Title: Impassioned 5/6
Author: TweedEmpress
Rating: PG
Pairing: Giles/Jenny
Genre: Angst/Romance
Summary: Reworking of ‘Passion’. Jenny isn’t killed, but Angelus has his eye on another target.
**WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH**
Timeline: Season Two, spoilers up to ‘Passion’
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with BtVS (unfortunately). Some dialogue is lifted from ‘Passion’. Any original characters and ideas are mine.
Distribution: FanFiction.Net, ODD, Mystic Muse, Ms Calendar’s Site
Notes: A huge THANK YOU to Riley for her beta-ing skills, feedback and suport!
Dedication: To everyone on Ms Calendars Group – for keeping the flame alive!

In matters of Chaos, there is no telling exactly how things are going to turn out. A string of occurrences and coincidences starting from Jenny's decision in Sunnydale had led to that moment in a small room in Oxford when Ethan had glanced at a book. Sometimes it is in the small things that salvation is found. And the book that, apparently, promised so much certainly seemed to be a small thing: a battered, slender volume with a worn leather cover and grubby pages.

'Well?' Ethan asked impatiently.

'I'm reading.'

'Gods, woman, you've read it four times already!' He ran his hand through his hair, nearly pulling it out at the roots in exasperation. The silence in the flat had only been broken by soft rustling as Jenny turned the pages.

'This ... this is a real spell-book? I mean, it's not just someone's theories or something?' Jenny asked, finally looking up at Ethan.

He sighed theatrically. 'Yes, dear girl, it's a real spell-book. I'd actually credited you with some amount of intelligence until now.'

Jenny ignored him, her fingers tracing the lines of text on the page.

'I can't translate all of this properly – I need you to go over this. '

'I've already explained it-'

'Well explain it again.'

There was a desperate hunger in her eyes and Ethan sat down opposite her, taking the book.

'I can't translate it exactly – just a rough approximation. It isn' t a resurrection spell, it's a restoration spell. Let me see ... the soul being neither in the realm of angels nor of demons, but bound in the vessel of, of – chains of light? Something like the Orb, I suppose. Dust of the flesh and blood of the flesh are brought together...' His voice trailed off and Ethan read silently for a few moments. 'Usually in a resurrection spell, you begin with the body and pull the soul out of wherever it is. With this, you begin with the soul and then recreate the body around it.'

Jenny shook her head slowly. 'I've never heard of anything like that – not in all of the research I did.'

'I'd imagine that it didn't happen very often – the circumstances f or the ritual are very specific.'

So ... I'll get Rupert back? Just as he was?' Jenny asked softly. Still trying to come to terms with their discovery.

'Mm-hmm. Glasses and all, no doubt.'

She frowned. 'If Fenton had this, why didn't he use it. Why did he need us?'

'Probably didn't realise what he had, bloody tosser.' He rubbed his throat. 'You know, for someone with a terminal illness he has a remarkably strong grip.'

'Goddess, will you get over that? You're fine. Now, tell me what we have to do. What does blood of the flesh mean? We need Rupert's blood?'

Ethan stood up, wandering about the room.

'No. It means we need Alexa. Dammit, this isn't the way I wanted it to happen.'

'I thought you wanted to play the hero, make a big impression! What's your problem now?'

Ethan laughed shortly. 'Oh yes, I can see it now. "Alexa, we're bringing back Ripper. Now give me some of your blood." I didn't want her to know about this until afterwards, when I could give her something ... tangible.' He rubbed a hand over his face. 'Not to mentio n trying to track her down in the first place...'

'Hang on, you don't know where she is?' Jenny asked sharply, terrifie d that this chance could suddenly be taken away from her. 'You don't know where to find her?'

'Well ... I, er, know how to find her.'

'Well, that will just have to be good enough. When do we leave?'

Ethan shook his head.

'Sorry, Jenny, but this is a solo operation. It requires delicacy and-'

'You don't think I have delicacy?' Jenny snapped. 'You've tried t o leave me out of the loop at every stage, you're not going to -'

'Jenny, trust me!' he interrupted. 'It's best I see Alexa on my own , I know how to handle her. Look, we need her,' he continued before Jenny could say anything more. 'There's no-one else we can ask. Alexa is the only person who can give us everything we need and we need her on our side. She's every bit as stubborn and contrary as Ripper ever was. Approach her in the wrong way and, believe me, she'll say no; even if it's the thing she wants most in the world.'

He was, she knew, playing on her fears, manipulating her emotions so he could do as he pleased. But there was something in his eyes at that moment, a beseeching look that, for once, seemed genuine.

'All right,' she said, resignedly.

Ethan walked across to the sofa and then crouched in front of her, trying to catch her eye.

'There's still a lot of work to be done here, you know. You need to understand this spell completely before even thinking about performing it.

Jenny shifted position, her gaze moving restlessly around the room.

'I need to translate it before I can understand it properly. I can do that, I guess. Although, it would be easier if I had my computer...' She thought longingly of her laptop, her online group and how comparatively simple her life used to be.

'That's how you translated the original text? A computer programme?'

Jenny nodded.

'What do you need?'

She looked at him, one eyebrow raised. Ethan returned the gaze levelly.

'I'd need a computer – obviously...'

Jenny watched him hawkishly as she ran over the list of requirements – he listened without flinching and then nodded.

'Fine. You'll have them tomorrow.'

True to his word for what, Jenny felt certain, must be the only time in his life, the computer, the software and everything else she needed appeared in the flat the next day. Ethan seemed to be trying to make up for the fact that he was preventing her from seeing Giles' sister and, once again, Jenny felt it was wiser not to ask any more questions. He left that evening and Jenny spent nearly half an hour wandering through the rooms – the flat suddenly seeming empty and cold with just her in it.

She derived some small pleasure from being able to log on whenever she felt like and began to get the feel of her new, top-of-the-range laptop.

But the silence was becoming oppressive, until her ears were ringing with it and the slightest creak from the old floorboards under her feet made her jump. She realised, with an uncomfortable pang, just how much of her frustration she had taken out on Ethan, and just how much he had tolerated with a surprising amount of grace.

Jenny retuned the radio to a more upbeat station and sat down in front of the computer. She refused to miss Ethan Rayne.

***********************************

'Miss Calendar.'

Jenny frowned, the voice on the other end of the phone sounding vaguely familiar.

'Yes?' she responded, guarded.

'It's Brother Theo.'

She remained silent, her insides twisting slightly. She had liked him, trusted him... But the memory of what had happened in Fenton's room was still so vivid in her mind.

'I wanted to make sure that you're all right.' He paused and she coul d hear him breathing on the other end of the line. 'I heard what happened with Stephen Fenton.'

'I see,' Jenny replied, keeping her voice level.

'I had no idea,' he continued. 'None of us did. If I had... Jenny, I assure you I would never had arranged for you to contact him if I had known what would happen.'

There was a note of genuine distress in the monk's voice and Jenny felt herself relenting slightly.

'It wasn't your fault. As you say, you didn't know.'

There was a brief pause.

'If there is anything we can do to help you – to make amends...'

'No. Thank you, but no. I'm fine.'

Another pause.

'I hope that this doesn't mean you are giving up?'

Jenny closed her eyes, still debating how much she should tell him.

'I'm not giving up. We just ... I...' She took a deep breath. 'We f ound what we were looking for elsewhere. I'll return all of your books as soon as I can.'

'Yes, yes I know you will,' he replied gently. 'Give my best to Ruper t, when you see him. He knows where to find me, if he wishes.'

'I-I will.' Jenny blew out a breath. 'I'm sorry.'

'You have nothing to be sorry for, my dear. We failed you.'

'No you didn't! I got what I wanted – I might never have found it if it hadn't been for you. In a roundabout kinda way.'

She heard a slight chuckle.

'Ah – Chaos theory. Good luck, my dear.'

The phone went dead before Jenny could reply and she replaced the receiver softly.

***********************************

A desperate need for human contact drove Jenny out of the flat. Admittedly, she didn't know anyone she could go and talk to, but at least she could sit in a coffee bar and pretend to some degree of normality. It was after one of these afternoons when she returned and found the front door slightly ajar. She pushed it open cautiously, steeling herself against whoever - or whatever - she would find...

Ethan was sprawled on the sofa. He still had his coat on, but a nearly empty bottle of whisky stood on the table in front of him.

'Ethan?'

He half turned, his face suddenly lighting up with a near-manic grin.

'Jenny! How the hell are you?'

'Did you see Alexa? What did she say? Where is she?'

'Aren't you going to ask me how I am? Typical American, so bloody rude.' He lurched forward and grabbed his glass. 'Yes, I saw the lovely Alexa. Lovely...'

Jenny buried her face in her hands for a moment and then sat down on the sofa next to him.

'Ethan. What did she say?'

'I'll give you the short version. We wait.'

She stared at him for a moment.

'What do you mean "wait"? Wait for what?'

'For Alexa to make up her mind.'

'Make up her-' Jenny grabbed hold of Ethan's arm. 'You told me she 'd agree to this. What the hell have you been doing the last few days?'

He wrenched his arm out of her grip and stood up, swaying slightly.

'She said wait, we wait. That's it, all right?'

He stumbled to his room, slamming the door behind him. Jenny remained sitting. She was too numb to feel much of anything by now. Hope was slowly being eroded and she wasn't sure how much she had left.

***********************************

They waited. Day after day where they barely spoke to each other, the conversation usually consisting of stilted formalities. Jenny felt as though she were drowning: a black mixture of despair and weariness that was dragging her down until she was convinced she would never find her way back out again. The only thing that seemed to keep her going was a tight knot in the middle of her chest. Expectation. For when the phone would ring, or there would be a knock on the door and Rupert's sister would be there. A dramatic event that would shatter this terrible lethargy.

It didn't come.

But when Alexa did, finally, arrive it was both quiet and wholly unexpected. One Friday night when Jenny was curled up in one corner of the sofa, trying to force herself to watch the inane programme on TV, all the while she was aware of every second that crawled by. Ethan was in the armchair, staring at a point on the floor, when he suddenly raised his head, listening.

'What?'

He didn't reply, but tilted his head slightly.

'She's here.'

'Who's here? Wha-' She followed the direction of his gaze and gasped slightly. A woman had, literally, appeared in the corner of the room. Emerged from the air.

Ethan stood up.

'Hello, Lex.'

Alexa Giles looked at him silently and then turned her gaze to Jenny.

'You must be Jenny Calendar.'

It had never occurred to Jenny that Alexa would look like her brother. It was the eyes more than anything - soft green that held more than a hint of steel. The same curve of the mouth and the jutting cheekbones. The resemblance was so strong that for a moment, Jenny felt the breath knocked out of her. It was too much. Ethan should have told her, warned her...

She swallowed hard.

'Yes. Yes, I'm Jenny.'

Alexa nodded and took a few steps forward. She was wearing a heavy black cloak that emphasised her height so that she dominated the room, seeming to fill it. There was slight, damp sheen on her cloak and her face was pale, her beauty marred by the heavy circles under her eyes. She looked exhausted.

'Nice to meet you, at last. Although, I would have hoped for better circumstances.'

Jenny stared at her, the formal, inconsequential words so out of keeping with the turmoil that had just erupted in Jenny's mind. In her whole body.

'Have you ... have you decided what you're going to do?'

Alexa dropped her head slightly, breathing deeply.

'You realise what you're asking me to be a part of, don't you?' She asked. 'You must see how difficult this has been...'

'We understand,' Ethan replied. 'But we've waited long enough for y ou.'

She stiffened slightly at Ethan's voice, her eyes growing colder. Silver ice.

'I don't remember asking for your opinion.'

'I care about him too, Alexa,' he remarked quietly. 'And I know how much you lo-'

She whirled around, eyes flashing. 'You've never cared about anyone or anything apart from yourself. Don't you dare talk to me about how I feel about my brother! Don't you dare!' Her voice shook slightly and her throat was thick from suppressed emotion. 'I suppose he's been giving you the life story.' Alexa turned to face Jenny again. 'Rattling on about how badly done to he is? Talking about Rupert and me?'

'Er...' Jenny flicked her gaze from one to the other, fully aware that the last place she needed to be was caught between the two of them.

'What exactly did he say?'

Ethan was still sitting in the chair, his chin resting on clasped hands, his eyes closed. At Alexa's first angry words he had looked, fleetingly, extremely hurt. Now he appeared to be trying very hard not to hear what she was saying.

Jenny stared up at Rupert's sister, torn between not wanting to be involved in this fracas and wanting to keep Alexa on her side.

'He just said that he met you in London and tried to convince you and Rupert to stay there.'

'Convince?' Alexa laughed bitterly. 'Is that what you're calling it these days?'

Ethan opened his eyes, regarding her calmly.

'Shall I tell you how he tried to "convince" us? He tried to perform a casting on me that would keep me bound to him forever – and, naturally, that would have kept Ripper there as well because he wouldn't have left me.'

'It was a long time ago,' Ethan said.

'Yes. You wanted my power and you didn't give a damn what that spell would do to me. That's the way you've always been – do you really expect me to believe that you have no ulterior motives in this latest exercise?'

There was a pause before he replied. 'I don't think I need to remind you that this exercise wasn't my idea.'

The anger seemed to go out of her at that moment and she suddenly looked smaller and more fragile. Alexa let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose.

'No. I know.'

She raised her head to meet Jenny's eyes.

'How long was he ... I-I mean, how long was it before you ... used the Or b?'

'A few hours. No longer than that,' Jenny replied remembering, with a shiver, how his skin had still felt warm and soft.

Alexa digested this information and nodded slowly.

'Before I agree to this,' she started slowly. 'You have to promise me one thing.'

'What?'

Alexa's eyes burned silver. 'If something goes wrong, o-or if the spell doesn't work ... that you'll destroy the Orb. That you'll set him fre e.'

Jenny felt her chest constrict painfully. Alexa was offering her one chance to make it work. It wasn't much of a choice – Jenny's options were extremely limited – but it was still a choice. There were two pairs of eyes fixed on her and Jenny lowered her head, trying to hide the sudden, painful tears in her eyes.

There was no choice.

Finally, she met Alexa's gaze and, not trusting herself to speak, nodded.

Alexa let out a long breath.

'I have everything you need.'

From somewhere in the depths of her cloak she pulled out a small phial. Ethan took it from her and held it up to the light - the liquid sparkled a rich red. Blood red.

'Is that enough?' Jenny asked doubtfully. 'I mean, not like I'm ask ing for every drop you have, but...'

'It's enough,' Alexa replied, a faint smile on her lips.

This was followed by some other bottles, some liquids, some powders. And then a small urn. It took Jenny a few moments to realise what it was.

'You had him cremated, then?' Ethan said conversationally.

Alexa glared at him. 'No. We buried him, then after I saw you I dug him up and set fire to him. Of course he was cremated, you moron.' Her voice descended to a mutter as she spoke. She placed the urn reverently on the coffee table and then sat on the floor next to it.

'Ripper hated the idea of burial.' She said softly. 'He made me promise, years ago, not to... Too many vampire risings, I suppose.'

Jenny watched Alexa with interest. She was sitting next to the table, her legs curled under her and with her posture now a little more relaxed, she looked incredibly beautiful. Alexa was staring at the urn intently, her expression a strange combination of hope and desolation and Jenny wondered if that was how she herself looked to other people when she stared at the Orb.

'When are you going to do it? Alexa asked.'

Jenny glanced at Ethan and he shrugged slightly.

'As soon as possible. Tonight, maybe, if everything's ready ... Will you stay until it's done?'

'I...' Alexa tore her eyes away form the urn and looked at Jenny. 'No , I-I can't.' There was an unnamed fear in the depths of her anguished eyes. 'I left in the middle of something, I have to go back.' She laughed suddenly: a short, bitter sound. 'To be honest, I don't think I could face it - if something went wrong, I...' Alexa turned her head, drawing in a deep breath. When she spoke again her voice was calm, level. 'I've given you all you need, there's nothing more I can do. There are other people depending on me tonight... Maybe, when it's over, I'll come back.'

Ethan cleared his throat. 'Before you go, I,er, I have something for you.' He turned abruptly, walking into the other room.

Alexa sighed and pushed the urn away from her.

'How are you finding life with Ethan?'

Jenny rolled her eyes. 'He's probably the most annoying, self-obsessed person I've met in my life.' She paused. 'And yet...'

'You end up sort of liking him.' Alexa concluded with a rueful smile. 'Welcome to my world.'

'Did he really do what you said he did?' Jenny ventured.

'Oh, God, yes.' Alexa sighed dramatically, leaning back on her hands. 'He's also tried to channel the soul of some Egyptian mummy, using me as bait before now and I'm quite sure that he'll have something nasty up his sleeve for me in the future.'

'Couldn't you just turn him into something nasty and be done with it? '

Alexa flashed her a brilliant, devilish smile that reminded Jenny, once again, of Rupert.

'Oh Sweetheart, I've already tried that...'

Ethan emerged from his room, holding something wrapped up in an old velvet cloth.

'Did you miss me?' he asked smugly.

The two women regarded him in deathly silence.

'R-ight then. This is for you.' He held the cloth out to Alexa.

She got to her feet, eyeing the proffered item suspiciously.

'Will I still be in this dimension afterwards?'

The edge of hardness had crept back into Alexa's voice - she evidently felt more tolerance for Ethan when she didn't have to actually look at him.

He sighed. 'Will you just take it?'

Alexa took it gingerly, holding it in one hand and carefully pulling the cloth back with the other. Her eyes widened.

'But th-this is...' She stared up at him. 'Where did you get this?'

Jenny, surreptitiously, tried to see what it was, but it was hidden from view by the heavy folds of the fabric.

'This is incredibly powerful,' Alexa continued, looking up and fixing Ethan with a penetrating stare.

'I know.'

'What's the catch?'

'There is no catch. It's powerful - I could do a lot with that.' He allowed himself a smirk. 'A lot of beautiful Chaos. But I'm giving it to you. Just don't let it go to waste.'

They held each other's gaze for a long moment before Alexa nodded slightly and tucked the object into the folds of her cloak. She turned to Jenny again.

'I...'

There was nothing to be said and they looked at each other wordlessly, mutual understanding passing between them. Alexa gave her one final, small smile and then turned to leave. A more conventional exit than her entrance had been - she was heading for the door.

'I'll see you out,' Ethan said quietly.

He closed the door behind them as they walked into the tiny entrance hall and Ethan found himself suddenly pinned against the wall.

'Make this work,' Alexa said fiercely. 'I don't care how, I don't care what you have to do - just bloody make it work.'

'I will.'

Her eyes softened a little and she release his shirtfront, smoothing it down.

'Don't forget to do a cleansing ritual before you make the casting circle.'

'I won't forget.'

'And you should do a banishing spell too, just in case-'

'Lex,' he rested his hands lightly on her shoulders, 'I know.'

She gave him a slightly apologetic smile and gazed at him, wide-eyed. For a moment she looked far younger, almost like the scared, defiant fifteen year old he had met so long ago. Alexa leaned forward and, very gently, brushed her lips against his cheek.

Then she was gone.

*****************************

The room was illuminated only by candles and a heady scent of herbs filled the air. Ethan and Jenny both sat within the large circle they had created in the living room. The cleansing rituals had been performed and Jenny wasn't certain if it was just her imagination, but the air within the circle felt purer, somehow. Her stomach was fluttering and her hands were freezing cold. Now that they were actually about to perform the spell, now that the weeks of uncertainty and fear, desperation and dismal hope were over, she couldn't quite believe it was happening. She watched as Ethan skilfully mixed the items that Alexa had brought them. The urn was positioned in the very centre of the circle and Ethan was scattering around it the mixed powders. Jenny had the Orb clutched in one hand and the small phial of Alexa's blood in the other, clinging to them as though they were her life-lines.

'Okay, that's it,' Ethan said, straightening up. 'It's show time, Darling.'

Jenny blew out a breath and looked up at him, for once not minding the endearment.

'We better get on with it, then.'

'Jenny...' He stared down at her, feeling that the occasion called for a grand statement, but at a loss for what to say to her. Her eyes softened and she smiled gently.

Ethan took his place opposite her, sitting on the floor and balancing the spell book on his knees. The urn stood between them.

'Are you ready?'

'Yes.'

Ethan looked over at Jenny one final time and, taking a deep breath, began to read.

He began softly and for a while Jenny could feel nothing but the tension in her own body. Ethan's voice was the only sound, the rolling sound of that alien language filling the room. Jenny had translated the spell and read over it so many times that she knew it by heart, knew exactly what the words meant.

And then a feather-light breath of air brushed over her body. His voice grew in power and Jenny felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Little jolts of electricity were running under her skin - the feeling of magic at work. It was making her heart beat faster and she could feel it pounding in her chest, hear the blood roaring in her ears. Blood. Ethan raised his eyes from the book and looked over at her.

It was time.

Jenny inched forward and pulled out the stopper from the phial, pouring the contents into the urn. She moved back hurriedly. The crackle of electricity was stronger now and her whole body seemed to be vibrating with it, her fingers were trembling hopelessly. A thick, metallic smell filled the air and a dull red mist was slowly rising from the urn. There was a noise now, a low murmuring as though an invisible crowd were chanting softly.

It was getting more difficult to move, to think. Ethan forced his voice louder, breathing deeply to keep some control. Sweat was running down his face and he could feel the book shaking as he held it, the words jumping in font of his eyes. He could see Jenny through the mist, her face pale and her dark eyes glassy. He pushed himself on, almost choking on the cloying smell.

The mist had grown denser, a red cloud in the centre of the circle. Jenny moved forward again, this time holding out the Orb. She held it above the mist, unwilling to let it go. The silver-green ribbons within it were glowing brighter than ever, swirling furiously within the confines of the glass. She released it, and it hovered, suspended in the air. Almost at once, the ring of herbs and powders around the urn flared into life, great flames leaping up and licking the sides of the stone receptacle.

And in the heart of the fire, the Orb began to glow with a white heat. As the flames leaped higher, it began to shake violently, burning so brightly that Jenny's eyes were dazzled by the intensity. There was a loud crack and the Orb shattered, sending tiny shards of glass flying across the room. The murmuring sound grew louder, a roaring in their ears so that Ethan had to shout above it. The flames had nearly reached the ceiling: brilliant red with deep purple hearts. The red mist had become more dense and when it touched the flames, burning gold sparks shot out with loud cracks. The fiery maelstrom seemed to be generating an unearthly wind and Jenny's hair was whipped across her face, the roaring now combined with a high scream as the wind buffeted them.

And through everything, there was the brilliant heart of sliver-green that was spreading from the heart of the storm. It was reaching out, upwards, but the red cloud swirled around it, enveloping it, holding on. The flames roared and Jenny could feel their heat against her face; her heart was hammering painfully in her chest until she though it would give out. She could no longer tell which was Ethan's voice and which were the unseen chorus around them, but in the flames, in that area where the silver threads had been surrounded by the red, something had formed. Her eyes were streaming from the biting wind and she blinked furiously, trying desperately to see. The roaring was deafening and the flames were burning white hot, racing along the ceiling. They flared strongly and then suddenly extinguished, the deafening scream cut off. There was darkness and the sound of someone breathing heavily.

He flailed desperately in the sudden darkness, dragging air into his lungs. Someone was standing over him, saying his name.

Angel...

With a snarl he threw himself forward, pinning the other man against the wall, one hand finding his attacker's throat and squeezing grimly. He felt Angel clawing at his hand and felt a dim sense of triumph.

Except that the face looking back at him wasn't Angel's.

He let go and Ethan slid down the wall, whimpering piteously.

'Twice in nearly as many bloody weeks,' he muttered.

He staggered backwards, staring wildly around the room and found Jenny. She was standing, rigid, her eyes burning as she stared back at him. He shook his head - he had been at the school. Angelus had been there and they had fought, fought to the death...

Memory came crashing down on him and Rupert Giles sank to the floor.

*****************************

Jenny tapped on the door and then pushed it open cautiously. Giles turned and looked at her, his fingers faltering slightly with the shirt buttons. Ethan's shirt, he thought, with a shiver of distaste at the gaudily patterned silk fabric.

'Is it all right if I come in?' she asked, her voice sounding slightly hoarse.

He held her gaze and nodded slowly. Jenny slid into the room, not taking her eyes off him, and closed the door behind her. It wasn't the reunion she had imagined so often. In her mind, he had caught her in his arms, kissed her, swore he would never leave her again.

Instead, he was standing on the other side of the room, his posture guarded and a detached, faintly stunned expression on his face. Jenny felt a horrible coldness grip her insides.

'How - how are you feeling now?' she asked helplessly, aware of how pathetically inadequate the question was.

He reached up to take his glasses off and then realised they weren't there. His hand dropped back to his side. His limbs felt so heavy, as though his body had been filled with lead.

'I, er, I-I'm not entirely sure, to be honest,' he replied.

Jenny nodded and then sat down on the bed, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. He looked down at her, acutely aware of her misery and the first instinct in him was to go to her ... but something held him back.

A lock of glossy dark hair fell across her face and she tucked it behind her ear nervously. Her mouth had gone dry.

Why?' he asked softly

Jenny jerked her head up.

'Why what?'

Giles leaned against the bureau and sighed heavily. 'Why did you do all of this?'

She stared at him and felt her heart begin its erratic beating again; there was a horrid, metallic tang in her mouth and she swallowed hard.

'I did it for you.'

'That's a big decision to take on someone else's behalf, Jenny,' he replied, his voice far colder than he had intended. He saw her flinch and cursed himself for it, but still, somehow, couldn't go to her.

'It didn't feel like a decision,' she murmured. 'It was the only th ing in my head, I...' She looked up at him, her eyes burning fiercely. 'I had the spell, I had everything we needed and then...' Jenny took a number of deep breaths, trying to keep control. 'I was damned if I was going to waste it on him. It should never have happened!'

'But it did. He killed me Jenny - I was dead.'

'I know that!' She almost shouted it, her voice shaking. 'I don't n eed to be told what he did to you, I saw that for myself. Goddess, Rupert, I found you!'

He stared at her, bewildered. 'What are you talking about?'

The tears were streaming down her face now, her breath catching in her throat. 'That night, when I went to your apartment ... The wine and the candles... I thought you'd done it, for me, for us. And I went upstairs and I... and I... he'd left you there for me to find. He took you away from me and I wanted you back. I loved you so much... I loved you... I love you... Oh God, I'm sorry-'

All of the grief and pain and tears she had kept inside for so long, that she had never allowed herself to feel erupted, to the surface. Jenny buried her face in her hands and sobbed, incoherent sentences emerging from the maelstrom of her anguish.

Of how she had loved him, how Angel should have taken her instead...

Giles watched her, her cries tearing at him and tried to imagine himself in her position. He had a sudden, awful image of Jenny, dead, with a gruesome parody of romance arranged about her. And he knew the madness he would be capable of in the face of that...

Something snapped inside him and he crossed the room, dropping to his knees next to her.

'Jenny... Jenny, Darling, don't - please, don't...'

He pulled her into his arms, felt her body trembling uncontrollably against his, her face hot and wet against his cheek. She raised her head, gasping for breath, wiping her eyes roughly against her sleeve. Their eyes met and she stared at him for a moment and then slowly raised one hand, and traced the outline of his lips, her fingers gently feeling his face. That familiar warm softness crept into his eyes and a slow smile curled the corners of his mouth.

'Rupert...' she murmured.

He captured her face between his hands, staring intently into her eyes before, very slowly, lowering his head to meet hers.

'What was it like?' Jenny asked softly, some time later. 'I mean afterwards. After he...'

Giles rested his cheek against the top of her head, his hands tracing slow circles on her back through the fabric of her dress. It wasn't an easy question.

'It was incredibly peaceful,' he said at last. 'I can't describe th e sort of peace. One moment I was in the corridor in the school and then... Peace. And a lot of people, walking down the corridors. The dead, I suppose...'

He trailed off, trying to remember. The dead. And then an unimaginably bright light. And then nothingness. Something like sensory deprivation, but no real awareness of even his own consciousness. And at times it had been like that state between sleeping and waking. But the one thing that kept coming back to him, the only constancy in that sea of nothingness, was the voice. Her voice. Only in fragments, but it had been there with him, all the time.

'Rupert?'

He pressed his lips against her hair.

'Sshhh. Get some rest.'

'But-'

'Rest.'

********************************8

Giles closed the door softly behind him and paused for a moment, listening, before turning into the room.

Ethan was sitting on the sofa, a bottle of whisky and two glasses stood on the table in front of him.

'How is she?'

Giles stared at him silently for a moment.

'Asleep. She's exhausted.' There was a faint tone of accusation in hi s voice.

Ethan sat back against the cushions, meeting the cold green eyes.

'Aren't you going to ask me why I did this?'

'Oh, I know why you did it.' The eyes hardened further. 'You used her . You used Jenny's grief and desperation to further your own ends, you worthless-'

'What are you going to do, Ripper? Punch me? Knock me out? Go ahead. Make yourself feel better.' For once in his life, Ethan felt no fear in the face of his former friend's anger. It was an oddly empowering experience. 'No-one was going to stop Jenny from doing what she did and she could have ended up with a far worse crowd than me. She was lucky to have me. You know that. I've taken care of her.'

Giles snorted.

'I know what your idea of "taking care" is, Ethan. Alexa still has th e scars. Literally. By the way, did you really think that this would make my sister fall into your arms after all these years?'

'Whatever happens between Alexa and I ,' Ethan stated quietly,with more conviction than he actually felt, 'is between us. Frankly, it's none of your business.'

Giles looked at the man sitting opposite him, remembering. He had once loved Ethan like a brother. More than a brother. And his Ripper days hadn't been all bad - at the time he had enjoyed it...

He wondered vaguely if life after death gave everyone this somewhat more benevolent world view.

'Are you going to pour that bloody drink or not?' he muttered, flinging himself into the other corner of the sofa. The sound of liquid hitting the sides of a glass was welcome in the quiet room, and it was only then that giles realised that the radio was on, playing very softly in the background. The Shipping Forecast: soon to be followed by the drum roll and God Save the Queen, and a terribly pleasant voice wishing everyone good night.

'Here.'

Ethan pushed a glass unceremoniously into his hands and then raised his own.

'To life after death.'

Giles started slightly and glanced out of the corner of his eye. A slightly malevolent smirk was playing over the other man's features. Typical bloody Ethan...

Giles smiled and raised his glass.

'To life.'

NEXT