Title: Getting Professional Help
Author: Sweetdoggie
Email: (stirling_summer@yahoo.com)
Pairing: B/G
Rating: G
Summary: Ruperts gets some advice from an old friend
Spoilers: Up to mid-season 5
Disclaimer: No permission has been granted to use the characters. They are owned by their creator, Joss Whedon, Twentieth Century Fox, UPN, WB, and Mutant Enemy. This story is non-profit and is intended solely as entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: BtVS/Frasier cross over. I thought this was too good an opportunity to pass up.

On a whim, Rupert Giles, former Sunnydale High librarian and Watcher to the current Slayer, had packed a bag and caught a flight to Seattle to see his old school friend, Frasier Crane. Frasier was an eminent psychiatrist and could, perhaps, help shed some light on his problems with Buffy. He would have to be careful, of course, because Frasier didn’t know about the supernatural element of the world they lived in and Rupert was not anxious to enlighten him.

“Why don’t you simply tell her how you feel, Rupert?” Frasier asked with a slight smile.

Giles sighed and ran his hand through his hair, eyes meeting the psychiatrist’s. “Its not that simple, my friend. I’m deeply afraid that if I explained how I feel, she wouldn’t have anything to do with me, and having her in my life, no matter the capacity, is all that keeps me going.”

The slightly balding, but still attractive man in the beautifully cut Italian suit nodded his head understandingly. “I’m sure you feel that way, Rupert, but it’s not a healthy relationship. You are doing yourself a great deal of harm by not admitting how you feel, not to mention, depriving this girl of her chance to express her own feelings for you.”

Giles snorted. “Oh, she’s expressed her feelings about me, plain enough over the years, Frasier. I’m ‘old and gross’ and the thought of me having any sexual drive at all gives her the ‘wiggins’.”

Frasier Crane smiled gently into his hand. “The wiggins? That sounds bad.”

“Yes. I gather that it incorporates a morass of negative feelings that are usually expressed with a heartfelt exclamation of ‘eeeeuw!’” He shook his head ruefully.

“Tell me the circumstances of her comments, Rupert.”

Giles explained that the worst of it had come when she had found him and Olivia in fairly compromising circumstances. “She was horrified! Absolutely horrified to think that I might actually find a woman attractive.”

Frasier nodded, not in agreement, but simply to signify his understanding of the situation. “Has she ever said anything else?”

“Oh, Lord, yes! Once, several years ago, a girl a bit younger than her expressed an opinion that I was not unattractive. I was given the eeeeuw treatment again. She spent the first two and a half years of our acquaintance complaining that I was dull, dressed badly, older than dirt, and a veritable textbook with arms. It was rather demoralizing.”

“Didn’t you tell me you were interested in a young teacher at your school a few years ago? I’m afraid I don’t remember her name. How did your girl take your interest in her?”

Giles frowned as he remembered Jenny. “She took it rather badly, but there were extenuating circumstances. Jenny wronged her deeply and precipitated a situation that eventually led to her own death. When I cut her acquaintance out of loyalty to Buffy, my darling girl sent her back to me. She wanted me to be happy, even if it took letting me associate with a woman she despised to do so.”

“I see.” Frasier put his hand on his chin and gently stroked his jaw. “Well, Rupert, it sounds to me as if your Buffy cares very deeply for you. She may very well be in love with you, but is repressing those feelings for a variety of reasons. It is likely that she doesn’t know herself how deeply she cares for you.”

“But what can I do, Frasier? I’m twenty years older than her. I was a teacher at her school. Her mother, whom I slept with under the influence of drugs, despises me. Her friends, while they think quite a lot of me, would, no doubt, faint should I express a romantic interest in her.”

The other man looked curious. “I thought you gave up drugs years ago?”

Rupert waved his hand casually. “I did. We were under the influence of candy that had been laced with something to lower inhibitions. I essentially reverted to the responsibility level I had when I was sixteen.”

Frasier shuddered at the thought. “And the mother? Were you attracted to her before the candy episode?”

“No. I’ve always thought she was simply an obstacle for Buffy to evade. The woman is blind to the realities of her daughter’s life. She resents me because I am so close to her daughter. I believe that she also suspects how I feel about Buffy. Without the drug, neither of us would have ever looked at the other.”

“Does Buffy know?” The psychiatrist asked carefully.

“Yes. She found out shortly thereafter. It was hideously embarrassing.”

“How did she react?”

“I actually came off fairly lucky in that. She acted amused and revolted, not angry, but it more or less put paid to anything developing between us.” He hit the table with his fist. “Every time we build a bit of closeness, something comes along that destroys it.”

“Give me an example.” Frasier demanded.

“She was learning to care about me when we first met. I know she was, I could see it in her eyes. Then she met her pillock of a boyfriend and pretty much left me in the dust. He hurt her so badly! She spent the next two years, loving him, hating him, mourning him. Her mother found out about Buffy’s er, calling, on the same night that he kidnapped and tortured me. Buffy saved me and um, got rid of him. I thought we were free of him, but he managed to come back all helpless and needy. She hid him and nursed him back to health. We had a terrible row when I found out. I was forced to accept him, though I never trusted the bastard again.”

“How did Buffy react when you were angry with her?” The other man probed.

“Badly. There were tears, a river of them. Then she avoided me, looked like a beaten dog around me for weeks. I could see I was going to lose her altogether, so I capitulated. I allowed her to see him, help him, even though I simply wanted to sneak to the mansion and um, stab him. It allowed us to grow back together and slowly heal the wounds between us. Then came her eighteenth birthday.” Giles paused, head in hand. “Actually, Angel returning came after her birthday, but I rank it as the second most injurious occurrence of our relationship.”

“What happened?”

“I betrayed her in a very injurious way. There’s no glossing over it. It was a betrayal that nearly led to her and her mother’s death. She was terrified. She kept asking me what was wrong; to please help her find answers, but I couldn’t since it was my doing. It was a very bad time for us. On top of everything else, her father stood her up for her traditional birthday date and she asked me to take her, but I didn’t want to go as a father substitute so I snapped at her to pay attention to her duties and ignored her as best I could. The long and short of it: she survived, but found out what I had done. I was fired from the Council. I actually think that was the only thing that saved us. I promised I would never leave her and that seems to be something she values.”

“Why is that, do you suppose?” Frasier asked casually disturbed to hear a mention of the Council after all these years. Once the mystery organization had featured large in Rupert’s fantasies.

“All the men in her life leave her. Her idiotic father, Angel, her one-night stand with a pillock named Parker, Riley her latest boy toy, even myself in a fashion.”

“How so?”

“I should have done more for her. Stood by her, protected her more. Her mother is quite ill and its sapping Buffy’s strength, her will. She has to take care of her little sister and deeply resents it, as well. Perhaps I could relieve that burden somewhat.”

“Don’t you think you are taking on a rather lot of responsibility for someone who is merely a former teacher to this girl?” Frasier said concerned.

“I love her. Have done since she was a child. I want to protect her but I’m helpless to do so.” Giles was rueful. “Besides, I’m rather closer to her than just any teacher.

“How does she treat you now?” Frasier asked him.

“Like I’m a familiar old shoe—too comfortable to discard completely but not really of any use to her anymore.”

“What about her latest boyfriend? What was his name? Riley? You believe she still loves him?”

Giles sighed. “I don’t know, Frasier. She simply won’t say, but I suspect not. I believe she misses being in love and he was a decent chap who loved and wanted her so she took him. I never believed there was any great depth of feeling involved on her part.”

“Rupert, in my opinion, you have a serious problem. Your Buffy sounds like she’s only a hair’s breadth from snapping completely. I’d like to come down to Sunnydale and look the situation over myself.”

Rupert looked alarmed. He had known Frasier since their days at Oxford, but the man knew nothing of the real life of a Watcher. He was totally ignorant of Buffy’s role as the Slayer. If he came to Sunnydale, he would have to be told. It was a tricky situation. He hesitated for a few moments before looking up. “If you come to Sunnydale, there are some things you need to be aware of.” He began revealing the real facts of life to the startled man. He explained about Watchers and Slayers and the true nature of the earth and the beings that walked upon it. When he was done, Frasier leaned over and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Rupert.” He paused. “You need help, my friend. None of that is real. There are no vampires, no demons, no Slayers and no Watchers. I think your unrequited love for this girl has driven you to build a fantasy where you can act a hero. I saw the beginnings of this delusion when we were young men at Oxford. When your friend, Randal died, you talked about your destiny as a Watcher and the Council. You’ve built that up in your mind and have put Buffy at the pinnacle of your fantasy. You love her, but she is unattainable for you, so you make her this mythical character that is fated to die young so that when she leaves your life, you can replace her with the next girl. I don’t mean to be harsh; Rupert, but you need medical help. For the sake of our old friendship, let me help you.”

Rupert smiled grimly. “I knew you wouldn’t believe, but you had to be told. I’d like you to come to Sunnydale, Frasier. See it for yourself. See the sort of life my darling girl has lived since she turned fifteen.”

“And if I do that? Come to Sunnydale and see how you live and prove that there are no monsters lurking under the beds, will you allow me to help you? Get you the therapy and counseling you need?” Frasier asked him, deeply concerned.

Giles laughed. “If you can prove that, Frasier, you are more than a damned good psychiatrist, you’d be a miracle worker. Come down and stay with me for a week or two. I can promise you, it won’t be dull.”

Less than a month later Frasier had cleared his schedule and arranged to take two weeks of vacation from the radio station where he worked as an on-air therapist. His younger brother, Niles, thought he was prostituting his talent, but Frasier enjoyed his work, even if it occasionally drifted into the banal.

“I’m going to see an old school chum of mine from Oxford.” He told his father. “He’s having some rather serious personal problems and I’d like to help him out if I can.”

“You’re a good friend, Fraizh.” His dad said with a smile.

Frasier got in his car and began the 2-day drive down the coast to Sunnydale, California. He had made the trip to LA many times, so the route wasn’t that different. As he drove, he was able to take the time to ponder Rupert’s story. He thought about the man’s words and his conviction as he spoke about vampires and demons, about the one girl in all the world chosen to have the strength, skill, and speed to fight them.

He reflected on the unlikelihood of the whole thing and laughed sadly. Poor Rupert. He was a hugely gifted if tormented man. Frasier remembered how he had been at Oxford all those years ago. The deep interest in the occult, the scary and disreputable friends he had made, the mysterious death of the one of the young men who associated with the group, and how very broken Rupert had been for months afterwards.

Now Frasier realized that the situation had not resolved itself as he had thought at the time. Rupert had not healed, he had, instead developed a brilliantly insane fantasy world that would let him exculpate himself from his friend’s death. He had peopled his world with creatures worse than he saw himself to be and had placed his friend Buffy at the heart of his fantasy. He wondered if the girl even knew how she was supposed to feature in the other man’s world. Of course Rupert would see the men she dated as creatures of darkness. It gave him an excuse to hate them.

He thought about what he would do when he reached Sunnydale. Rupert had insisted that he stay with him because ‘hotels weren’t safe’. Frasier had agreed, not due to any belief that vampires were going to eat him if he stayed in a hotel, but because Rupert clearly needed him to be as close by as he could be. His first move, he decided, would be to meet Buffy and the other children that featured so prominently in Rupert’s fantasy. He would look the situation over, maybe even confide his fears to Buffy if she seemed level-headed and willing to help.

He pulled his car to a stop in front of a modest condominium. This was the address Rupert had given him. He surveyed the building. Nice enough, he supposed, in a subdued middle-class fashion. Personally, he preferred something a bit more posh, as his British friend would say. He wondered why Rupert lived here. He was wealthy and could have had any kind of dwelling he wanted. Why settle for this? Frasier decided it was probably part of his fantasy. A rich eccentric would draw attention, while a mild-mannered shopkeeper would not. He shook his head. Poor Rupert.

He hopped out of his car and found the apartment number. He knocked and waited when he heard footsteps inside approaching the door. It opened shortly to a beautiful blonde young woman. She was tiny, he noted. Somehow from Rupert’s stories he had assumed she would be bigger.

“You must be Buffy Summers?” He asked in his cultured voice.

“Uh huh. Who are you?” She stood blocking the door carefully with her body.

“I’m Frasier Crane. I’m a friend of Rupert’s from Oxford.” He smiled down at her.

“You’re not British.” She stated emphatically.

“No. I’m from Seattle, but I was educated in England.”

Without turning, she yelled “Giles! You have company.” She stepped back and let the door swing open, but didn’t actually invite him inside.

Ignoring her rude behavior, he stepped across the threshold. She seemed to relax briefly at his actions. Rupert came up behind Buffy and put his hand on her shoulder. “Glad you could come, Frasier. I’d like to introduce you to Buffy Summers, a very dear friend of mine.”

Buffy looked up over her shoulder at her Watcher, charmed with his introduction. She smiled and Frasier was amazed at how it lit the room around her. He could easily see why his old chum was smitten with this young woman. She held her hand out to the psychiatrist.

“Pleased to meet you.” She grinned.

He took her hand in his and bent over it slightly bringing it to his lips. “Enchante’” He murmured.

She looked at Giles questioningly but he simply patted her shoulder. “Really, Frasier. Trying to steal my Buffy away already?”

Buffy blushed at Giles’ implication that she belonged to him in a romantic way, but strangely wasn’t totally wigged by the thought. Instead, she felt warm and cared for and safe. She liked the feeling.

Rupert continued to stare down at her. “You really must watch out for Frasier, dear girl. He’s always been quite the ladies man and apparently hasn’t lost his touch.”

Frasier laughed. “Well, that’s certainly the pot calling the kettle black.” He let the pair usher him into the living room of the small apartment noting the exotic titles on the books, the pair of quarterstaffs leaning in a corner, and the crossbow sitting on the coffee table. “Interesting décor, Rupert.”

The Watcher smiled, quite sure of the thoughts running through his friend’s head. “I like it.” Was his restrained comment.

Giles went to the kitchen to prepare a pot of tea and some snacks and let Buffy get to know his old friend privately.

“So, ah, you’ve known Rupert for a while, I gather?” Frasier asked.

“Yeah, since I was sixteen. I’m twenty now.” She added.

“Quite a bit younger than Rupert.” He commented to get her reaction.

She looked at him, surprised. “I guess I don’t think about the age difference all that much anymore. I mean, I know he’s older than me, but he’s also my best friend in the world. I’m not going to let a few extra birthdays interfere with that.”

“A commendable attitude, I’m sure.” He comforted. “Rupert seems quite fond of you, as well.”

“Well, we have a special bond.” Buffy said with a grin.

I know he, uhm, watches over you.” Frasier tested the waters.

“That’s his job.” She said with a shrug.

“I’m sure it’s more than a job to Rupert.” Frasier protested.

“Yeah, it’s a calling.” Buffy said morosely.

“That’s how he sees it, I’m sure.”

Buffy looked at him narrowly. “He sees it that way because it is that way.”

Rupert looked over the partition from the kitchen to the living room. “Buffy, dear, could you give me a hand with this tray.”

She jumped up and went to him with alacrity. “Sure, Giles.” She took the loaded tray. “You know, your friend seems a little, uh, odd.”

Giles smiled. “He’s a psychiatrist. It’s just his way.”

“If you knew him in college, did he run with Ethan and that crowd?” She asked concerned.

“Frasier? Good Lord, no. He was a model of propriety. After, after Eyghon, he helped me get myself back. He’s a bit full of himself, but he’s really a very kind man.” He paused for a moment. “I told him about being a Watcher and how things are. I don’t think he believed me.”

She turned her head on the side. “So, he knows I’m the Slayer?”

“He knows I think you are the Slayer.” Giles grinned.

“So, how do you want to play this?” She asked with a smile.

“I’ve told him the truth. I’d say it’s up to him to make up his mind. We just need to keep him safe while he visits us.”

“Can do, Watcher-mine.” She wanted to hug him, but the tray in her hands prevented her.

Together they walked back into the living room. Frasier was struck by how right they looked together. He thought that Buffy, whether or not she was in love with Rupert, most certainly loved him. He watched the big man guide her tenderly to the sofa and remove the tray from her hands. She smiled up at him. Frasier was amazed. The look they shared was as intimate a gesture as anything he had ever seen and these two weren’t even lovers. He decided to go with a bold approach.

“So, Buffy, what do you do?” Frasier questioned softly.

Her gaze was as limpid as a pool of rainwater. “I’m a college student.” She grinned as some hidden thought crossed her mind. “When I have time.”

He sipped the cup of tea Rupert handed him and looked at her quizzically. “When you have time?”

“Yeah, you know, when I’m not busy saving the world from its latest apocalypse.” She liked the startled look on his face.

A, apocalypse? I see. Uhm, have you done that often?” He tried to sound urbane and unruffled.

She shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know.” She looked at Giles. “What are we up to now on apocalypse thwarting? Five or Six?”

Rupert pursed his lips and thought about it. “I would say it would depend on if you count the Master’s attempts as one or several.”

Frasier cleared his throat. “Who is the Master?”

“Was.” Buffy corrected. “He’s dust now.”

Frasier waved off her correction. “Was, then.”

“He was a Master vampire, head of his line. Very powerful and evil. He drowned me when I was sixteen.” Buffy bit into a cookie.

Frasier looked back and forth between his old friend and the girl. “So you believe in this vampire nonsense too?”

Buffy looked amused. “I thought Giles filled you in.”

“He told me of his delusion that vampires and demons walk the earth. I’m sorry, but I won’t humor you. It’s a complete load of rubbish.” He spoke briskly.

“Most people think that till they have an encounter of the undead kind. Mostly. If they live, I mean.” She shrugged.

“How can you believe such nonsense?”

“I came into this life when I was fifteen.” She told him. “I saw my first Watcher murdered in front of me. A very old vampire took a stake and pushed it very slowly into his chest. I couldn’t stop it.” She was silent for a minute. “I dusted him later, though.”

“Dusted?” Frasier asked curiously.

“I took a flag pole, broke it in half and rammed the pointy end through his heart. It was very satisfying.” She grinned and Frasier noted it had a cruel edge.

Frasier shook his head. “I simply don’t believe this. Rupert has had this, this infection of the mind for years, and now, he has passed his tainted beliefs onto you.”

Rupert and Buffy looked at each other and laughed. “I’m sorry, Frasier. We live in this world, day and night and it’s difficult for us to comprehend that there are people out there who don’t comprehend its nature.”

Buffy stood and looked out the window. “It’s nearly full dark, Giles, can I use your phone?”

He waved her to it and both men watched her thought with quite different looks on their faces.

“Willie? This is the Slayer. Yeah, whatever. I want to know if Spike and Clem are there tonight. OK. Good. Put him on.” She waited a minute. “Spike, it’s Buffy. Could you drop by Giles’ place this evening and bring Clem if you know where he is. No, not another apocalypse. I want somebody to meet you. OK, thanks.” She hung up the phone and turned to the men.

“Spike will go find Clem and be by in an hour or so.” She glanced at Rupert and smiled. “In the mean time, why don’t I fix us some supper?”

Giles nodded. “Do you want me to help?”

“No, I know my way around your kitchen. You guys sit out here and commune or whatever till I call you. You might want to give the rest of the gang a call though.” She smiled at them and stepped into the tiny room.

She looked in Giles’ cupboards and refrigerator and brought out ingredients for a salad, home made biscuits, and brownies for desert. Soon, delicious smells were wafting out of the kitchen. Giles breathed them in deeply. He loved when Buffy cooked for him. It wasn’t that she was a particularly good cook; she knew how to prepare three or four things and showed no inclination to learn anything else. No, that wasn’t it. It was the fact that she did it for him that made her efforts special.

“Rupert, you must see that what you have done to this child is wrong. There is no such thing as the Slayer and for you to make her believe that she is one can only end in tragedy.”

Giles sighed. “All Slayers die young, Frasier. My Buffy has already died once.”

“You both said that, but if she died, how can she be alive now?”

“A young friend of ours followed her the night the Master drowned her. He revived her with CPR. Buffy came back in time to save us all as the Master intended to open the mouth of Hell and bring death and destruction upon all mankind.”

“What happened to the Master?” Frasier asked concerned.

“Oh, he and Buffy fought. She knocked him through a skylight and he landed on a broken bit of wood. As Buffy would say, she dusted him.”

“But that’s murder!”

“No, it wasn’t. The man that the Master was, died centuries ago. All that was left was his body animated by a demon. Buffy freed him.”

There was a knock at the front door. The psychiatrist saw his friend check the light coming through the window before answering. He had to admit, as a delusion, this one was of the most complete he had ever seen. Not only had Rupert slipped completely into the fantasy, he had managed to pull that sweet young girl into his world.

Giles opened the door and ushered in three young women and one young man all about Buffy’s age. They greeted Rupert enthusiastically with hugs from all the girls and a back slap from the man. They fell into step behind Rupert and eyed the stranger sitting on his couch with suspicion.

“Frasier, I’d like you to meet my friends. Xander, Anya, Tara, and Willow.” The children all nodded at the man. Giles continued speaking. “Frasier is an old friend from my college days. I invited him down to Sunnydale to spend a couple of weeks of vacation. He knows I’m the Watcher and that Buffy is the Slayer.”

Frasier was amazed at how the expressions on these children relaxed immediately at Rupert’s explanation.

The boy, Xander, came up to him holding out his hand. “So, you knew the G-man back when, huh?”

Frasier looked to Rupert for an explanation. “Xander, I believe I have asked you repeatedly not to call me that. Perhaps I should have Willow turn you into a newt till you can remember it.”

Willow giggled. “You know with my magical abilities, Giles, I’d probably turn him into a puppy and then you’d have to paper-train him.”

“Hey!” Xander said in protest.

The girl called Anya took Xander’s arm protectively. “Nobody is turning my Xander into anything. I may be an ex-vengeance demon, but I still have contacts, you know.”

Everyone reassured the girl that they had just been kidding. Frasier looked at the so-far silent and shy Tara. “And you, my dear? Do you have a magic talent of some sort?”

She nodded. “I’m a witch too.”

Frasier snorted. “I’m assuming you mean as a religious persuasion. Witchcraft—the magical practice of such is simply nonsense.” He turned to his friend. “Have you corrupted all these children, Rupert?”

Xander looked at Giles. “I thought you said he was in the know?”

“He doesn’t believe me, I’m afraid. Thinks I have a delusion and live in a fantasy.” Giles explained.

Xander laughed. “And he didn’t think a guy as smart as you could come up with a better fantasy?”

“Well, I am surrounded by beautiful young women, so it’s not a total loss.” Giles joked.

They all laughed and Buffy stuck her head out of the kitchen at the sound. “Hey, guys!”

“Hey!” “It’s the Buffster!” “Hi, Buffy.” The easy camaraderie seemed entirely comfortable to Frasier. Clearly these people knew and liked each other very much. There was another knock at the door and they all stepped back taking defensive positions around the room. Giles went to the door and looked out the peephole.

“Ah, Spike and Clem.” He opened the door and let the vampire and demon enter.

Frasier nearly leapt backwards when he caught sight of the demon. It was hideous with droopy skin all over its body and ears that hung down like a beagle’s. Immediately, he was ashamed of his reaction. Whatever was wrong with this poor man, he wasn’t a demon. He calmly stood and shook his hand when introduced, resisting the impulse to wipe it off on his pants after. The psychiatrist looked at the blond man questioningly. He was somewhat older that the children, yet not Rupert’s age. He smiled when Buffy entered the room and Frasier noticed that his eyes followed her as she called them to come get food.

The blond man was given a glass of something red. He thanked her quietly. “So, what’s up, Buffy? If it’s not an emergency apocalypse, why the summons to the Bat Cave?”

Buffy grinned at his phrasing. “Frasier doesn’t believe in vampires and demons. He thinks Giles is delusional. I thought a visual aid might help.”

Everyone had grabbed a plate and silverware as if this was a long established routine and had piled their plates high with salad, sandwiches, biscuits, marmalade, chips, and dips. Frasier, not wanting to be the odd man out, had done likewise, but he was appalled at the conditions.

Buffy looked over at Frasier. “Are you starting to believe yet?”

He shook his head. “You poor child. You need help. All of you do.”

Giles snorted into his tea. “Look Frasier, I wouldn’t have invited you if I thought you would be this obtuse. Willow and Tara are Witches—actual magic using practitioners with powers beyond normal man. Anya is a 1200-year-old ex-vengeance demon, Buffy is of course the Slayer. He looked around. Clem is a Tholat demon. Spike is a vampire.”

Frasier rolled his eyes. “Oh, really? And what is young Xander then? The Grand Poobah?”

“No. Xander is an excellent carpenter.” Giles said with a nod at his bookcase. “He built those for me when my previous set was accidentally destroyed.”

Frasier looked at Spike. His story would no doubt be the easiest to disprove. “So, you’re a vampire?”

“Yeah.” The blond man spoke without much interest. He was still watching Buffy.

“And how did you come by this condition?” Frasier asked.

Spike turned his cold blue eyes on the man. “I was bitten. She drained my blood out of me and when my heart was faltering, she made me drink her blood. It’s how it’s done.”

Frasier shuddered. “I see. And so, you must believe you are very old. Aren’t all vampires supposed to be old?”

Spike shrugged. “I was turned in 1880. That’s only middling really. Angelus, my Grandsire is about 245. His sire, Darla was about a hundred years older than that. The Master, the elder of our line, was about fifteen hundred give or take a century. Still, I’ve known blokes older than that. Drucilla, the vampire that made me, is only about thirty years older.”

“I don’t understand why you have all fallen into Rupert’s fantasy.” Frasier shook his head.

“Oh, for God’s sake!” Spike growled. He took three steps towards the psychiatrist and grabbing his shirt, vamped out in front of him. He smiled when the man shrieked and fainted.

They revived Frasier and spent the next forty-five minutes calming him down. “I can’t believe it.” He repeated this half a dozen times. “How? How can the world be like this and nobody know about it?”

“Plenty of people know about it.” Spike said. “There’s the Watchers, their families, the Slayers-in-waiting, all the magic users, Wiccas, sorcerers, people like Ethan Rayne, half of this bleedin’ town, God knows who else.”

“The Initiative.” Willow murmured.

“Yeah. That means a bureaucracy knows about it.” The vampire snorted. “Half the world then.”

“There’s the demons, and half-bloods.” Clem added helpfully. “Lots of us marry humans, so they’d know too.”

“Willie and lots of others like him.” Xander said. “He’s a barkeep and all-around weasel. He’d sell his mom for a buck.”

“All the vamps and the people they turn.” Added Tara.

“Riley, Oz, and Cordelia.” Willow threw in.

“Wesley, Gunn, Doyle, and Fred.” Buffy said sadly.

“The graduating class of 1999 Sunnydale High.” Giles said with a grin.

“The Swim team.” Xander shuddered.

Frasier held up his hands. “All right. I get the picture. Lots of people know. What I don’t understand is, why doesn’t everyone?”

Rupert turned to him with gleaming eyes and a huge grin. “Well, it’s supposed to be a secret.”

Everyone, including the shell-shocked psychiatrist laughed at that.

When the group settled down, Frasier asked them a few more questions. “How do you stand it? The fear must be constant. Knowing that things like vampires roam the night…I may never sleep easy again.”

Buffy patted his shoulder. “Wear a cross.”

“Carry Holy Water.” “Always have a stake handy.” “Keep away from places frequented by the undead.” “Don’t go into deserted alleys alone.” Everyone had a suggestion for his safety.

Giles leaned over. “Never, no matter what, invite people into your home after sundown. Always open the door and step back. A vampire can’t cross a threshold uninvited. That means it has to be verbal and explicit.”

“Not that explicit.” Spike said. “Pretty much any sort of implication that means ‘come in’ will do.”

The others noted that with nods of understanding. Frasier remembered how Buffy had greeted him at Rupert’s door earlier. It had still been daylight, but apparently old habits died hard. Hell, if he lived her life, he would never go outside again, he thought.

“So, ah, so how do you come to have a vampire as a friend?” He asked the group.

Spike snorted. “Not their bleedin’ friend. I’m still evil even if I can’t bite. Don’t any of you mugs forget that.”

“Don’t worry, Deadboy two. I’m not ever gonna forget.” Xander said.

Spike made his game face and leered at Xander before letting it recede to his human visage. Buffy felt this was the equivalent of sticking his tongue out at the human, but scarier.

She looked at Frasier. “A couple of years ago, we had a group come into town that was some secret branch of the military. They were headed up by a psychiatrist named Maggie Walsh.” She paused as a thought struck her. “Did you know her?”

Frasier thought for a minute. “Blond, forties, cold as ice?”

They all nodded. “Yes, I had met her at several conventions. I thought she could benefit from therapy herself. There was something very ‘off’ about her. I don’t think I’ve seen her recently though.”

“Well, you wouldn’t have.” Buffy told him. “She was totally whacked and was more than a few cards short of a deck. She was cutting up soldiers and demons and sewing the parts together. Theoretically, she was building a better soldier, but what she got, of course, was a better monster. Psycho bitch tried to kill me because I was dating her favorite project. Anyhow, she would send her soldier boys out to kidnap monsters. One night they got Spike, sent a few thousand volts through him and knocked him out. They implanted a behavior modification chip in his brain. He can’t harm humans but he’s still hell on the demons.”

“What happened to Dr. Walsh?” Frasier asked.

“Dead. Her lab experiment got loose and killed her.” Buffy shuddered. “Then it dug up her corpse and raised it as a pretty much mindless zombie. They had captured my boyfriend, Riley and were going to finish converting him into spare-parts boy. The gang,” she indicated Willow, Giles and Xander, “did a spell. It channeled their knowledge, magic, and strength of heart into me for a few minutes.” She grinned. “I kicked its butt.”

“Without Walsh feeding Riley her super drugs, he reverted to a normal human. He couldn’t handle that I was stronger and tougher than him. My mom got seriously ill about that time and I was worried sick about her. He got his nose out of joint because I couldn’t spend twenty-four/seven tending to his ego. I also couldn’t confide some Slayer business to him and it bugged the crap out of him.” She fell silent.

Xander took up the story. “It didn’t help when Dracula came to town and put the bite on the Buffster. He put the thrall on us. Made me eat bugs. It was horrible.”

Buffy took over again. “Anyhow, I was drawn to him. It was freaky. He had me taste his blood. Yuk! It snapped me out of the thrall thing, though, so maybe it was worth it. I staked him but I guess it takes more to kill that kind of vamp. He came back a couple of times more but I finally convinced him to go away. In the meantime, Riley and Giles had come looking for me. Giles fell into a trapped room and couldn’t get out and the Dracu-babes were going for him. They did the thrall thing and were getting ready for a munch fest, but Riley found him in time.”

“When we got out, Riley was all freaked about Dracula. He knew my first boyfriend had been a vamp and thought I had a thing for them. He was majorly jealous. Geez, he was even jealous of Giles.” She shook her head. “I tried to explain that Giles and I weren’t together like that, but he was so, so possessive. When I wasn’t paying enough attention to him, he went out and paid vampire women to suck his blood.” She shuddered. “I found out and he told me I had to forgive him or he was leaving that night to go back to the Initiative.” She shrugged. “He left.”

The psychiatrist in Frasier came to the fore. “So, would you have forgiven him, had he given you adequate time?”

“There isn’t enough time left for me to forgive him for that.” Buffy said quietly. “Besides, he tried to come between me and Giles and nobody is going to do that.”

Giles put his hand on her shoulder and she looked up into his eyes. They exchanged a look that totally shut the others in the room out. Frasier cleared his throat. “Ah, yes, well…so, Riley was correct in that you have feelings for Rupert?” He asked.

Buffy looked up, surprised. “No, not like that, well, not exactly, it’s hard to explain…maybe.” She finally said.

Nobody looked surprised except Giles and Buffy. Giles perked up like a dog on point. “What do you mean, Buffy?” Giles said in a low but vibrant voice.

“I, I dunno. I guess maybe I do have feelings for you that aren’t just Slayer/Watcherly sorts. I never thought about it before, well, much.” She was blushing, her cheeks as red as cherries.

“Oh, come on, Buffy!” Willow said. “We’ve known you loved Giles for years. We were just wondering how long it was going to be before the light went on in your attic.”

“I do?” Buffy looked shocked. “Tell me!”

Willow rolled her eyes. “Giles said, Giles did, Giles thinks, years of that, for one thing. Then how about the questions? Would Giles like this dress? Do you think Giles would like this music? Gee, I wish Giles were here, he’d like this. I don’t think I’ve had a conversation with you since we were kids that didn’t include fifteen or twenty references to Giles.” She paused for breath. “Do you remember how you described Angel to me? ‘He’s tall, maybe an inch taller than Giles. Good looking and broody, but I bet Giles is way smarter than him.’ And how about Riley? ‘He’s good in a fight, but Giles could take him so easy! You’ve compared every man you seriously liked to Giles and found them lacking.”

Buffy sat down, stunned by this revelation. “Xander? Did you see this?”

The young man grinned. “Oh, yeah. I knew you’d never be interested in me once I saw you around Giles. I mean, you guys are tuned in to each other. I tried to get your attention but it was always Giles and Deadboy.”

“How could I not know this?” Buffy demanded.

Spike chuckled. It was an eerie sound. “Have you asked your mum how she managed to miss you being the Slayer for two years? I’d say you come by it naturally, pet.”

Finally, Buffy looked up at Giles. “I guess they might be right. What do you think?”

He smiled down at her softly, ignoring their audience. “I think that I love you very much and if you are finally seeing me as a man, I might faint from happiness.”

She grinned up at him suddenly and it was as if a light had been switched on in the room. Frasier blinked as her happiness blazed off her like light from the sun. “So, I love you, you love me. I guess we need to talk.”

He resisted the urge to touch her, knowing he would sweep her into his arms if he did. “I guess we do. Would you allow me to take you to breakfast tomorrow?”

She nodded. “Breakfast would be great, but you have a guest.”

Frasier stood. “Don’t mind me. This is the sort of thing I live for. I’ve gotten two very nice presents tonight. I’ve learned that my old friend Rupert is not crazy and I’ve seen him begin to find the woman he loves. It’s a treat.”

“You can go out to breakfast with us.” Xander volunteered. “I’m sure Anya will provide you with many hours of interesting thoughts.” He chuckled.

Frasier looked interested. “So, what exactly is an ex-vengeance demon anyway?”

END