Title: Ethan's Christmas Carol
Author: Sweetdoggie (stirling_summer@yahoo.com)
Pairing: B/G
Rating: FRT
Summary: Ethan shares Christmas with the Scoobies
Note: A Christmas fic because I am dripping sweat from these awful summer temps.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: No permission has been granted to use the characters. They are owned by their creator, Joss Whedon, Twentieth Century Fox, UPN, WB, and Mutant Enemy. This story is non-profit and is intended solely as entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.

Ethan sat in front of his computer two days after Christmas and eagerly popped in the bootleg disc. In many ways, this spell combined everything that was good about Christmas and put it at his fingertips. He could play it over and over and always get the same feelings from it. It had been a bit of a masterpiece to think about recording it on DVD. He trembled eagerly as the recording began to play.

~*~

Buffy walked into the house, dropping her bags on the floor in the foyer. “Giles, I’m home!”

“I’m in the kitchen, Buffy! Would you like a cup of eggnog?”

“I’d rather have some of that spicy tea you found. I can’t believe how cold England is.” She entered the kitchen.

“I did warn you.” He smiled warmly at her as she unwound the scarf from her neck.

“Giles, I’ve lived my entire life in Southern California. Cold is fifty degrees. It means you have to put on a jacket. You lured me to England and didn’t tell me that cold here means wearing more clothes than I’ve ever worn in my entire life and still being chilled. I’m actually wearing baggy sweaters. I’d kill for tweed!” She shook her head in mock sadness. “Look what you’ve done to me.”

She took off her coat and it was easy to see that she was visibly pregnant. He came to her then and wrapped his arms around her from behind, one hand sliding to her belly. Rubbing it gently, he dropped a kiss on her neck. “I see what I’ve done to you, love. Knocked you up right and proper.”

Buffy turned slightly in his arms. Just enough to kiss him. “Don’t tell me you aren’t as pleased as punch about that, either.”

“How was I to know I was a walking advert for fertility?” He chuckled.

“One time and I get pregnant. I can hardly believe it myself. I mean, who would have thought it?”

“I do remember somebody saying it wasn’t the right time of the month.”

“Well, I didn’t realize that you had super charged sperm, able to seek out an egg and leap any obstacle in its path to fertilize it.” She stroked his handsome face softly. “You do realize after our mini-Giles gets born, we’re going to have to use about four kinds of birth control to make sure we don’t have a kid every year, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” he told her. “You are absolutely gorgeous when you’re in the club. Who’d have thought I’d be a dad at my age?”

“One baby at a time, Sweetie. Now, is everything ready for tonight?”

“Goose is roasting as we speak, ham is sliced and awaiting consumption, all side dishes present and accounted for. As far as I can see, all we need are the guests.”

“I hope everybody makes it here on time.”

“Don’t worry, my love, everything will go smoothly, I’m sure.”

The first guests arrived within fifteen minutes. Dawn, home from school for the holidays, bounded into the living room shaking off snow. “Gosh, it’s cold!”

Giles smiled at her and helped her off with her coat. He returned her hug and sent her into the kitchen to see her sister who was double checking their supplies. He heard the two young women squeal with glee at the sight of one another and couldn’t help chuckling.

“Buffy, you’re as big as a house!”

“I am not! It’s just one little baby. Giles says you can barely tell I’m pregnant.”

“Trust me on this, he’s lying! It looks like you’ve got four of them in there.”

He beat a hasty path to the kitchen. Hoping to salvage something from his blunt young sister-in-law’s flapping tongue.

“Now, love. She’s just jealous,” he soothed a distraught Buffy. “You look lovely and only a tiny little bit pregnant.”

Buffy’s lip quivered. “Are you sure?”

He held her from behind so he could shoot daggers at Dawn with his eyes. “Of course. Dawn was only teasing, weren’t you, Dawn?”

She finally got the message. “Oh, sure. I’m sorry Buffy. It just seems so odd to see you like this. I mean, a year ago you were so skinny you looked ill and now,” her hands formed a hump over her belly. “It really looks good on you.”

Buffy smiled again. “I guess I do look a little different. Blame Giles. He makes me eat all the time. I even have to take prenatal vitamins that are as big as horse pills.”

“How do you feel, though?”

“I feel great. Well, my feet swell a little if I’m on them too long and my back has started aching but Giles rubs it for me. Other than that, I’m doing pretty good.”

Giles rolled his eyes at the younger girl. He’d tell her about the mood swings, the strange cravings, and the forty trips a day to the bathroom, later.

Dawn hid a grin. “Is there anything I can help with? I brought presents for everybody, but they had to be small so I could carry them all. They’re in my pack.”

“Why don’t we go put them under the tree with the rest of the gifts?” Giles gave his wife a kiss and left her in the kitchen while he and her sister went to explore the gift situation more thoroughly.

Dawn retrieved the pack and they set the various gifts out carefully. “So, what’s the what Giles?”

“She’s a tad moody since the pregnancy started showing, Dawn. Please don’t comment on her size which disturbs her greatly. Don’t mention Angel or Spike, Wesley, Cordelia, Tara, Joyce or your father, the pillock. Don’t talk about Riley, the Hellmouth, Slaying, or training. Any of them will set her off on a crying binge. Her hormones have played havoc with her, I’m afraid, made quite a bit worse by her Slayer genetics. She’ll weep over a greeting card these days.”

“Poor Giles. What can I safely talk about?”

“The baby, her work, my work, the house, or the horses have all been marginally safe lately. Talk about your school work and if you’ve met any boys. That should be all right. Willow and Xander will be arriving soon, which will help her enormously. She misses everyone so very much.”

Dawn nodded. “She always was possessive over her people.”

“Any word from your father?”

“He sent me a card. He still doesn’t approve of Buffy’s marriage and says he won’t talk to her till she comes to her senses. He really is a very stupid man.”

“Don’t mention that to Buffy. She’s very angry with him for his attitude towards me.”

“It was the shock of it, that’s all. I saw him last month when he popped over from Madrid. He asks about her all the time.”

“Pillock! If he really cared he’d come see her.”

“He just wigs at the idea that his baby is married to a man nearly as old as he is. Give it some time.”

~*~

Ethan put the disc on pause while he went to the bathroom, got another drink, and made himself a sandwich. So far, the spell had worked marvelously. He was able to feel like he was actually at Rupert’s home, participating in his Christmas festivities. It had been many years since he’d had a home of his own for such things. In fact, the last Christmas he had celebrated had been with Rupert, Deirdre, Phillip, Thomas, and Randall. All dead now except himself and Rupert. He sighed for the memory of things long gone and turned the computer back on.

~*~

Willow and Xander had arrived within minutes of each other. Much hugging and laughter ensued and Buffy had one small crying jag that she assured everyone was just because she was so happy that everyone was home for Christmas. Dawn headed Xander off at the pass when he would have made some comment about the baby and managed to convey to the two friends the topics that Giles had said were strictly off limits while Buffy took their coats to the back room.

Xander grinned. “Taking this baby thing pretty seriously is she?”

“You have no idea.” Giles grinned happily at the young man.

“Good. Now, let’s talk baby names. Alexander is a perfectly good name for a baby and really versatile too. Um, stay away from dork names like Lavelle, though, OK?”

“We’ll restrain ourselves somehow,” Giles retorted snidely.

Willow grinned at her friends. “I like plant names, myself. Now if you had a little girl, Willow is a nice name all the way around.”

Buffy came back into the room. “Don’t even try, guys. Do you know what names he had picked out?”

They were almost afraid to ask. But Xander bravely broke the ice. “What were they? Rupertina? Bullwinkle? Something really awful?”

“He wanted Humphrey for a boy and Marline for a girl.” She shuddered.

“Well, excuse me for not wanting my child to go through life with a name that rhymes with Muffy, Fluffy, and Puffy.”

Buffy looked at him through narrowed eyes and put her hands on her hips. Uh Oh. All that was needed to complete the Buffy Bad Mood Pose was a slight tip to her head. Sure enough, she moved her head sideways and studied all of them carefully. “My child will be named Katherine if it’s a girl and Robert if it’s a boy. Nice, normal names for a nice, normal child.”

Giles tipped his own head sideways. “There is nothing wrong with the name Humphrey! I concede that Marline might be a bit over the top for a small child.”

“Humphrey the hungry hippo. Humphrey hammer head. Humping Humphrey. There is no way I’m subjecting my baby to that!” Buffy told him soundly.

Dawn had stepped back holding her sides from trying not to laugh. “Why don’t you call the kid Robert Humphrey and Katherine Marline. Those actually sound like pretty good names to me.”

Rupert and Buffy turned to her, surprised. “I guess they do sort of sound OK,” Buffy conceded.

“Yes, they are rather euphonious.”

The others looked at him. “They sound nice,” he clarified. Eight years with these people had made him a translation specialist.

“So, when is the actual due date again?” Willow asked more as a peace gesture than because she didn't know.

Buffy rubbed her lower back. “New Year's day. I'm hoping he won't take after me and be late.”

“Are you going to go back to work after the baby is born?” Xander asked her, somehow seeming to channel Anya for a moment.

Buffy's lower lip quivered. “I can't go back to Slaying with the baby, but Rupert says I can teach the occasional class to the new Slayers.”

“You'll like that,” Willow said comfortingly.

“I never, ever thought my life would turn out like this. Before I was Called, I figured I would be some sort of career woman. Not that I had any particular career in mind, but I thought I'd get some cool job that let me get rich and then I'd marry a handsome man and everything would be great.” She giggled. “I only got some of that right. I did marry a handsome man and everything is great.”

Giles leaned over and put his arm around her shoulders. “I appreciate the thought, love, even if it's less than accurate.”

“It's totally accurate, Giles. Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and as long as I'm doing the beholding, I get to say who's handsome.”

“Ah, well, perhaps you're correct. I know I certainly came out ahead. I have a wife I love dearly and a baby on the way, good friends and a job that actually means something. Controlling the Council's assets is rather fun, as well.”

Willow nodded. “Nice to have enough money finally. All those years in Sunnydale when we could have used the extra cash...” she shook her head. “Why didn't the Council support its people better?”

Giles cast a glance at Buffy to see how she was taking the mention of Sunnydale. Since she seemed momentarily all right, he answered. “Disposable assets, Willow. They educated me and paid me a nominal salary. I suppose they felt that they had done enough.”

“Not nearly!” Buffy was looking grumpy. “They could have given me a clothing allowance at the very least. I should itemize everything that was destroyed because I was a Slayer. I could have a new wardrobe!”

“We bought you a whole new wardrobe when the baby...manifested itself,” Giles said. An obvious attempt to avoid saying when her size had increased due to the pregnancy.

Her lip quivered. “It's not the same thing!”

He came and put an arm around her. “Why don't we have a nice cup of tea and let the others tell us about their trips?”

Thankfully, Buffy let herself be distracted.

Giles made decaf tea for them all in deference to Buffy not being allowed to drink the stimulant. Xander entertained them with stories about traveling through Africa looking for Slayers.

Willow told them about working with the Devon witches and recruiting promising young magic users to the cause. “I found a boy who has a lot of potential. His folks are religious and keep trying to beat the devil out of him. I arranged for him to run away. He's under the care of the coven now.”

“Very good. I'm assuming precautions have been taken to prevent his parents from finding him?”

“Oh, yeah. His fingerprints and eye color were altered by magic. He has a different hair cut, new clothes and he's actually getting some good nutrition for a change. I doubt his parents would recognize him if he stood next to them in a crowded elevator.”

Dawn talked about her courses at the University and the boys she was dating. Buffy looked at her with a smile. “If any of them get too frisky, let me know.”

“Please! Like I can't take care of myself after all this time?” She rolled her eyes. “Besides, they're going to be scared of my nine months pregnant sister, not.”

“I could make them afraid,” Buffy said with a narrowing of her eyes.

Giles was making frantic hand gestures behind Buffy's back to change the subject.

“Uh, yeah. Um, I really like my chemistry class. I get to measure out stuff that isn't spell related. Kind of different.”

Buffy looked at her for a few moments before deciding that she'd let it go. It was Christmas, after all. She stood up. “I'll be right back, guys.”

The others looked at Giles. “Bathroom. She's up to about forty trips a day. The baby is resting directly on her bladder at this stage.”

“Poor Buffy!” Willow said sympathetically. “She seems a little moody.”

“Moody!” Giles replied with stark wonder in his voice. “I had no idea there were so many ways a human could express dissatisfaction.”

Just then, they heard Buffy shout for Giles. He sighed and stood up.

“Coming, Buffy!”

He got to the bathroom to find Buffy standing in a puddle of water.

“Ah, didn't quite make it in time?” he offered bravely.

“No. My water broke. I think I'm in labor!”

“Buffy you aren't due for another week!”

“Tell that to your son or daughter because I don't think they care!”

At her direction, he mopped up the mess and helped her get cleaned up. “OK, now, go get my suitcase. It's all packed. Then, give the doctor a call.” She marched downstairs.

“Well, I guess my tradition of bad parties is holding true. I've got to go to the hospital and have this baby now.” She didn't look particularly upset at the thought of finally not being pregnant any longer.

“But, what about dinner?” Dawn asked her.

“Somebody will have to stay here and take care of it. Giles can drive me to the hospital. The rest of you guys should stay here and, uh.” She bent over slightly as the first cramps hit her.

Giles came tearing down the stairs carrying her bag in time to see her clutch her belly. “Are you all right?”

“The contractions started.”

Dawn and Willow stayed behind to put away the Christmas dinner, while Xander drove Buffy and Giles to the hospital. Willow promised that as soon as the food was put away, they'd be there too.

They arrived at the hospital. Giles was nearly in a panic, though he looked outwardly calm. He had a mild moment of outrage when the doctor mistook Xander for Buffy's husband and himself as her father, but got over it when Buffy had another contraction.

They got her settled in the room she would deliver in, barring complications. It was a very nice, normal looking room that had been decorated to soothe and to distract the mother from the hospital environment. The medical staff wouldn't let Giles and the others into the room until they had suited up in medical scrubs, caps and booties. Xander swore he wouldn't stay through the entire birth, just popping in long enough to comfort Buffy, but he saw how shaken Giles was and stayed with his hand resting on the larger man's shoulder.

Willow and Dawn arrived about half an hour later. Willow sat by the other side of the bed and talked calmly to Buffy telling her that this was a beautiful experience and she was so happy to be there to share it with her, wiping her forehead after each contraction. To her dismay, Dawn found she couldn't bear to stay in the room while her sister was in such pain.

Giles sat on Buffy's right side and held her hand when she wasn't having contractions. He reached into her bag and pulled out the steel bar they had sanitized for just this purpose. The medical staff frowned at it, but Giles explained that Buffy was very strong and he wanted her to have something to hold on to. After her grip on the metal bed frame left the impression of her fingers in it, they stopped arguing.

The baby came three hours later, the longest three hours of Giles' life, he thought. Buffy had come through like a trooper, though the labor had been mercifully brief. He didn't know if it was Slayer strength or stamina or just Buffy's indomitable will, but the baby practically shot out with minimal pushing from her. The doctors did various medical tests on the child, checking breathing and heart rate and other such things before handing him to his father.

Giles looked down at his son in awe. He was so beautiful, so tiny yet complete. His fingers and toes had the same conformations that Giles' own did, yet he thought the child's coloring belonged more to Buffy.

“He's a big one!” the nurse said proudly. “25 inches, nine pounds on the dot. Looks like he might take after his dad.”

Giles held his son and felt frightened, protective, proud, happy, and worried. “Buffy? Look at our son.”

He held the baby up to his wife. She opened her tired eyes. “He's beautiful, Rupert. Big as a horse, but beautiful.”

Laying the baby in her arms, he felt tears running down his cheeks. “I never thought to have this, you know. A wife, a son; I have been blessed.”

“We both have, Ru.” She kissed the top of the baby's head. “Though, I'm thinking I'd like it to be a while before we get blessed again. This was one honkin' big baby.”

He grinned down at her. “And just think, he was early.”

She shuddered at the thought of how large her child might have been had she been able to hold out another week. “I seriously need to get back in shape. Will you set up a training routine for me?”

“There's no need to rush things, love.”

“Says the guy who wasn't carrying around a kid that's nearly big enough to drive. I'm not going to turn into one of those women whose boobs touch her waistband, Giles.”

He snorted into his hand and turned away, shoulders shaking. “Really, Buffy,” he replied in a choked voice, “I don't think there's much danger of that.”

She rolled her eyes, waiting for him to stop laughing.

“Will you be all right here tonight? I can get a cot sent up for me,” he told her.

“You don't have to stay.”

“I want to. I don't want to let either of you out of my sight for even a second, just in case this all turns out to be a dream.”

Buffy just smiled softly and let him slip the baby from her arms, watching him cradle the infant against his chest before sleep took her gently away.

~*~

Ethan reached out and hit the stop button. “Not a dream, old man. Not for you, at least.” He sighed. His last friend in the world had finally moved on. Rupert had a wife and family now and that put him out of Ethan's 'fair to attack' category. As a Chaos mage, Ethan didn't have many morals left, but Rupert was out of the game now, at least as far as he was concerned. He sighed again, wondering if things could have gone differently in his own life, surprised to feel a slight envy for his old friend's domestic bliss. “Ah well,” he stood up, stretching and popping his joints after so long in front of the screen, “tomorrow is a new day, and there's always plenty of mischief to be caused somewhere in the world. Maybe I'll look up those Initiative berks...hmmm. Yes, some payback is definitely called for.” He went up to bed smiling. It was good to be him.

END