Title- Admissions of Guilt: prologue
Sequel to- Admissions
Author- Veronica
E-mail- roni.s@sympatico.ca
Pairing- G/W
Rating- g for now
Disclaimer- Joss owns all in the Buffyverse, I just use them like Barbie's for my own twisted fun.
Distribution- If you like it, take it… just let me know where.
Summery- An old nemesis is back, and is seeking revenge on Giles and Willow.

Time… what exactly does time mean? In all honesty, as smart as I am, I could never figure it out. Is time linear? Is the beginning really the end? Is the end just the beginning? Where does it start? And, where does it end? Time is such a confusing concept. One second your being told that you have all the time in the world… in the next breath your told it is a precious commodity. Not much comfort in those wacky words of wisdom.

I close my eyes and see such marvelous colours floating around before me, dancing and swirling, perfectly in sync with one another. Sync, synchronized, it all seems to be related to time. Wow… something I've never really thought of before-not that this is exactly the right time to think about it… or is it?

I once again open my eyes and see the faces looming before me. Now I know why I shut them in the first place. I see the fear in the eyes of everyone, but I really can't say that I feel any sort of emotion right now. I wonder if that's normal? I don't know if it is or not, but I'm quite content to not feel anything just yet.

Its amazing the things that go through your mind if you let it. Weird things, silly things. I decide to close my eyes again to see the colours I saw earlier, but it's different this time. Hmmm, again with the time. Anyway, the colours are forming pictures instead of the pretty swirling they were doing before. Too bad, it was kinda relaxing.

I can't really make them out yet, but the colours are so vibrant that it's almost breath taking. Its funny, cause right now its nighttime (time? Damn), but they are so bright and vivid… its like seeing them in the day. Wait a sec… second, minutes, hours. Why is everything related to time? Can't seem to get away from it.

Is everything connected to it or something? I don't know, but it's starting to tick (tock) me off! Damn! Wait, I'm starting to get tired now. Mind is going a little fuzzy at the moment. (Moment… I'm not even going to think about it)!

Okay, yes I will. I can't help but think about it, now that I'm seeing the past play out before my eyes. Yup, there's me with tears in my eyes… hiding that damnable yellow crayon behind my back! Have I ever told anyone how much I hate the colour `yellow'?

No? Mental note… tell everyone I hate yellow. Oh, and there we are in grade six. I'm helping Xander with his math again… which really means that I'm doing it for him, again. Hey! There's Jesse. He's helping me up off the ground after Harmony pushed me. I watch him as he gives me a hug and realize that I'd forgotten about that incident. He really was a sweetie.

I'm opening my eyes now, mostly to see if the others are still staring me at. I can't say whether they are or not…all I can see are the images from my past still. Maybe I didn't actually open them yet. Oh well, let's just go with it.

Okay, more pictures here… this one has Giles in it. It's the library… and the first time we met. He was so corny and sweet with his stutter. No wonder I had a crush on him in High School. It's a secret but, well… I miss the tweed suits he used to wear.

Now its Buffy… her first day of school, and she's asking me if she can sit with me at lunch. Boy! Look at me… I was such a dweeb! I dare anyone to argue with me on that one, cause frankly… it was true, look at me. Oh wait, I am looking at me. Yuck!

Ick… College, and I don't look much better. Yup, me and Oz… saying his goodbye's. `Willow, I can't stay here because of the wolf' blah blah blah. Uh huh, been there- heard that. Sooo over it now.

Eeeeew! It's the creepy `Gentlemen' things. Yup, trying to get into the room after Tara and I magically moved the pop machine in front of the door. Could've done without that memory. Oh hey… me and Tara in snuggle mode. Funny. I should be missing her, but I'm not. Wassup with that I wonder.

Okay… would like to have `NOT' seen Tara dead in my arms. Would really like to move on to the next one now. Cool! Look at me go… kicking Buffy's ass. Yay me. Hey, I'm actually a good fighter when I'm motivated. Look at me! And all I did was up my strength to be on a level with the slayer… the skill was my own. I'm impressed.

Oh, here we go… Xander's speech. Didn't need to see that again. And just for the record, it wasn't the part about the yellow (stupid colour anyway) crayon that got to me. He was willing to die by my side, that's what did it. Didn't matter that I was causing it… it was me he wanted to be with when the end came. That was so stupid… can't help but love the guy. Or, at least, I did. Not sure what I'm feeling now.

There I am… in Merry Old England. Such a beautiful countryside. I tried telling that to Buffy once not too long ago, but she wasn't really interested in hearing about that. Gee, go figure.

Now I'm lying on my cot, and Giles is sitting there talking to me. Telling me stories about when he was young and in a rock band, and his motorcycle. He was so sweet and patient… kept bugging the crap outa me till I finally gave up and responded. And here we go, the first words out of my mouth to anybody in almost two weeks…

"Giles… would you shut the hell up!"

Boy, that was original. Cute though… he didn't get mad or anything, just smiled and said, "Its about damn time you said something."

Yup… he's a card with the quick wit. HAHAHAHA! Hey, wait a sec… did I laugh out loud? Sec… second, that damned `time' shit!

Wait, there's Giles telling me he loves me. I wish I could feel what I was feeling when he said it. I can remember the feeling… guess that's as close as I'm gonna get to it. Wow, that sucks.

Terrific! Here we go with what just happened over the last few weeks. Really didn't want to remember all of that. Guess I have to ride this one out too, huh. Figures.

You know, silly though… again. I think all time is, is a story… in someone else's head. Yeah, kinda `Twilight Zone-y', but that's what I'm thinking. I'd like to see someone try and prove me wrong.

Well, here we are at the big climax of this entire thing… which means that this `life flashing before your eye's' thing is almost over. `Bout damn time! Time… I'm really starting to hate that word!

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