Title: Et in Arcadia Ego 2/7
Author: TweedEmpress
Disclaimer: I do not own Giles, Jenny or anyone else – I just wish I did!
Feedback: yes please. I’m needy ;-) I take full responsibility for any mistakes (spelling or otherwise) in this fic.

Patrol had been quiet. Buffy had staked fewer than her usual quota of vamps – only because there had been fewer of them around. She pocketed Mr Pointy and walked back into town from the cemetery. Riley had been, mercifully, absent from the night’s hunt. Her brisk pace slowed at this thought. Should she be genuinely grateful that her ever-attentive lover was not with her? Except that, perhaps, attentive was not the right word. Perhaps ‘smothering’ was more apt. The truth was that Riley was more of a distraction than a help when she was patrolling: she was always worried that he would do something mind-numbingly stupid that would get them – and whichever human was unlucky enough to be there at the time – killed. Yes, Buffy was glad to be patrolling without Riley. She just wished that she were patrolling with Giles. In fact, she wished that she were patrolling with Giles whenever she was patrolling with Riley – and when the three of them were patrolling together she always wished that Riley would just go home and leave her with Giles. That, she felt quite sure, could not be normal. And yet…

Buffy had started her patrol ridiculously early: just after sunset, the time when vampires were only just waking up and beginning to get hungry. The feeling of restlessness had been growing in her all day – ever since Giles had left for Mexico, in fact. And telling herself that it had been her idea that he go was no consolation. Sunnydale without Giles… A Giles-less Sunnydale… It seemed unnatural and wrong. He had been there ever since she had arrived. Given up everything to be wherever she was. Buffy felt a sudden rising panic. Everything? She still wasn’t certain exactly what he had done before. Despite her slight knowledge of his Ripper days, it was almost as though he had simply sprung into existence in the library on her first day at Sunnydale High. There was still so much that she didn’t know about him. So much that she had never asked about. And it wasn’t that she didn’t care, or wasn’t interested, but Giles was such a private person. He would tell her if there was anything he wanted to talk about.

But, maybe, even if he didn’t want to tell her, perhaps he would like to be asked.

People liked to be asked things. They liked to be told things.

Like how much they meant to someone else.

Of course, he would never tell her that – he always put her first and never demanded anything for himself. Riley, on the other hand, competed with her in everything. He said that he loved her strength, but he actually resented the fact that she could beat him.

Giles pushed her hard, and the more she was able to best him, the happier with her he was. That was when he would get that certain look in his eyes. When he would look at her, the way no one else in the world looked at her.

Buffy stopped abruptly in the middle of the street. She felt as though she was hovering on the edge of a revelation, but she couldn’t quite make that final step. Unconsciously, she looked at her watch, trying to work out how many hours before Giles was back. Maybe, when she could look him directly in the face she would be able to make sense of what was happening. Put a name to the feelings that were sweeping through her. Until then, she hoped that whatever Giles was doing, he was enjoying himself.

Giles stared at the dark head pillowed on his chest. One hand was resting on her back. He could feel her breathing. It was only this steady rhythm that convinced him that he had not gone quietly and unexpectedly insane.

‘Are you ever going to say anything, England?’

Jenny pushed herself up and turned to look at him. She couldn’t remember how they had ended up sitting on the sofa, or how long they had remained entwined together. But now she had the desperate need to hear his voice.

‘I do remember rendering you speechless occasionally, but never for this long.’

He blinked at her and she could almost see the struggle to form coherent words; he raised a hand and gently brushed a lock of hair away from her face.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said at last, ‘I don’t think I can remember words, let alone say them.’ He was now running his fingers across her cheek. ‘I-I just can’t believe that you…you’re here, and I don’t understand…how, I’m – I’m not…it’s just…’ Giles broke off and took a deep breath, willing himself to come out of the daze that engulfed him.

‘In my wildest dreams, I held you again. I never thought that it would happen while I was still alive.’

‘You’re alive all right, England,’ she replied, ‘and perfectly sane. So don’t think you can go using the diminished responsibility card with me.’

At this, he actually managed a smile.

‘I wouldn’t dare.’

Giles suddenly released her, pulling away and looking her directly in the eyes, as though he had seen her for the first time.

‘I can feel that you’re alive – you’re warm.’ His hand slid down to her neck and he could feel her pulse under his fingers. ‘But I still can’t imagine how.’

Jenny sat back against the sofa, frowning slightly. ‘To be honest, I don’t really know. I am alive, for now. It’s just for tonight – that much I do know,’ she smiled at him wistfully.

Giles nodded in response.

‘Goddess, this is hard to explain. I was given this opportunity to come back. Some people are. To see those we were…close…to. Before. If you hadn’t been here, in Mexico, I wouldn’t have been able to.’

‘The Day of the Dead,’ Giles said softly.

‘Yeah. It’s all to do with some ancient mysticism and rituals. Which would all be very interesting if I could actually remember anything about it. It’s so strange – now that I’m here, I can’t really remember what it’s like when I’m there. And all of the things that I observed happening after I died are so much more real and vivid-’ Jenny broke off and sighed impatiently. ‘And I’m starting to think that that must be somewhere in your top ten of all time incoherent explanations.’

Giles smiled. ‘Not at all. And even if it were, it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. Not now.’

Jenny grinned at him. ‘You always did know how to sweep a girl off her feet.’

‘Indeed. And this time there isn’t a crossbow in sight,’ he responded, watching as she flushed slightly.

‘Hey, I made that up to you!’

They looked into each other’s eyes, both lost in shared memories.

‘Rupert, about what happened, the things I didn’t tell you…’

‘Probably wouldn’t have made much difference in the long run,’ he answered firmly. ‘You didn’t know all of it, either.’

‘Maybe not,’ Jenny replied dryly. ‘But keeping what I knew… It was part of the culture I grew up in, and-’

‘Jenny, you don’t owe me any explanations.’

‘Yes, I do. You were honest with me. You told me things about the Slayer and the Council, that I’m guessing you probably weren’t meant to.’

Giles cleared his throat. ‘Y-yes, well, um, that was…ahem…different.’

‘Cliché much?’ A voice asked in his head, which sounded frighteningly like Cordelia at her most sarcastic.

‘Well, I didn’t exactly repay it in kind. I was supposed to watch Angel and report back to my elders. But then I got involved; with you and Buffy – even Angel. And then, after a while, I stopped sending the letters, but I still felt some kind of loyalty to them.’ Jenny paused and then shook her head. ‘But it wasn’t just that. It was guilt. I’d already betrayed them enough and if I’d told you, it would have made the betrayal complete.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘I took the name Jennifer Calendar for myself. Then, after a while, I became her. The new age computer teacher with the liberal views who went out with the charismatic British librarian,’ Jenny smiled as she saw the slightly startled expression appear on his face. The smile faded as she continued. ‘It wasn’t just a name, it was who I was, and I wasn’t Janna anymore. Jenny was my new life – and you were part of that life. As much as telling you about Angel would have been betraying my tribe, telling you about Janna would have been claiming something I didn’t feel a part of. As though if I didn’t talk about it, it wouldn’t exist. Pretty dumb, huh?’

Giles leaned forward, gently cupping her cheek in his hand. ‘No, not “dumb”. I do understand, Jenny. I think I worked most of it out a long time ago. And I’ve had a lot of time to regret my own behaviour. If I hadn’t ignored you the way I did, then maybe-’

‘You were protecting Buffy. I understood that,’ Jenny stated. ‘And there was no way anyone could’ve known what was going to happen. I don’t think it could’ve been prevented, in all honesty.’ She gave him a slightly lopsided smile. ‘Well, so far this hasn’t exactly been the joyful reunion I pictured, but at least we established the mutual no blame club.’

He took her face between both his hands and laughed slightly. Breathlessly.

‘God, I missed you.’ His green eyes flared with a sudden intensity.

‘I know,’ she replied. ‘I know. And I’m so sorry – for the pain. Your pain. I would have done anything to spare you that.’

Her voice broke, and Giles lowered his head until their foreheads touched.

‘I was there, that night, you know,’ she continued, speaking quickly as though afraid she would run out of time. ‘I saw everything you went through, what he did to you. And then, that thing, wearing my face…’ Jenny shuddered, and she could feel his breath hot against her skin. ‘I wanted so badly to stop them, to let you know you weren’t alone, but there was nothing I could do.’

She took hold of his wrists, pressing his hands closer against her cheeks. ‘I tried to reach out to you, but then I felt the spell being cast and-’

Giles pulled away, his face alight. ‘It was you! I knew it! Willow said that she felt something entering her, giving her strength. I knew it had to be you… Your final wish.’

Jenny smiled, her eyes glowing.

‘I wanted it to work, but that wasn’t my final wish.’

He stiffened slightly, his eyes widening as though he had been caught out in some terrible faux pas.

‘I-it wasn’t? O-of course, it was…presumptuous…of me to think that I knew-’

‘Rupert.’

Her soft voice stopped his self-conscious rambling and he looked at her enquiringly.

‘That wasn’t my final wish,’ she repeated, her eyes shining. ‘This was.’

She leant closer to him, until her features blurred before his eyes and the scent of her hair overwhelmed him. Very gently, her lips brushed against his.

Jenny pulled back enough to focus on his face.

‘Th-that was your…’ he whispered.

She tilted her head, smiling gently. ‘You noticed that, huh? I told you; I wanted to be right with you. That never changed.’

She bent and kissed him again, lingering slightly longer. Once again, she pulled away, taking in his reaction.

Giles caressed her face, gently running his thumb over lips, before slipping his hand to the back of her head and pulling her down to him.

Jenny sighed as he took possession of her mouth, the increasing passion drugging her mind against all other thoughts. For the moment, her senses were intoxicated by the feel of his arms holding her, the heat of his body penetrating the gauzy fabric of her dress. She ran her hands through his hair, remembering the silky feel of it between her fingers, before locking them together behind his head. Her head fell back as Giles released her mouth long enough to begin a brief assault on the sensitive skin on her neck. Jenny couldn’t stop herself from letting out a faint moan as he sucked on her earlobe and then nipped the soft hollow just behind her ear. His hands slipped down to her waist and raised her slightly, pulling her across him until she straddled his thighs.

Giles gazed up at her, revelling in the sight of her flushed face, her swollen, slightly parted lips and her dark eyes, shining with desire. Even more beautiful than he remembered her, her body now moulding itself to his, Jenny was ensnaring his soul. Again.

Jenny settled herself happily on him, unconsciously licking her lips as she felt him, hard and strong, beneath her. Her hands broke away from his neck and roamed over his shoulders and chest before moving up to trace the chiselled contours of his cheekbones. His eyes were focused on her with the same intensity as their last time together. Jenny felt her pulse increase, her heart hammering painfully in her chest as she was overwhelmed by her love for this man. She was his again, just as she always had been.

His hands were roaming over her body, every nerve ending on fire under his fingers. He had found the hem of her dress and was slowly drawing the fabric up over her legs and she let out a sigh of pleasure as his hands met the bare, silky skin of her thighs. Jenny pressed herself closer to him as his hands caressed her – his agile fingers running up and down the back of her thighs until she was digging her nails into his shoulders in a desperate effort at self control. His hands continued their journey upwards, pausing briefly at the soft curve of her buttocks before continuing to her waist. Jenny drew away from him, releasing her grip on his shoulders but still keeping her gaze locked with his, only to allow him to strip her dress away from her completely. He pushed it up her body, his lips barely losing contact with the smooth skin of her neck and face. The dress fell to the floor and his eyes travelled down her body, his gaze a mixture of reverence and desire.

As he gazed up at her, Giles tried to remember the years of being without her – the agony of his grief and the desolate loneliness he had endured after he lost her. But he couldn’t. The lasting scars of that pain had vanished under the magic of her embrace and all he could feel was the electric ripple of excitement through his body. And she was so perfect: her honey coloured skin, her toned limbs, the soft contours of her firm breasts. Her eyes were great, dark pools shimmering down at him with a love that took his breath away.

‘Have you any idea how much I want you?’ His voice was husky, shaking slightly with passion, his hands tracing lines up and down her back.

Jenny managed a tremulous smile, her own voice barely above a whisper.

‘I have some idea.’

She caught his mouth in hers, her tongue tracing the outline of his lips before they parted for her and she groaned into his mouth as his teeth gently skimming her probing tongue. Giles broke away from her mouth and drew a trail of kisses down the curve of her throat. Once again, she twined her fingers behind his head, and let out a deep hum of pleasure as he kissed the soft underside of one breast, before he engulfed it in his warm mouth, his teeth grazing the passion-hardened peak.

Jenny slid her hands down his shoulders until they met the first button of his shirt and for a few seconds she fumbled with it until she was able to undo it. She could feel him smiling against his skin and she caught his chin in one hand, forcing his head up to hers so that she could both kiss him and look into his eyes.

‘You’re wearing too many clothes, England,’ she murmured, her fingers continuing to work the buttons of his shirt. He was still caressing her back and dropping long, warm kisses onto her breasts and shoulders, which only made Jenny’s task more difficult. She groaned in frustration as the buttons refused to obey her impatient hands.

‘Think you could give me a hand here?’ she demanded, even as his lips claimed hers again.

Giles’ eyes gleamed and his arms tightened around her possessively. Holding her closely to him, he stood up, carrying her effortlessly in one those surprising displays of strength that had always amazed her. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist and had the pleasure of feeling the skin she had managed to expose under his shirt pressed against now overly sensitive breasts.

‘All in good time, my love,’ he murmured against her ear. ‘All in good time.’

He shifted her weight in his arms slightly and they both groaned as the movement brought her warm centre into more intimate contact with his arousal. He stood still for a moment, enjoying the sensation of her limbs tightening their hold on his body and her breath coming in hot, shaky gasps against his skin. With her arms snaking around his neck and her mouth hungrily seeking his, Giles swiftly bore Jenny into the welcome of his dimly lit bedroom.

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