Title: Completely Innocent
Author: Tori Deathangel
Pairing: B/G
Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I don't own them
Rating: PG – it'll take your demented minds to take it down that other road
Feedback: Love it, want it please!

"All right, I'm coming." He was looking forward to the entire day alone with her not at the magic shop.

"Well clean up and cum….um get over here." Buffy flew in a fit of giggles as the words came out.

On the way there, his thoughts had wandered to Buffy. He thought to himself as he turned from the main road, but instead of proceeding direct, he turned into the Oil Express to get his oil changed since it has been awhile since it was done last.

The sound of Fur Elise broke the air

"Hello."

Buffy was on the other side of his cell, "Are you …" Trying to stifle giggles, "Still coming?"

"Ha, Bloody, Ha. I'm so happy that I can be of some amusement to you."

"I'm sorry, really. When will you be here?"

"In about ten minutes. I'm getting a lube job."

- Silence –

"Buffy?" her silence concerned him.

She couldn't contain it anymore. She busted out laughing.

"Really Buffy." Giles ended the call a little miffed, but when he thought about it, she was right. It is a play on words, He chuckled at how easily innocent it was, but it sounded soooooo bad.

Giles bounded into the shop where he found Spike and Buffy. When Spike relayed to them that Harmony took over his crypt and was afraid of evicting her… Giles got pissed. "You brought us over… for this!" He grabbed Spike by the collar and dragged him into the back room.

Anya and Xander walked into the shop, "Where's Giles?"

"Oh he's in back chocking the chicken." She really didn't realize what she had just said until the soda that Xander was drinking was sprayed across the floor.

"He's what?"

"Oh," Blushing at what she said, "Um, Spike, was trying to get us to do his dirty work, so Giles is teaching him, how wrong that is."

Relieved Xander sat down.

Giles walked back from the training room minus one vampire and Willow came in, sneezing while carrying some greenery.

They all looked concerned, but when she put the greens down the sneezing stopped. Curious, Giles looked at the assortment and separated each piece, bringing them separately to her nose one at a time, with no reaction until…

"Ahchoo!"

"Its your PussyWillow."

Buffy's eyes went wide, and Giles shifted uncontrollably when he realized what he said, but thankfully nobody else but Buffy and himself knew the inside joke.

"Oh No!"

Everyone turned towards the ex demon, "An…Darling… what's wrong?

"My nail polish won't dry, I can't take people's money if it's wet."

"An, all you have to do is blow on it to get it to harden."

Giles and Buffy both looked at Xander, who was sheepishly hiding his head in a book that was upside down.

Spike came hobbling out and into the discussion about the food at the YMCA, snidely he says, "Hey, I've eaten at the Y." He saw the looks in their eyes, "Right, shutting up now."

"Damn, no more jelly!"

Sideling up next to Giles, "Would you like me to go down…"

"Hunh??" He was shocked at how bold Buffy was being and a smile cracked his lips.

Buffy pelted him, "to the store."

"Oh, that won't be necessary. An and I stopped and picked some more up."

"Well, whip it out." Everyone froze when he said that. Gauging everyone's faces he leaned over and plucked one out, "Um, Buffy, Let's go train." He needed so bad to escape.

The Scoobies could hear them, and paused to look at each other from time to time at the things said.

"Giles this is no good, you have to get it up."

And then a few minutes later

"No fair! Yours is bigger then mine!"

- Splash-

"I'm so wet!"

"Well, take it off."

Buffy was having trouble with the fastener and saw Giles' gear was wet also, "I'll do you if you do me."

The scoobies freaked.

"Its quite simple to do, all you have to do is slide it in."

"I didn't realize that it was that big."

Giles finished putting on the patch, "Ok that hole is filled up."

The scoobies couldn't believe what they were hearing.

Buffy and Giles came out and saw Anya grinning from ear to ear, and Willow and Xand were engrossed in their research looking at them over their books which were in Latin.

Giles realized he had yet to find out why he was there. "You still didn't tell me what you needed."

"Well, Giles," she tried to bide some time, but found she should just come out and say it, "The bunny died."

Willow looked up, "No! Not the bunny!" She stopped and thought for a moment, "Buffy, you don't have a bunny."

Everyone, but her started cracking up.

"What did I say?"

END