Title: Let Us Never Speak Of This Again
Author: Trekker (trkkr47@gmail.com)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing (er... grouping?): Buffy/Giles/Willow/Xander
Warning: m/m/f/f foursome with all the slash, femslash and het that implies.
Author's website: http://trkkr47.seeking-solace.com/
A/N: I have always, always wanted to write a Core Four foursome.
Finally, one came to me.

Summary: There's a preliminary step to the spell used to defeat Adam...

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and any content pertaining to, are the property of Fox and any other holders of said properties. This author has not been authorized by Fox. No infringement is intended.

*** Buffy ***

It began, as many bad things do, with an "Oh, dear lord," from Giles.

We were sitting in his living room, as he went over the ritual for the essence-melding spell. I was sharpening weapons, Willow was double-checking the maps, and Xander was... I can't remember what Xander was doing. But, anyway, Giles looked up, and we all looked at him, and there was a deathly silence.

Then, I said, "What?"

And he said, "Er. The... there's a preliminary phase to this that, um, that I hadn't... well. It. I."

I knew we were in trouble when the glasses went off.

"Er. That is. In order for this to work we'd, we'd have to-- um."

At this point, we were all frozen in horrified anticipation, except Xander, who cried, "Oh, god. We have to have sex, don't we?"

How he got that, I'll never know. But, score one for the teenaged male mind, because Giles said, "Uh. Well, yes. We'd need to... yes."

"Ew!" I said. Ok, not the most mature thing, I know this. But it caught me off guard, ok?

Willow looked like a rabbit about to be creamed by a semi, and then she grabbed the book from Giles' lap. I don't know quite how it was physically possible, but her eyes got even wider as she read.

Giles was blushing and pretending not to exist. Xander looked shell-shocked.

Willow pushed the book off her lap onto the couch beside her.

"Oh," she said, a quiet little squeak.

Silence descended.

*** Giles ***

Buffy was the reasonable one, of course. She does have a gift for that, beneath all her youth and her carefree California teen exterior.

"Well, we have to do it," she said, finally. "Adam has to be stopped, and this is only way to do it."

She was right, and I said as much. Already my mind was beginning to tackle the logistics.

The bedroom would be most comfortable, physically, but I suspected right off it would be too strange and too intimate for the others. They were at home down here. I'd have to bring down blankets, pillows, something.

Already, my body was drawing tight in denial.

I won't lie and say I'd never had an impure thought. They weren't children, after all, though sometimes they acted it. But such thoughts had been only fleeting, momentary things. Never had I imagined acting on them.

Then Willow drew my mind back to the present, saying softly, "Um. This spell, it says... something about mingling essences. Uh, if I'm reading that right, doesn't that kinda mean... unsafe sex?"

I nodded.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. The... the ritual was no doubt constructed long before such things were a concern."

*** Xander ***

See, my brain kinda got stuck shortly after the "Oh my god, I get to have sex with Buffy," when I reached the "Oh my god, I have to have sex with Giles," part. So, I missed some intervening conversation while I stared in horror.

I mean, I like the guy ok, but the operative word here is "guy." As in, I'm a guy, he's a guy, we should not be interlocking any parts.

And then my stupid brain moved on to thinking about which parts might have to interlock where, and I just completely checked out of reality for a while. By the time I came to, Giles was stammering something about his linen closet.

"Uh, and, um, one of us should--should stop by a store for, er, supplies."

"I have condoms," I offered, really without thinking.

"No condoms, Xan," Buffy said, "We covered that."

"We did?" I said.

"Um. I was thinking more along the lines of, er, personal lubricant. And, um, a spermicidal agent, perhaps. Not, not the most effective from of birth control, of course, but it's the best we can do on short notice and, and..." At this juncture, he looked very firmly away from everyone, "Perhaps something... to... er... get us in the mood. Perhaps."

"In the mood?" Buffy said. She wrinkled her nose, and was quite cute. "You mean, like, candles and flowers?"

I laughed, which was bad, because she looked at me, then, and I had to say, "Uh, porn, Buffy. He means porn."

"Ew!" said Buffy.

Giles cleared his throat.

"It was merely a suggestion."

"Yeah, Buff, I mean, you girls, all you have to do is lie there. We guys have to be... you know... into it."

Of course, the thought of Buffy lying anywhere was kinda already getting me... into it.

"Well, technically, I suppose only one of us would..." Giles left that one hanging, but I somehow managed to follow it back to the whole "personal lubricant" thing.

"Ew!" I yelped.

No. Friggin'. Way.

Now Giles was glaring at me.

"You know, I think the next person to say 'ew' should have to..."

That sentence hung in the air far too terrifyingly long, before he finished it with, "Buy the rest of us dinner."

Willow looked up from the spellbook.

"Giles has a point, guys. I mean, come on. We're all friends here. Maybe we should try to go a little lighter on each other's egos, huh? This is weird for all of us, and it's not like we've been thinking about this. Ok, except maybe a bit in eleventh grade. And that one time when-- ok, shutting up now."

"I knew it!" Buffy said, "You were--"

Willow's glare actually rivaled Giles' earlier glare.

"When Giles was singing," she said, pointedly, then added, "I knew you were wigged about this."

Buffy looked abashed. "Sorry, Will."

Meanwhile, I was having very, very, naughty, wrong mental images of happenings in girls' dorm rooms.

"Xander," Giles said, "Could you--"

He handed me a list.

"Oh, no," I said.

"Willow and I need to begin preparation for the spell, or I would go," he said, at least having the decency to look apologetic.

I looked at the list. The List of Doom.

"That's it," I said. I grabbed Buffy's arm. "You're coming with me."

"What?" she squeaked.

"It's your destiny," I told her, "Deal."

We went.

*** Willow ***

So, ok, I'd just come out, right? And now all of a sudden, there's this kinky foursome with my best friends and my high school librarian. Ok, maybe not kinky, really, but kind of kinky by default. After me not losing my virginity until just before graduation, I was kinda wondering if this was some weird kind of sex karma. Is there such a thing as sex karma?

I was all focused on reading the spell, because that was *so* much better than actually looking at anyone.

But then, Buffy and Xander left to go get stuff, and I was alone with Giles, and that was even worse, in a way.

He kinda cleared his throat again, which he'd been doing a lot, so I peered up at him cautiously, kinda trying to look like I wasn't really looking. He was standing and looking down at the coffee table with his brow all furrowed.

"Uh. Something wrong?" I asked.

"Uh, no," he said, "I was just... um."

By this point, I'd read the ritual about twenty times, so I finally had to let go of the pretense and set the book aside.

"So, uh. This... this is weird," I said.

He laughed, a quiet little laugh.

"It certainly is."

I wondered if I should maybe... touch him or something. If that would make things easier. I didn't know. And, it was kind of scary. I was really looking at him now, and he was kinda... big. Like, tall, not like... yeah. Because Oz, really little guy, and Tara? Well, she was a girl...

"You-- You-- Uh, liked my singing?" he said.

Oh. I'd said that out loud, hadn't I? I blushed.

"Yeah. Uh. So did Anya."

Although, after I said that, I felt bad for downplaying it.

"Ah," he said.

And then there was a really awkward silence, until Giles spoke again, all brisk and efficient and comfortingly Giles-y. "I suppose we should try to get things set up, then."

"Yeah," I said, quickly, "Let's do."

*** Buffy ***

"Xander," I'd finally said, all sweetness and light, "Try to hug me one more time before the actual *necessary* event, and I will break your arm."

So he'd backed off, thank goodness, and we'd stood in the aisle in the CVS for a moment or two. I was comparing brands. He was twitching.

A nice old lady walked by the aisle and peered at us.

Xander lasted about another two second after that, then he just grabbed the closest things and darted for check-out.

I rolled my eyes and followed him.

And now we were back, and suddenly I was getting a serious case of the stomach-butterflies. Like, ok, I know the Slaying gig gets weird sometimes, but this was off-the-charts weird. And just... kinda icky.

Will was lucky. She'd done the whole guy thing and the whole girl thing before. She was probably all experienced and know-it-all and calm as usual. Me, I was just... kinda freaking out.

I mean, my heart hadn't pounded this hard since I went down into the sewers to face the Master. I was *scared*. And I didn't really know why. Because these people were my friends. We'd be safe with each other, and I knew that we'd never tell another living soul, except maybe Tara, and Anya, and--

Oh god, Riley.

That was a thought I really hadn't needed.

Then I realized we were just standing there outside of Giles' door.

"So," Xander said, "Here we are. We are here."

"Yes, yes we are," I said. I'd forced a smile as I said it, but it faded quickly. "Oh, god," I said.

Xander started to reach out, then caught himself and stopped.

"Hey," he said, "We'll get through this. It'll be fine. It's just a little-- a little--"

"Sex?" I said.

"Anya's gonna kill me so very dead," he said. He looked... pale.

"I'm just trying not to think 'Riley,' right now," I confessed.

We stood there a bit more.

"We should go in," I said, eventually.

"Yeah," he said.

*** Giles ***

Buffy and Xander returned as I was finishing inflating the airbed. Willow had just set light to the last candle, and the power circle was painted on the floor below the covers.

"Hi guys."

Her voice at that moment was probably best described as a chirp. It was high-pitched and nervous. Buffy gave us both a tight smile. Xander, as per usual, quipped through his nerves, saying, "Chez Giles! Ze Den of Debauchery! We come bearing stuffs to make with the sex."

I did the only thing I could do. I sighed. Willow giggled nervously.

Buffy had already dug into the bag and come up with the box of spermicide.

"I don't actually need this," she said, "I'm all pilled up. Will?"

"Uh, yeah. Kinda stopped taking mine. Really... not an issue."

Buffy came around the sofa and placed the box in Willow's hand. I looked away, trying to give them some privacy, but I could still hear her say, "I've never... used these."

And Buffy say, "I have. Riley was, like, obsessive about this stuff. Come on, I'll tell you."

Then she whisked Willow off in the direction of my bathroom. It was a comfort to see Buffy slightly more relaxed. Then I looked up, and Xander was standing at the edge of the circle, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

He caught my gaze, and said, "So. Hey. This is like, every guy's fantasy, huh? Only, if it was without the other guy part."

I, of course, didn't bother to respond to the inane comment. Instead, I decided then was the best time to say, "Xander... a word of... caution, if I may?"

Xander bounced again, and dug his hands deeper into his pocket. The tension he was radiating was all but tangible.

"Don't... Don't come on too strongly. I know... how you feel about Buffy, but... do remember this is a highly abnormal situation, she's already under a great deal of stress--" I didn't want him touching her. It occurred to me suddenly, and it stopped my words. In the state he was in, in the state she was in, given the circumstances, it felt almost as though it would be... nonconsensual. Or at least, uncomfortably unbalanced.

"Yeah, I know, I know. Not real, yadda yadda."

"It might be best if you... if you didn't--"

"Hey. I love her," he said. Snapped. There was real anger in his eyes, and his hands slipped out of his pockets, aggression crept into his pose. And then, just as quickly, it was gone, and he was prevaricating. "Like her," he amended, "She's my friend. I wouldn't hurt her, ok?"

Then Buffy, and a few moments later, Willow emerged from the bathroom.

"It says I have to wait thirty minutes," Willow said.

*** Xander ***

So, there we were.

For some reason, that sounds like the beginning of a sordid sex tale. Which, hey, is what it is, so, I guess that works.

There we were, standing there in Giles' living room with an air mattress and a bunch of blankets on the floor, and candles all around. And I flashed back to that thing with Eyghon and remembered Willow saying something about bacchanals and orgies, and how I didn't even want to hear Giles and orgies in the same sentence, and now...

Giles. Orgy. Great.

"Uh," he said, and I was still a little annoyed at him for implying I might not be good to Buffy, by the way, "It-- it's probably best if we all... all take off our clothing now."

Naked time. And ok, there was obviously a big part--um, ok, that sounds like bragging--there was a majority of me going "Yay!" which was thankfully drowning out the part going "ew" at that moment. But then, no one else was actually getting naked. Everyone was still just looking at each other, and it was embarrassing far beyond the telling of it.

Then Buffy whipped off her shirt. I mean, like, no hesitation. A second later, no pants, and then no silky stuff, and then, wham.

Naked Buffy.

I think she may have said something, but my brain was entirely stuck on... Naked Buffy. Naaaaked Buffy. Oh, god, naked Buffy.

Naked Buffy, reclined on a mattress, looking at me and saying, "Take your clothes off, Xan."

I'll admit, there was a moment where seriously humiliating myself was about a heartbeat away, but thank god and Anya, I'd learned some control over the past year, and I used every. single. drop of it right then.

I must have gotten my clothes off somehow, cause I was naked too when I got down on my knees on the mattress in front of her.

She was a goddess. Pale skin and pert nipples, and god, she was gorgeous.

The air mattress bounced and shifted a bit, and--- wow, even naked Giles wasn't enough to kill my buzz.

Buffy smiled at me a little, but she looked nervous. Willow said, "For the ritual to work, we all have to be connected by touch and we all have to, uh, you know, get there."

Then, there was a big, dry hand on my shoulder. Way too big to be Willow. I flinched, and Giles said, "It just has to be contact, nothing more. At first, that is. By the end there, there needs to be an emotional connection as well."

Ok, weird. Weird and probably Freudian to have Giles-the-father-figure's hand on my shoulder the first time I reached out and felt Buffy's skin under my fingertips. But then Buffy was touching me, too, and nothing else in the world really mattered.

*** Willow ***

Maybe I should have looked away, although probably not, but I couldn't anyway. Not when Xander was all crawling over Buffy who was leaning back on her elbows. His eyes were dark and focused and for some reason it made his lashes look really long, and I got this strange feeling like I'd fallen into his brain and was seeing a fantasy, and it was weird, but also, in a disturbing way, kind of hot.

Also more weird, because I had my hand on Giles' shoulder, and Giles had his hand on Xander's, and we were all big with the nakedness.

Xander was kissing Buffy. But then she rolled up against him, and wow, that was really hot. Shouldn't have been hot. Bad me, bad, thinking naughty thoughts about--

And then he kind of slid down her, kissing her neck and then her breasts. I saw his tongue slide over her flat nipple, and his eyes were closed, and the necklace he wore was hanging around his neck, trailing along her skin.

And then I had to look away. But when I did, I saw Buffy's face, and her eyes were closed kind of tight, and her hand was gripping the covers.

"Go ahead," she said, and Xander looked up suddenly. Giles shifted.

She said it again, and Xander said, "Are you sure?"

And she nodded, but *I* wasn't sure. But I didn't say anything.

Giles moved again, and I saw his mouth open and then shut, like he was deciding not to say anything either.

Then Xander was moving up and reaching down, and I couldn't see what he was doing, even though I knew what he was doing, because Giles was between us. Xander paused, right before, and laughed a little.

"Never done this without a condom," he said.

Which seemed strange to me, but I didn't have time to think about it, because then Buffy was cringing, and making a little noise that sounded pained. Xander pulled back right away. He was blushing.

"That's not... working."

Buffy just looked annoyed.

"Get the bag, with the stuff. The lube thing."

And Xander went and got, but I was blushing in sympathy for him. Poor Xand.

"Buffy, are you sure? We can... I don't have to--"

"I'll be fine. Really, I will. I want this," she said.

I wasn't convinced. I don't think Xander was either, and judging by the brow-furrowing, I don't think Giles was buying it either.

"Buffy are you--"

She'd grabbed the tube of gel from Xander at that point, though, cause it seemed like all he was going to do was look at it, and then got a little on her hand and reached down out of my line of sight. Giles averted his eyes, and Xander stared.

"Com'on," Buffy said, and Xander, of course, 'cause he's Xander and he'd throw himself off a cliff if Buffy suggested it, came back to her, on top of her.

And then, apparently, inside of her, 'cause she leaned back and kind of grimaced.

"Buffy--" Giles said.

"I'm *fine*," she said, but it was her I'm-a-Slayer-I-can-take-it voice.

"Xander," Giles tried.

All the hotness had gone out of this for me. Buffy didn't look happy, and even Xander looked distressed. He almost yelled, "Giles! Will you please back off!"

And Buffy and Xander were kind of moving against each other really, really carefully, and I just had this moment where it all kind of caught up to me, and I was dizzy. I was scared, and sad, and this was just strange. I remember I grabbed Giles' shoulder tightly then, because he was the only thing that felt solid, and I looked at my hand, and saw that he had a few freckles and a mole on his shoulder.

"Yeah, Giles," Buffy said, then, and her voice was a little more normal, "Relax. We've got it."

So then he looked away, and ended up looking back at me, and so I smiled as much as I could at him, and we both pretended we weren't naked and that we didn't know why the mattress was kind of bouncing.

Then, Xander said, "Oh, god. Buffy," like he was just then remembering, and my eyes were drawn over to them again kind of against my will, and so I saw the moment Xander dropped his head back and said, "Shit," and came.

And then I *felt* it. It was the spell, pushing a bit of the pleasure through all of us, and for a moment, things looked brighter, as this feeling rushed through me, and I grinned at Giles, who smiled at me, and then--

Giles kissed me.

*** Buffy ***

I felt the first rush, but it didn't do much to improve my mood, except that it gave me a vague sense of relief that the spell was working. Looking back, hey, I was massively unfair to Xander, but at the time, all I could think about was getting it over with and facing Adam.

So, in my continuing tradition, at that point, of being a jerk, I pretty much ignored Xander's apology, because whoa, Giles was kissing Willow. Which was actually odd enough to pull me out of self-sacrificing Slayer mode, and into weirded-out Buffy mode.

Then they stopped kissing and Giles said, "Sorry. Sorry, was... caught up in the moment."

But Willow just smiled and said, "Hey, it's ok. It was... it was nice."

And then she kissed *him* and then he turned around and then they were getting kind of serious about it. And to be honest, I was a little... jealous.

I looked over to Xander, who looked away quickly. He was sitting back on his heels beside my legs, not touching any of us right now. I nudged him with my thigh, and he looked at me.

"Sorry," I mouthed at him.

He just shrugged, then focused on Willow and Giles, with this strange, not-too-pleased look in his eyes. Oddly enough, I was getting used to the nudity thing already. The kissing thing, though, was still strange. Especially when Giles turned them and laid them down beside me, him on top of Willow who was on her back.

She looked pretty happy. He looked pretty happy. And his hand was sliding down between them.

She opened her eyes, then, and turned her head to look right at me. Giles edged down a bit, started kissing her neck. She smiled, and then slipped her hand across the covers just a little, until it found my hand.

Her slim fingers threaded through mine. And then Giles' hand was moving, in an unmistakable rhythm, and he kept kissing her and her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned her head back a little, and she gripped my hand tighter.

She made a little noise, and there was something about hearing her voice that made it unavoidably obvious that this was Willow.

It was kind of amazing.

"Touch me, Xander," I said, quickly, and he laid his hand on my thigh.

And there was just something simple and beautiful about her just then. The way she was moving, her hips pushing up. The way her eyes closed and her breath quickened.

I hadn't expected this. I hadn't thought it could be like this.

Then she gasped and cried out and pressed up, and I felt her joy spill over the link between us, more powerful than before.

*** Giles ***

Her pleasure echoed up through me, riding the rising strength of the spell. I could feel the magic now, I was sure she could, too. I lifted up over her and turned to see who she was looking at.

Buffy, who was looking back with something quiet and powerful in her eyes. She even smiled at me, which I honestly hadn't expected. She'd made it clear enough in the past how she saw me, although I suppose that was irrelevant at that point. The situation was so far outside of our normal sphere.

Then I glanced over my shoulder. I expected to find Xander still taking advantage of what would probably be his only chance to see Buffy sans clothing, but, instead, he was looking at me. Us, more likely. Willow and I.

Willow, who said, "Com'ere Xander."

And he came, albeit reluctantly, and settled down between Willow and I and Buffy. I glanced at the clock, then down to Willow. Let my eyes wander for once. She was lovely. Delicate and fine.

"May I?" I said, and I wanted it quite badly. To think, I'd been worried about not being able to perform.

She nodded. "Go slow, though," she said.

So I slid inside of her. She was below me, Xander beside us, his chest hard and warm against my arm. I felt and heard him take a sharp breath, but then his hand crept over my back and rested there.

I could feel his breath against my cheek as I began to move inside her. It was impossible to ignore, warm and alive, and it was driving me almost as much as her body around me.

Buffy had, at some point, wrapped her arm around him, and I could feel it against my ribs.

She was saying something, but all I could hear was the rush of blood in my ears, and Willow's breathy gasps. I pulled her close and her legs twined around my own. God, it was good.

*** Xander ***

Buffy was behind me, pressed against my back, with her arm around my chest. Willow and Giles were in front of me. Having sex in front of me. And it was actually way sexier than was logical. My hand was on his back, and I could feel him, and I was getting hard again.

Which, to be fair to my heterosexuality, also probably had a lot to do with the fact that Buffy was whispering in my ear. And nibbling it. Wow. That was pretty cool.

Giles' jaw was right next to my lips. And I wanted to kiss it. I don't know why. Really, I don't. I mean, any other time, a thought like that would have been completely off the weird meter. But right then, with all the heat and the sweat and the sex all around, Giles' kind of stubbly jaw was the most fascinating thing ever, and that actually included naked Buffy.

So, ok, I kissed it. And after I kissed it, he turned his head, and so what could I do but kiss him again? On the lips. With tongue.

God, that was something else. He kind of shoved into the kiss, and it was hard and fast and messy, and I was pushing back, and it was probably the wildest kiss of my entire life, except for that time with Faith. No one--man, woman, or grizzly bear--kisses with quite the same singular violent abandon as Faith.

And then he came, which made me feel a bit better about my own less-than-world-record performance. Actually, when he came, it made all of us feel a lot better about just everything, in general.

*** Willow ***

Giles and I wallowed in the afterglow a bit. When he kissed me, he tasted like himself and Xander, and that was exciting. We kissed a lot.

I could feel Buffy and Xander against my arm, moving around on the air mattress, but I didn't bother to look at them until I felt Buffy's hand wrap around mine.

She was on her back beside me, now, shoulder to shoulder with me, and Xander was over her again. He was kissing her, up along her jaw, following her hairline. He looked all pretty and relaxed and happy again, and it made me smile. Giles had lifted himself up on his elbows and given me room to move, so I rolled up on my side.

"You're smiling," I said to Buffy.

"Yeah," she said. Then she said, "Will? Kiss me?"

Wow, like I was gonna turn that one down. Yeah, right. I snuggled up against her side. It was really nice. Warm and soft and girly, but with the two boys on either side of me. I kissed her and now my lips tasted like all of them. Giles and Xander and Buffy. Her hand ran up my side.

And then Giles' arm slid around me, between all of us. I opened my eyes for a moment, and saw him cup his hand around Buffy's breast. He was hot, pressed up against my back, kissing behind my ear as my tongue stroked her tongue and Xander's rhythm inside her pulsed through all of us.

Her climax took us all over with her.

*** Buffy ***

Afterwards, I grinned at them and said, "I don't know about you guys, but I think I'm ready to go kick Adam's ass. Who's with me?"

***
The End