Title: Goodbye to You or Maybe Not
Author: Sweetdoggie
Email: stirling_summer@yahoo.com
Pairing: B/G
Rating: PG
Summary: Buffy finds out Giles intends to return to England
Spoilers: season 6
Disclaimer: No permission has been granted to use the characters. They are owned by their creator, Joss Whedon, Twentieth Century Fox, UPN, WB, and Mutant Enemy. This story is non-profit and is intended solely as entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.

Note: I would like to dedicate this story to my husband, Lane, who passed away while it was being betaed. He will be missed.

Sweetdoggie

She knew that whatever he wanted to talk to her about was bad. Probably as bad as it could get, she thought. Her dreams had been warning her for weeks that something that would decimate her was coming. He made her set down on the bench in the training room and then sat beside her.

“I know you’re probably wondering why I called you.” He looked at his hands. “I’ve decided to go back to England.” He looked up to see her reaction.

She felt his words buffet her soul. So this was it, the next blow that would crush her to dust. She had idly wondered what more could possibly be done to her, knowing that it would be something so awful that words wouldn’t be able to express her misery. She looked up at the man she had depended upon for the past six years.

“Ah,” she said without much expression in her voice.

He looked exasperated at her stoicism. “That’s it? I tell you I’m leaving and that’s all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say? That it will kill me to lose you? Because we know that’s not true. It will hurt me till my soul bleeds, but I won’t get to die from it.” She looked at him. “Do you want me to beg you to stay? Would it make the slightest difference if I did?”

He couldn’t meet her gaze. “No. My mind is made up. I’m simply holding you back by staying. It may not seem like it now, but it really is for your own good.”

“Of course,” she answered. “When do you leave?”

“My flight leaves at midnight tonight.”

“Ah.” She nodded looking back at her hands. She secretly marveled at how they looked like the hands of somebody who still had something to live for when she knew that simply wasn’t true.

“You don’t seem surprised,” he commented hesitantly.

“Slayer here, Giles. Prophetic dreams.”

“You knew I was leaving?” he sounded astonished.

She shrugged. “Knew something bad was coming. Just didn’t have the specifics down.”

“It’s for your own good,” he repeated. “You need to learn to stand on your own, make your own decisions, raise Dawn yourself. I can’t be there for you.”

She looked at him. “After you leave, I’m calling my dad and putting Dawn on a bus to LA. I’m going to sell the house and leave town myself. I’m not going to stay here any more.”

“Buffy!” He sounded shocked. “Dawn is your sister. She needs you. In addition to which, you have a sacred duty to protect the Hellmouth. You can’t leave.”

“You might want to contact the Watcher’s Council and tell them to get Faith out of prison.” She overrode his protests with her calm voice.

He turned towards her and grasped her shoulders. “You can’t leave,” he said slowly and distinctly.

“Yes. I can,” she replied. “You get to leave. You have a sacred duty to be my Watcher. I notice it’s not slowing you down any.” She looked at him. “I was your Slayer, Giles. I didn’t do this because of the Council. I did it for you. You’ve removed my last prop and guess what? I fell down.”

She laughed lightly. “In a way, this is a huge relief. I wondered for weeks what they were going to do to me next. I knew it would be a real humdinger though.”

“They?”

“You know, the Powers that Be,” she elucidated.

“Buffy, the Powers haven’t singled you out. You are their warrior. You are the Chosen One,” he told her patiently.

“Chosen for pain. Chosen to be always alone.” She shrugged. “It’s OK. I can deal. I always have.”

“Why on earth would you think they have chosen you to suffer?”

She looked at him incredulously. “Have you been around at all in the past six years? I was called. The badness that is my life begins. I won’t bore you with the details. You were there, you know what I’ve seen and done.” She laughed. It was a bitter sound. “But the Powers don’t have it in for me. Right.”

“Buffy, I realize that on the face of it, things have been rather difficult for you, but you are an extraordinary Slayer and have overcome great odds.” He tried to put a better light on her experiences.

“I’m so done with that shit, Giles. Just done. You leaving is the last straw.” She stood up and looked at her watch. “You’d better get going. You have a plane to catch.”

He grabbed her wrist. “You can’t give up your calling, Buffy.”

“Watch me.” She giggled suddenly. “I guess you won’t be able to do that either. Have a nice life, Giles. I’ll make arrangements so that when I die again, you get notified.” She looked into his eyes. “Goodbye.” She walked out the door.

Willow tried to stop her but Buffy simply pushed her away. Willow spun out of control and fell back into a chair. Xander jumped up and tried to wrestle Buffy to the ground. She popped him on the nose and he let her go with a yelp. Buffy continued to the door when it was suddenly thrown open by Spike. She didn’t even look at him, simply stepped around him and continued out the door.

“What’s wrong with the Slayer?” he asked the room at large.

Giles came running from the back chasing after his charge. He called her name. She stopped and waited for him to catch up.

“Was there something else?” she asked him curiously.

“You can’t leave things like this.”

“Yeah, I really can.” She felt pretty good for somebody who didn’t have a soul anymore. He had ripped it out with his news.

“Buffy you can’t leave Sunnydale,” he told her angrily.

“Mmmm.” She said with a nod, not agreeing with him but simply making an agreeable sound so he would let her get on with the slow business of dying.

“Buffy! Buffy if you promise to stay, I’ll cancel my flight. I won’t leave you right away,” he said desperately.

She simply laughed. “Giles, you are a man and therefore incapable of fidelity. You will wait until I’m vulnerable again, till I’ve learned to trust you, forgiven you for the pain you’ve caused me this time, then when I’m not expecting it, you’ll leave again. Why don’t you just go now and let me get on with my business?” She wasn’t unkind about it, but he needed to see that she knew how things would fall out.

“What do you want, Buffy? An ironclad decree that I won’t leave you? We aren’t married. I have a right to my life.” He was growing angry now.

“And I want you to have that life, Giles. I really do. I also realize that for you to have it, I have to be scraped off your shoe like some nasty thing you stepped in. What I want you to realize is that if you get to have your life, I’m getting to have one too. It doesn’t involve my ‘sacred’ duty, or a sister that’s not even human, or dying a third time, or fighting to protect a world that doesn’t know or care about me. It’s not going to be about paying off bills that my friends ran up while I was dead. It’s not going to be about suffering and misery and death anymore. I’m leaving this town and frankly, it can’t get sucked into the Hellmouth fast enough to suit me.”

“So this is how you are going to live out the remainder of your life?” he asked her bitterly. “You are just going to give up? Let people die when you could have saved them?”

She tilted her head on the side. “Yeah, that sounds about right. Actually, I think I’m going to get a job and put myself through school. If I don’t slay, I’ll have plenty of time for things like sleeping and studying.”

He looked at her, anger burning deep in his gaze. She looked back with eyes as empty and blank as a slate. “All right, Buffy. You win. I will cancel my flight and I will spend the rest of your life in Sunnydale if you will take up your duties as the Slayer again. Are you happy now?” He was furious.

She shook her head. “Giles, I’m not doing this to piss you off or to blackmail you into staying. You are the one who taught me that actions have consequences. You leave, I leave. You stay, I stay. It’s pretty simple and very fair if you get right down to it.”

“Fair? You call it fair that I have to give up any chance I have to have a life of my own? That I’m doomed to being a lonely, old man for the remainder of my life? I won’t ever find a woman who can accept the role I must play in your life. You get to have lovers while I get left alone with musty old books and an empty apartment.” He ran his hands over his face.

“That’s your big beef?” She looked at him incredulously. “You want a girlfriend?”

“Yes!” he nearly screamed it at her.

She looked around and noticed that they were in front of the park. She grabbed his hand and dragged him over to a bench where she pushed him down. She paced in front of him for a few minutes before speaking. “You want a life. I want a life. You want a lover. I want a lover. Neither of us can have somebody who doesn’t know the score.” She paced again. “Don’t take this the wrong way, it’s just a suggestion and we don’t actually have to act on it, but I’m throwing it out for discussion, OK?”

He nodded cautiously.

“I think, I think if we were with each other, it might solve our problems.”

“W, with each other?” he asked her not understanding.

“You know, uh, together.” At his blank look, she continued. “As a couple.”

“What? Are you out of your mind?” he yelped.

“Hey, it was just a thought.” She shrugged. “If it’s going to wig you, then forget about it.”

“W, what would we do, as a couple, I mean?”

“Well, couply things. You know, dates and stuff.” She shrugged again.

“S, s, sex?” he sounded breathless.

“Eventually, yeah, why not?” She looked at him. “I already love you, even if you really make me furious sometimes. I just never considered the romance angle before.”

“N, nor I,” he conceded, not quite truthfully. “I, I wouldn’t be adverse to trying it, however.” He met her glance. “I would need commitment from you.”

“Like what?”

“Marriage,” he told her bluntly. “I must be assured that you are committed to this relationship.”

She hesitated. “That’s a pretty big commitment. I mean, a little consensual sex and companionship are one thing, but marriage…”

“It’s that or nothing, I’m afraid,” he told her ruthlessly.

She squared her shoulders. “When?”

“Soon, I think.”

“If you leave me after we get married, I’ll track you down and gut you like a trout,” she told him seriously.

“If you cheat on me after we get married, I’ll turn you into a toad,” he told her equally serious.

“I guess we’re clear on things then,” she replied as she took her seat next to him.

They both sat on the bench not touching but wondering about it. Finally Buffy turned to him. “I suppose you should kiss me or something. What if we aren’t compatible?”

“Good point,” he conceded. Placing his hands on her shoulders he drew her towards him. When their mouths were only a fraction of an inch apart he leaned into her and softly licked her lips. The kiss was deep, fulfilling and passionate. It took them both by surprise. They were panting when they pulled away from each other.

“I think compatibility isn’t going to be much of a problem.” Buffy conceded wryly.

“I take your point. So, what do you think?”

“I say, let’s go for it.” Buffy told him.

They felt awkward but joined hands and walked back to the Magic Box. Willow was holding an ice bag on Xander’s nose. Spike was sitting on the counter looking surly, Dawn stood by the door, arms crossed. Tara and Anya stood near the cash register watching Willow and Xander.

Everybody looked up when Giles and Buffy entered the store. “Who are you?” Tara asked them fearfully.

Buffy looked at Giles. He raised his eyebrows. “Tara, dear, are you all right?”

“Who’s Tara?”

Giles looked at the others. “What happened? Xander, are you all right?”

Xander looked around. “I think you should answer the lady, Mister. Who the hell are you?”

He sighed. “I don’t know what game you children are playing but you need to stop. Buffy and I have some rather important news.”

“Who’s Buffy? What a stupid name,” Dawn said.

“Hey! Don’t diss my name, brat,” Buffy said to her sister.

“Why don’t one of you tell me what’s going on here,” Giles said in a calm voice.

“That’s just it, we don’t know,” Spike told him. “We just woke up and nobody remembered anything. So far, we’ve managed to identify ourselves with assorted I.D. I only had the name sewn into this suit. I’m Randy.”

Giles snorted in an attempt not to laugh. “Your nickname is Spike. We’ve known you for several years.”

“Are we related?” Spike asked him. “I seem to be British and so do you.”

“No. We are most certainly not related,” Giles said in disgust. He looked around the room and pointed. “Xander is engaged to that young woman, named Anya. Willow and Tara are lovers. Dawn is Buffy’s younger sister and Spike is, uh, an acquaintance.”

“Why do I seem to own part of this shop?” Anya asked him. “With somebody named Rupert Giles.”

“I’m Rupert Giles and you own part of the shop because you are very good at retail and I needed a partner.” He glanced around and pulled Buffy into his side. “This is Buffy. We are engaged.”

“Engaged?” Xander said in stunned disbelief. “Isn’t she a little young for you, pops?”

“That is neither here nor there at the moment, Xander. First, we must make an effort to find out why all of you appear to have lost your memories.” Giles bade them sit down which they reluctantly did.

Just as he was about to begin questioning them the front door slammed open and a vampire entered the shop, closely followed by three more. Buffy leaped into action, staking two before they had gone more than a few feet. The third and fourth creatures leaped at Spike. He spun into action and punched them both, one in the head and one in the belly. His loss of memory hadn’t affected his vampiric strength and they spun across the room. One of them was stupid enough to try to continue the fight and Buffy dusted him without any further trouble. The fourth looked at her. “All we want is Spike. He has a debt to repay.”

“Yeah, so I heard. Forty kittens, right?” she said with a disgusted grimace.

“That’s right, Slayer. All we want are the kittens and Spike gets off the hook,” the vamp snarled.

She looked around at the damage the creatures had done to the shop. “I’m thinking you’ve done more damage than that to my Watcher’s shop, dust bunny.”

“Mr. Jaws will make it good. He doesn’t like welchers,” the vampire bit out.

“Tell him Spike will get him his kittens but we’re doing something important now and if he doesn’t want to become chum, he’ll back off.” Buffy said in an aggravated tone. “Tell him the Slayer says he’ll get what’s coming to him.”

The vampire nodded and left the shop. She turned around and found the others all watching her. “What?”

“What was that, that thing?” Spike asked.

“Vampire,” Buffy told him abruptly.

“Vampires aren’t real, are they?” Willow said softly.

Buffy sighed. “Vampires, Demons, Werewolves; yeah, they’re real.”

“How can that be?” Xander said scornfully. “What a load of crap. I’ve never heard anything so stupid in my life.”

“How would you know?” Buffy asked him. “You can’t even remember your own name, let alone what’s real and what isn’t.”

Xander shut up. The blond girl was right. Maybe he should just shut up and listen for a while. “Somebody hit me in the nose. Do you know who did that? ‘Cause it really hurts.”

Buffy looked briefly guilty. “You ran into a door,” she told him, not making eye contact. “That’s not important now. What we need to do is figure out what caused this problem and how to fix it.”

Giles pursed his lips as he thought. “I could perform a small spell to see if they have been affected by magic.”

“Good idea,” Buffy said. “What do you need?”

He thought briefly. “Everybody gather into a circle.” He drew an outline around them in chalk. He grounded himself and reached for his power. “Illumine!” He commanded. Willow lit up like a Roman candle. He sighed. She had performed another spell and as usual, it had gone awry.

“Willow, empty your pockets, please,” he told her looking grim.

She obediently pulled a variety of things from her pockets including a small piece of quartz, black with the force of the magic it contained. He picked up the crystal delicately, feeling the magic leaking from it like albumen from a cracked egg.

He looked at the young witch. “You have used magic again and again wrongly, Willow. We have all begged you to stop, but you are apparently unable to do so on your own. You have repeatedly broken the Law—the rede that says ‘Harm none.’ This can’t be allowed to continue.” He stepped forward and touched her forehead. Her entire body was covered briefly in a sickly yellowish light. The light seemed to grow thick, condensing like fog around her small frame. It solidified around her till it was almost shell-like in appearance then it flickered out. He held the crystal in his open hand and dropped it onto the floor. Raising his foot, he brought the heel down sharply on the stone. It shattered and the forgetting spell was broken. Giles and Buffy watched the memories pour into the five like water filling up an empty glass.

Willow looked up, eyes angry. “What did you do to me? I can’t feel my magic anymore!”

“Your magic is gone, Willow. You have broken the Law. You have harmed all of us repeatedly through your careless and uncontrolled use of power. I simply removed that power from you.” His voice was quiet.

“You had no right! I want it back.”

“No. It is gone forever. I had the right of an adult who sees a child playing with matches to remove them from her. You won’t hurt anyone again. In time, when the poison has leached itself from your system, you will understand and even thank me.”

Willow put her hands over her eyes. “Damn you. Damn you. You had no right! You were just jealous because I was more powerful than you. All I wanted was to help Buffy forget about being dead and in heaven. I just wanted to help. You’ve ruined everything!”

Giles sighed and felt badly, but he couldn’t let her go around hurting people. She had been warned repeatedly and hadn’t listened. Now, the consequences of that behavior were coming back to haunt her. “I’m sorry Willow. Please believe that, at least.” He turned from her.

Tara came up to Willow. “You tampered with us—with my mind again! You promised no more magic and you did it as soon as my back was turned!” She raised her hand and slapped the redheaded Witch sharply across the cheek. “I’m leaving and I won’t be back. Have the decency to stay away while I pack.” She stomped out of the store.

It was Xander’s turn. “We could all have been killed, thanks to you, Willow. I won’t slap you because I don’t hit girls, but I’d like to! How could you do something so stupid?”

Spike walked over to her. “Be glad I can’t hurt humans, witch. I’d have drained you for this if I could.” He slipped out the back door letting it slam behind him.

Surprisingly, Anya came forward and handed Willow a tissue. “That was very bad, but I realize your intentions were good. Don’t ever do that again.” She walked around to the shelf of merchandise the vampires had trashed, shaking her head at the lost revenue.

Willow looked at Buffy. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to help you.”

Buffy nodded. “My pain is mine, Willow. Nobody has the right to take it away from me. I know you just wanted to help, but you tried to steal my memories. You need to get help. Giles knows people, I’m sure.”

Willow’s eyes flashed. “I won’t take any help from him. He stole my magic.”

“Only after you abused all of us time and again. Willow, I love you, you’re my best friend, but I can’t let you continue to do evil.”

“How is it evil to want to help? You’ve accepted my spells in the past. It wasn’t evil then, was it? When I put Angel’s soul back in him, I didn’t hear anybody complaining about evil.” The witch sobbed angrily.

“Look at you Willow. You almost got your friends killed and instead of being sorry, you’re all pissed off that you can’t use the weapon that did it again.”

Willow wanted to blast her with magic, reached for it automatically, but it was gone, closed off from her forever. For the first time, she moved beyond rage and contemplated the enormity of her loss. She collapsed into a chair and sobbed.

Giles came over to Buffy. “There’s a coven in Devon that can help her if she’ll go. I’ll call them. She should leave right away.”

“She can use your ticket.” Buffy told him sadly.

Dawn had been watching the whole scene quietly. “That’s it? You do this to Willow and make Tara leave and then you just dump Willow on some strangers in England.” She looked at her sister. “I hate you. All you do for months is whine about being back from the dead. Well, big deal. Some of us had to live here afterwards. Willow and Tara took care of me and now you’re getting rid of them. It’s always about you, isn’t it? What you want—that’s the way it has to be for everybody.” She started to slam out of the shop but Buffy caught her and spun her around.

“You listen to me, you brat! I’ve had about as much of you as I can stand. Poor little Dawn, nobody loves her, blah, blah, blah. Been there, done that. If I didn’t love you, why did I die for you? I could have thrown you off the tower, no problem, but I didn’t. I think you need to drop the attitude. I’m tired of it. You want to live with Dad? Fine. We’ll pack your stuff too. Better brush up on your Spanish, though, ‘cause I think he’s in Spain again.”

Dawn looked stricken. She hadn’t wanted this. She had only wanted her sister back, but unfortunately, she had Joyce’s problem of speaking before thinking. She was bone jealous of her sister and always had been. Buffy was always the favorite. Mom had loved her best; Giles adored her, even the Scoobies thought the sun shown out of her butt. The really sad part was Dawn totally hero-worshiped Buffy herself. She wanted to help her, but instead all she ever did was screw up. Tears spilled down her face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t mean it. Please don’t make me live with him. Please, I won’t make any more trouble. I don’t want to leave you.” She threw herself sobbing into her sister’s arms.

Buffy held her and rocked her gently. “It’s all right Dawn. I understand. You can stay, but things have to be different between us. We need to get rid of the anger and put it behind us, OK?”

“OK,” Dawn hiccupped.

“Help me get Willow home.” They lifted the now slack and unresisting body of the former witch between them draping her arms around their shoulders. Giles motioned for Anya to close up the shop. She and Xander would stay and make things right there again. He helped the three girls into his car.

They got Willow packed up and drove her to the airport. Giles gave her his ticket. She barely looked at him and trooped listlessly onto the airplane. He felt a wave of relief when it finally took off. He had phoned his friends in Devon and they were happy to help. Poor girl, they murmured, poor wounded child.

They all drove back to the Summers’ residence in silence. Dawn suddenly sat up in the back seat. “Hey, what did you guys say when you came into the store tonight?”

They looked at her blankly. “Huh?” Buffy said.

“You said you were engaged,” Dawn crowed in amazement.

“Oh, that,” Buffy commented. “Yeah. Giles and I decided to get married.”

“But you, you, and him!” She couldn’t even finish the thought.

“We’re going to be together.” Buffy said firmly. “There is no debate, no arguments. Giles and I talked about what we need and it turns out that its each other.”

Giles nodded. “Buffy is correct. I hope this isn’t too much of a shock for you, Dawn.”

“Shock?” The younger girl squeaked. “I’m not sure that shock covers what I’m feeling. Are you guys in love?” This last was said in a tone of voice that clearly compared that experience with sacrificing a goat or something equally repugnant.

Buffy looked at her and then at Giles. “Yes,” she said simply.

END