning what to wear. I can be there in…” she looked at her watch…”forty-five minutes.”

“Cool, mom. See you there.” Buffy hung up and dialed Xander.

“Hey Xand! We were hoping you could grab Anya and swing by the Pump this evening. And could you call Will and Oz?” She smiled at whatever he replied. “Cool. See you there, then.”

She hung up and turned to Giles. “All set.”

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