Title: Let that be a Lesson to you…part 1/11
Author: Sweetdoggie
Email: (stirling_summer@yahoo.com)
Pairing: B/G
Rating: R overall
Summary: Buffy finds a magic artifact on patrol. Willow won’t leave it alone despite Giles orders. Chaos ensues. No Dawn.
Spoilers: season 6+
Disclaimer: No permission has been granted to use the characters. They are owned by their creator, Joss Whedon, Twentieth Century Fox, UPN, WB, and Mutant Enemy. This story is non-profit and is intended solely as entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.
Challenge Response for Daien’s Family Fun Challenge at ODD
Xander & Willow (and depending on what season you place it Anya, Tara, Riley & Dawn)
are turned into little kids and it is up to Buffy and Giles to take care of them
until they can change them back.
Must haves:
*Giles telling the kids a bedtime story
*bath time
*someone not wanting to wear clothes
*someone telling Buffy and Giles what a nice family or (if it is a lot of kids) asking them if they know what causes that.
*one or more of the kids scared of the dark or of sleeping alone
*kid-Xander trying to look up someone's skirt
*Giles watching cartoons with the kids and/or playing at the park
*happy BG ending
“Leave it alone, Willow,” Giles commanded as he walked to the back of the shop.
“But Giles, it’s practically glowing with magick-y goodness. Who knows what we could learn if we worked on it for a while?”
“Willow, that is a very dangerous artifact. Until we establish exactly what it is and what it does, I don’t want you messing about with it.”
“Buffy got to touch it!” the Wicca complained.
“Buffy found it and, as you know perfectly well, she is almost a magical null. Now leave the pretty glowing rock alone whilst I investigate it.” He tried to project an aura of not-to-be-thwarted authority, but noted with a sinking feeling that the witch was still fascinated by the stone.
The shop bell rang and Xander, Tara and Anya walked into the shop. Giles looked over at them with some exasperation. “I have to go deposit the monies from the store. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. Please keep Willow away from that artifact on the table.”
They all smiled at the irritated Watcher.
“Sure, no problem, Giles,” Xander responded.
He stepped out of the store and locked the door behind him. Ten minutes later he had finished his banking chore and was headed back to the store. Buffy caught up with him at the corner.
“Hey, Giles! How’s things going? Did you find out anything about the big rock I found last night?”
He smiled at her. She was happier these days than she had been for some time. It did his heart good to see her so. “Hello, Buffy. I’m afraid I have no news to report on the artifact. I had to leave the store for a few moments to deposit the day’s accounts. Would you care to accompany me back? The others are there already.”
“Sounds like a plan.” She fell into step with him. “You know, this feels pretty nice. I was just thinking the other night how much I missed being close with you. I’ve been so distracted this past year. College kind of caught my attention for a while and then mom...”
He patted her on the shoulder. “That is as it should be, Buffy. Your life has changed dramatically since your mother passed away. But you are getting back on your feet now. You are putting your attention into your studies and that is important.”
“Snore,” she teased. “All that school is making my brain hurt. Do you know I used the word ‘juxtaposed’ in a sentence the other day? I had to rest for a while after.”
He snorted wryly. “I’m sure higher education is doing wonders for your vocabulary.”
“Oh, Watcher-mine, I just missed you so much!” Buffy stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pulled him into a tight hug.
He returned it with a sigh of deep contentment. “I am always here for you, dear girl.”
“I know, but I wasn’t here for either of us, at least mentally. This last year has been so hard. I’m glad to be getting slightly back to normal.” She slipped her arm around his waist and he threw his over her shoulders as they walked down the street to the store.
She waited while he unlocked the door then stepped inside as he courteously held the door open for her. She stopped dead in the doorway and looked around. Sitting on the floor were four very small children, three girls and a boy. Buffy felt her stomach quiver. The youngest looking child, probably about six months old, had red hair. They were all naked and crying. Looking around, she spotted four piles of clothing, some of which she recognized as belonging to her friends.
“Uh oh. Giles, we have a problem.”
He stepped into the store and felt his mouth drop open. “Good Lord! Do you think…?”
She looked at him. “I’d make a bet that we now have four baby Scoobies. I guess Willow found out what the rock of glowiness was for.” She walked into the shop and picked up the redheaded baby girl.
Giles staggered into the room and plopped down in a chair. The tiny black-haired boy walked over to him. “Da?” He held up his arms waiting to be picked up. Not knowing what else to do, he swept the boy into his arms.
Buffy passed him a crying Willow and pulled Anya and Tara up into her arms. They both sat on her lap and hid their tiny faces against her shirt, snuffling and crying. “They look like they might be different ages, Giles. What do you think?”
He came out of his daze to look around. “Notice the location of their garments. Willow was closest to the, the effect and seems to have become the youngest. Xander was several feet away and may be two year old now. Anya and Tara must have been on the other side of the store because they appear to be slightly older, perhaps three and a half? I just don’t know.”
The girls had fallen asleep in Buffy’s arms so she kept her voice low. “Well, we can’t leave them like this. How do we make them grownups again?”
“I haven’t got a clue,” he said with a definite snap in his voice. Baby Xander responded to the tone and began sobbing against his shirt. Giles rubbed his back comfortingly. “There, there, Xander. It’s all right.”
Buffy carried the two sleeping girls to the couch in back and put them down pulling the blanket over them. She then went to the storage room and pulled out a packing crate. After lining it with towels and a blanket, she took Willow from him and put her into the crate. Giles carried Xander to the couch and tucked him in next to the sleeping girls. ‘Poor Xander,’ he thought, ‘tucked naked between two equally naked girls and not in a position to even remember it.’ He returned to the front room and watched Buffy gather her friends’ clothing. She stuffed the garments into a bag.
“What are we going to do? We have suddenly become the parents of four kids under the age of four.”
“P, parents?” he stuttered.
“Well, yeah. What? Did you think we could just drive up to their homes and drop them off? ‘Hi Mrs. Rosenberg, Willow had a little accident but she’ll be fine in twenty years?’ Plus, they need clothes. Baby Will is going to need diapers. And Xander is probably still in training pants, not to mention all the other stuff that babies and little people need. And you know what? Willow told me her mom breast-fed her till she was fourteen months old. We need supplies.”
“We can’t leave the children here unattended.” He pulled out his credit card and passed it to his Slayer. “Take this and,” he fished around in his pocket and pulled out his car keys, “and the car. Go to Walmart and buy whatever you think we need to sustain these children for a few days.”
“A few days! We can’t watch them for a few days! What about school? What about the shop? Geez, what about Slaying?”
“We shall have to make do as best we can. I shall remain here and, um, monitor the situation. Please, hurry with the supplies. I don’t know a great deal about children, especially ones this small. Oh, and be careful with my car.”
Buffy rolled her eyes, took the keys and the credit card and headed out the door. She had babysat as a young teen prior to being Called, but that was years ago and those children came with supplies. After parking the car she entered the store, grabbed a cart and started down the baby supplies aisle. Disposable diapers, bottles, formula, a couple of buntings and two romper suits for Willow. Baby food suitable for two-year-olds for Xander. She read the labels carefully and grimaced at their color. She found a cute little spoon that she threw in the cart. Next, she added training pants, a pair of shorts, a tiny pair of jeans, and four T-shirts. She thought about shoes and socks and picked up pairs for all the kids. Anya and Tara needed slightly larger clothes. She got them both shorts and Tee’s and a couple of simple dresses as well as underpants and sturdy pairs of tiny cords. Kids clothes were so cute. The next stop was the toy aisle where she bought four stuffed animals, a Busy Bee game and The Farmer Says. The latter was a round plastic thing with pictures of various farm animals on it. When you pulled the string, the spinning doo-dad in the center pointed to a random animal and imitated whatever sound it made. She purchased two sets of blocks and a roly-poly clown that jingled when you pushed it over. Remembering rubber pants for Will at the last minute, she ran back and grabbed a three pack and a bib while she was there. She picked out four baby/small child sized blankets in different colors and decided that she had done enough damage to Giles’ wallet for one night. The bill came to almost three hundred dollars. Having kids was definitely not cheap. Tomorrow, she would hit some of the kid’s second-hand shops and pick up some daily wear for them.
She carried her purchases back to the store. Giles was holding a sobbing and very wet-looking Willow and was trying to clean her up with a towel. He looked up in desperation as Buffy came through the door. “Thank God! I can’t make her be quiet and she seems to have, um, wet all over her crate. Can you do anything with her before she wakes the others?”
Buffy dropped the sacks on the table, tossed him his keys and credit card and took the crying baby from him. She wrapped her in a towel and rocked her slowly in her arms. “Shhh. It’s all right. Daddy just doesn’t know what to do yet. Shhh.”
“Really, Buffy. I don’t know why you want to call me these children’s father!”
“Well, you’re the male figure here. Somebody has to be the dad, I figure it had better be you!”
“Does that make you their mother, then? Are we to pretend that we are married?”
She looked at him speculatively. “Might not be a bad idea, Giles. We don’t want Family Protective Services coming around asking questions.” She laid the now dry Willow back in the crate. “Help me with this stuff.”
He looked at the supplies. “Good Lord! This must have cost a fortune!”
She nodded. “It’s a good thing you have a job. This little bit of stuff was about three hundred bucks. Plus, if the kids stay little for any length of time, we are gonna hafta buy a crib, maybe more than one. I think we’ll need a play pen too,” she said looking down at the baby.
“A play pen?”
“Think of it as a cage for small children,” she told him.
He shuddered at the necessity of owning such a thing but saw the wisdom behind it as well. “Shall we take them to your house? You have more room.”
“Yeah. I guess. We can buy the rest of the stuff we need tomorrow.”
“More?” He sounded dismayed.
“I just bought the bare bones stuff for tonight. We need to get them dressed and into your car. Oh shoot! I didn’t buy any car seats. Try not to get stopped by the cops, OK?” She thunked her hand against her head. “I didn’t buy any toothbrushes either. This shopping for kids is a lot harder than you’d think.”