Title: "Finding His Place"
Author: Weezer
Summary: Giles Tries to Figure Out His Place In Buffy's Life
Spoilers: (Brief references to Joyce's death, Buffy's death (most recent one:) and Jenny's death. God, is there a trend here???)
Pairing: B/G
Rating: R/NC-17 (Angsty and sexy stuff)
Feedback: Welcome!
Use: No problem. If you want it, just ask Weez2424@aol.com
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine (belong to Joss- The-Brilliant, et al.), and I'm just having fun with them.

(Sorry, You're My Emma is not finsihed and may likely keep going on for a while. But, I had to do a bit of procrastinating at work, so I jotted this one down for a bit of fun and distraction. Hope you like it.)

Enjoy...

Giles walked into the house, stopped in the entry way and tossed his keys in the little ceramic bowl on the side table. He started to take a step to the left, and he caught himself. He froze. This was too familiar. Eerily familiar. It was like de ja vu, but worse, because he knew for a fact he had done the exact same thing the day before, and the day before that. Hell for the past six months, he had returned from work and made his same less-than-commanding entrance into this home.

Giles felt an odd wave of fogginess spread over him. He wasn't dizzy, he just felt somehow out of place. As if he'd just stepped into the wrong doorway and intruded on someone else's life. He scanned the view before him, from the stairs in front of him to the kitchen on his right and finally the living room on his left. It all looked familiar. It sort of felt like home, yet not completely. He helped pay the mortgage. He filled it with groceries. Hell, he even took care of the bloody lawn, but it wasn't his home. So that was it. He was a 47-year-old, surrogate-homeowner, surrogate-father, and surrogate-caretaker. Like a bloody substitute rugby player, who only saw action when the star player was hurt or worse. Of course, in his case, it had been worse. Joyce, his predecessor, had died suddenly about a year ago, leaving two daughters without a mother and a father who might as well have been dead for the part he played in his children's lives.

And so here he was. Still. Giles had stepped in when Buffy died, only a few months after her mother. He took care of Dawn and tried to give her some kind of stability. He wanted to do it, but he also felt he owed it to Buffy. And, more importantly, she was the Key and needed to be protected. Then Buffy returned. From the dead. God, could his life be even too far fetched for American television? Giles asked himself and found a weak smile cross his lips. He had to admit, he was stunned initially when he found out Buffy had returned. When the shock wore off, he had to admit he was also ecstatic to have her back. For all of the dangerous and foolhardy things Willow had done in returning Buffy to him, he should truly despise the young witch, but secretly, inside, he thanked her. Over and over again. God, he was a selfish bastard.

Giles hadn't even really admitted to himself how much he loved Buffy until she was gone. Of course, it's much easier to admit such things, when you know there's no way you'll ever have to face them. Then, to have her return. He thought he could confess the depths of his feelings to her, but he never seemed to find the right time, or more likely, the right words. He was sure it would, how do they say, "wig her out." And so his fear of rejection kept him silent. Silent for all these months. Living in the same house as Buffy, playing house with her in every way but the way he really wanted, and meanwhile the silent torture of being so close to his dream yet too weak to reach out and grab hold of it, was beginning to eat away at him. Day after day, he felt a little piece of him eroding away. God, after all these months, was there anything left of him?

Giles looked up the stairs as he heard a door open. He didn't realize anyone was home. He hear Buffy yell down, "Dawn?"

"Uh, no. Just me," he called up to her. She appeared at the top of the stairs. She was stunning. Her hair was up in a makeshift bun, her face was free of make-up, and she donned those wonderful sleek running pants that hung off her hips just so. She looked a bit flushed, like she'd been working out, but he saw the duster in her hand and realized she'd been cleaning. He'd done much of that himself back when she was--, well he knew it wasn't easy work.

"Oh, hi honey, you're home," she joked.

A sharp pain pierced his heart, and he thought "there goes another piece." He tried to temper the sting with a joke, "Just what I like to see, the woman cleaning the home. I assume dinner is on the stove?"

"Yeah, you wish. Of course with my cooking, you probably shouldn't 'wish,'" she laughed. "Hey can you come up here and give me a hand?"

"Like what? Do you need a strong man to move something for you?" he asked.

"Yeah, right. I'm the slayer remember?" she said.

"How can I forget," he said, taking off his coat and hanging it on the hook next to the door.

"I need you to sweep the floor while I lift the armoire," she said.

"I guess my ego should be shot," he said. He headed slowly up the stairs, unbuttoning his shirt sleeves and rolling them up a little on the way.

She smiled, "Oh, Giles, you're still the man of the house."

Giles tried to return her smile, but it was a little forced. Buffy seemed to notice his reaction, but before she could pursue it, he changed the subject. "Dawn not home yet?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh, no. I thought that was her. On that note, why are you home so early?" she asked over her shoulder as she headed down the hall.

He followed her to her mother's old room, now hers, that held the armoire. He couldn't help but watch the way her hips swayed. He took a deep breath and had to force it past the tightening in his chest. "It was a slow day and Anya seemed to have everything under control. I felt like playing a little, how do you say it, 'nookie.'"

Buffy turned on him and burst out in hysterics. "'Hooky', Giles. 'Hookie,'" she corrected him in between her giggles.

Giles turned a little red. "Oh yes, hookie. I played hookie. What's . . . nookie?" he asked, a bit concerned about the answer.

"Oh, just another word for 'bump and grind,' the naked tango, the wild 'thang', sex...," she said.

She would have continued, but he cut her off to save himself. "I get the point, Buffy. I shan't make that mistake again." He quickly walked past her into the room, completely red now from the neck up.

"Oh Giles," she said as she followed him in, "You're so cute when you're embarrassed."

He looked down and purposely did not turn to face her. "Indeed. As always, I am happy to be here for everyone's amusement." He took the last few steps to the side of the armoire.

"Hey, Giles. I was only kidding. Don't take it personally," she said, quickly coming up behind him. "I like that you're British and find a lot of our Americanisms ridiculous. It's refreshing." When he didn't turn around, she put the duster on the bed and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Giles," she whispered. "You know we don't keep you around merely for our amusement, right?"

He took a breath to re-group from the heat that raced through is body at Buffy's touch. "Uh-of course not. Just joking around, Buffy. British humor," he explained.

She kept her hand on his shoulder and turned him to face her. "You know you can't fool me, Giles. Are you ok?"

"Yes," he said trying to look as sincere as possible.

"I mean, I know it's a lot to ask of you, coming here, staying with us, helping us out in every way. It's way above and beyond the call of a watcher, ex or not."

"I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to, Buffy," he said.

"I know that. You're like that. You know, Mr. Helper guy, Mr. Caring guy, Mr. I'll-do-anything-to-help-anyone-out-whether-or-not-it's-good-for-me-guy. And you never expect anything in return." Buffy was serious now. She dropped her from his shoulder, so that her palm now covered his heart. "You have such a big heart, Giles. I just couldn't have gotten through this past year without you."

"Nor I you," he whispered.

She looked down when she realized he was referring to her untimely and short death. "It must have been hard on you when I died. Stepping in, taking on the responsibility of keeping the house, taking care of Dawn, continuing the patrolling...," she said.

"It was hard for other reasons too," he added, his voice breaking near the end. Buffy looked up at him, confused. He was almost offended. He answered, a bit harsher than intended, "Do you honestly believe your death didn't affect me, Buffy? God, I...I." He stopped and dropped his gaze to the floor.

"What?" she asked.

Finally, he could hold back no longer. It was as if the chipping away at his heart from holding back all these months, now had weakened his resolve so much, that it was forcing itself out. He couldn't bury his feelings any longer. He raised his head slowly to look at her. "I was crushed," he whispered. "When I saw you fall, everything froze. And I couldn't catch my breath at all. Then, from the moment I carried you away, it was all about going through the motions because I had to. Because some had to. Dawn was still the Key, there was still evil out there, the others were so lost. I couldn't just collapse like I wanted to."

"You...you...I mean, I guess I knew as a watcher you'd be sad to see me go, but you knew it had to happen some day. And I suppose as a friend you'd be sad too, but...," she couldn't seem to grasp the effect it had upon him.

Part of him was amazed at the utter lack of observation in this woman. He had the momentary desire to just shake some sense into her. Instead, he took a deep breath and placed his hand on hers, holding it tighter against his heart, "I was more than sad, Buffy." Buffy felt his heart beat a bit faster and looked at his hand as it held hers. "Do you feel that, Buffy? My heart is beating for you. I think it's always beat for you. Without you, I would be nothing more than a zombie walking through life."

She stared at his hand, trying to avoid his eyes. What was he trying to say? Was she reading this wrong? Buffy felt a flutter in her stomach, as he took her hand, held it in both of his for a moment, and then raised it to his lips. She felt his lips brushed her hand tenderly. Buffy continued to avoid eye contact, unsure of what she was supposed to do and focused entirely on her discomfort at being caught off guard. Then, something moist hit her hand, gently, like a raindrop, and she realized he was crying. Oh god, she scolded herself for once again being so self-centered and oblivious to the feelings of those around her. Buffy looked up and saw the glistening in his eyes.

His face was full of pain. She could almost feel his heart breaking in two as he whispered in a wavering breath, "I love you, Buffy. I don't expect anything from you; I just needed to say it. Get it off my chest."

"Giles, I...," she stuttered.

"Shhh," he said, letting her hand go and touching a finger tip to her lips. "You don't have to say anything. I did not say it to make you feel uncomfortable, or to ask you to do anything in return. I know you don't feel the same way. It's just the folly of an old man. But, well, I guess I just wanted you to understand, needed you to understand that I do what I do because I love you. And I love Dawn too, but I only lover her as a daughter." Giles removed his finger from her lips, but Buffy could still feel his skin on her them. Electricity had surged through her at his first touch. And at that moment, she had felt all the love he had for her shoot through their contact point in a flash.

He turned and took a breath. "So, shall we tackle the evil dirt that has invaded your room?" he asked. Giles grabbed the broom and held it ready.

Buffy stood dumbfounded. All she could do was stare at his back, relishing in the feel of his touch against her lips and the sound of his voice when he said he loved her. How tortured he had sounded, how hard it had been for him to confess his secret to her. And how sure he was that she would never feel the same for him.

When Buffy didn't come to lift the armoire, Giles turned to her again with a soft smile, "Buffy?" he asked, then saw her expression. "I'm sorry, Buffy," he said, losing his smile. "I've upset you."

"No, Giles," she whispered. "Not upset. Just ...I don't know. It's a lot to process. You know me, Ms. Oblivious. But how long have you? I mean when did you?" God, she couldn't even say it, she scolded herself.

"I think from the moment you came into my life it started. Then watching you grow, seeing how deep your character ran, how much capacity for love you held, and that blasted sense of humor...yes, I do believe I've been falling in love with you more and more each day," he said, suddenly able to speak about it with a smile. Perhaps it had been what he needed, to get it off his chest.

"More and more each day? So, after five years, you must...I mean," she stopped.

Giles softly chuckled and smiled, "Yes, Buffy. It runs pretty deep."

"Oh God, Giles. I...I don't know what to say. I mean ...," she couldn't believe how much she was stuttering. If he wasn't in so much pain, he'd probably be laughing at her right now.

"Like I said, Buffy. You don't have to say anything. I didn't tell you to put you on the spot. I mean I suppose I can't honestly say a part of me didn't fantasize that you would hear my words and jump into my arms and scream 'its about time, I've been waiting to hear those words forever.'" He smirked when he saw her smile. "But, I think I told you more for myself. For my own sanity. I have held this in for so long, and then now living with you, I find myself going insane. I thought it might help if you knew, so maybe you could go easy on the sex jokes, the "high honey I'm home's," and sadly enough, go easy on the clad dress around the house." He sighed, then added, "Oh how I wish I could have held that one back, because Lord knows I love the way you look, but since I've started this complete honesty thing, I might as well finish. Seeing you in those skimpy clothes nearly sends me into mini-coronaries."

She blushed, "I-I'm sorry, Giles. I didn't know." Giles couldn't keep from rolling his eyes. She smirked when she saw his reaction. "OK," she said. "Complete honesty, right?" He nodded, still smirking. "Well, I guess if I were being completely honest, I'd have to say that I dress that way because I know guys like it." She paused. "OK, not just guys, but I think I sensed you liked it. It made you uncomfortable, and for some reason I liked that."

"You sadist," he smiled.

"I liked that I could do that to you. I mean I hadn't seen you as a...well, as a man until Olivia. Well, OK, also with Ms. Calendar. . .," she paused and looked at him sadly, not wanting to stir painful memories for him.

"It's ok, Buffy," he said. "I'm able to think of Jenny and enjoy the nice memories now."

She smiled, relieved. "Well it's just, when she died and I saw what it did to you, I thought, 'My God, he loved her so much.' And I know I should have felt bad...bad for Jenny; bad for you. And I did, really. It's just...," she stopped now and dropped her head in shame.

"What?" he asked, completely lost as to what she was trying to say.

"It's just ...God, everyone's right, I am so self-centered," she said, still studying the floor.

Giles set the broom against the wall and walked the few steps to stand before her. He put his hand under her chin and raised it up to look at her. "No you're not. And I don't want to hear you say such things. You're one of the most caring people I know Buffy. You've devoted your whole life and sacrificed so much for others...for your classmates, for your friends, for your family, and for the world."

"Yeah, well then how come when we were standing at Ms. Calendar's grave and I saw how crushed you were, the first thing I felt was jealousy," she asked.

"What?" he didn't understand.

"I was jealous because of how much you felt for her, how much you loved her. How she got to get inside your heart like that," she said, trying to drop her head again, but finding his hand providing resistance.

"Buffy," he whispered. "God, have you heard nothing I've said? You have gotten inside my heart. My god, you did. Even before Jenny. I don't deny that I loved Jennie, that I was crushed when she died, but I have to admit that I was already in love with you by then. I just didn't realize it. You have gotten inside me, you've gotten so deep inside me that I didn't think I could go on when you died. All I wanted to do was find some bloody demon or vampire and let him put me out of my misery. But I couldn't. I owed you more than that. And I knew, I had to take care of Dawn."

"Y...you, wanted to die?" she choked, tears filling her eyes.

Giles reached his hand up to her cheek and wiped a tear away with his thumb. "Buffy, I--," he was choking up too. "I'm sorry. I know that would have been a selfish thing to do, and I have to admit I almost did it. But for some reason in the end I couldn't go through with it. And when I came in that door and saw you standing there, I thanked God every minute that I didn't do it. You were back, and had I gone to spike or Angel even, I'd have missed out on your return."

"Oh, Giles...," she was crying now. She fell into his chest, her fists clenching his shirt, while she buried her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and held her to him as she sobbed. "The thought of you dead ...oh God, it hurts too much to think about. Please, promise me. Promise me you'll never do anything like that again, you'll never put yourself in unnecessary danger."

He held her tighter, resting his cheek on her head and whispered, "I promise, Buffy. I promise."

"I couldn't go on without you. I couldn't have survived this long without you. I need you, Giles," she said.

"Buffy, I...I want you to know that you're more than capable without me. You've grown into a strong, independent and wise woman. You're very capable of taking care of yourself and Dawn," Giles said.

She pulled away, ready to debate her worthiness. "Yeah, right. How capable? I borrow money from you. Hell, I haven't even contemplated how I'm going to repay you, so it's not even like a loan. I rely on you for everything."

He smiled, and cupped her cheek, running thumb over her skin to wipe away some of the tears. "Perhaps, but there are some times in a person's life when they have to lean on their friends a little. It's not like you had to deal with normal life problems, you had to deal with demons, and death and the pressure of saving the world in addition to the normal life troubles. But, I do admit, I have allowed you to get comfortable and continue to rely on me more than necessary, and probably more than is healthy. For either one of us," he added.

"What are you saying?" she asked pulling away and taking a step back in panic.

"I'm just saying that I need to let you stand on your own two feet or you'll never accept that you have the strength to do so," he said, a bit confused at her panic.

"You're not...leaving me are you?"

"No, no," he said, taking a step toward her and placing his hands on her shoulders. "I just think I need to start ...Oh I don't know, pursuing my own life a little more. I don't travel anymore. I don't play guitar at the coffee shop anymore. And I haven't dated in God knows how long."

"God, I should have seen it before now," Buffy said, placing her hand over her mouth in horror.

"What?" he asked, lowering his gaze to level with hers in concern.

"I've basically sucked you dry. I mean I just kept asking and asking and taking and taking what you offered, and I took it for granted that any time I had a problem, whether money with the house or last minute babysitting with Dawn, I just assumed you'd be there ready willing and eager to bail me out. God, I'm so horrible. I just keep taking you for granted again and again. Evan after I promised never to do it again after last summer. And here I am." Buffy pulled away and dropped herself onto the bed. She sat on the edge and just stared at her hands on her knees. "I'm so bloody selfish," she muttered softly, in wonder at her own capacity for selfishness. Giles chuckled, and her face shot up, pissed. That was not the reaction she was expecting. Couldn't he see, she was sitting here hating herself. He should be agreeing, not laughing. "What's so damned funny?" she asked.

He sat down next to her and placed a warm hand on her back. He leaned his head over and whispered, "You said 'bloody.'"

Buffy took a moment to review her last statement and found herself chuckling a bit. "Yeah I did, huh?" she sniffled and wiped her face with her shirt. "I guess you're rubbing off on me."

He smiled, "I think we have learned a lot from each other Buffy." Giles reached up and guided a few bangs away from her face and tucked them safely behind her ear. "I think we can learn a lot more too."

Buffy looked into his eyes and saw the familiar warmth that was always there. The look that gave her such a feeling of safety and calm. God she had been so dense, it wasn't the love and pride of a father. It was love. Like a...like a man. The realization sent a flutter through her body again. She found herself leaning closer and reaching her hand up to his cheek, completely mesmerized by the idea of Giles as a man. She caressed his cheek with her thumb, and noted how it affected him. His soft sigh sent shivers running through her. She wondered if the shivers were going through him too. Suddenly, she wanted to know more, to see more of his reaction, to elicit more of those sounds. She found her gaze locked on his lips. She wanted to feel them again, only this time with her own. Buffy slid her hand behind his neck. She took a moment to run her finger tips through his hair a bit, and watched as his eyes closed and his head leaned back into her grasp. She massaged his neck a bit and saw his face contort in pleasure. She had to hold back her gasp as his soft moan sent a charge to her abdomen. Before she knew what she was doing, her hand was gently pulling Giles' head down towards hers, and she was leaning up to meet him.

"Buffy...," Giles hesitated, holding against her tug. His eyes were still closed, only this time she saw his pleasure erased by frustration. "Don't. Please."

"But I want to," she said.

"No, please," he said, opening his pleading eyes. "I can't take a pity kiss. I just can't."

"It's not pity that's making me do this, Giles," she said.

Giles searched her eyes for some sign that she was lying or just fooling herself, but he couldn't find any. All he found was a look of love and a glint of desire. Did she want him? Giles had no time to ponder the answer, because Buffy pulled him the rest of the way to meet her lips.

Their kiss began soft, both just trying to get used to the feel of their lips touching. Giles gasped a little, and in doing so, took in some of her breath from her. It seemed to send a charge running through him, and he tried desperately to fight it. He had no idea where this was going or where it should go, but suddenly it didn't matter because Buffy was taking control. She pressed her lips into his again, tenderly at first, and he heard her moan a little. Was that pleasure? Was she enjoying kissing him, because God help him he was ready to burst at his seams from kissing her. She pulled back for a second and a wave of disappointment shot though him. She'd come to her senses, he figured; it was as he'd feared, a mere pity kiss. Or perhaps just one born from curiosity, but it didn't make her do flip flops, it wasn't affecting her the way it was him. He felt his heart begin to suffer that final break. The crack that would sever its haves completely, leaving him eternally empty. Giles let his head hang down, defeated.

Buffy reached this time to pull his chin up, and looked in his eyes. What Giles saw there was not what he'd expected. No "Ewwws,'" or "Nah, not interested" looks, but instead he found a fire he hadn't seen since he saw her look at Angel. Before he could process what was happening, Buffy leaned into him again, this time kissing him harder. She kissed him aggressively, trying to convince him that she wanted him. Her hands were mussing in his hair and rotating his head so she had a better angle at his lips.

Giles' body finally took over. He could no longer think, rationalize, question or doubt. All he could do was react. His hands found her head as well, and they both began devouring each other. His tongue battling hers, like they would in a sparring session at the shop. They were groaning and whimpering with pleasure and frustration, as if they both wanted to get deeper and deeper inside the other, but their mouths could only provide so much intimacy. They both pulled away for a moment, gasping for breath. Buffy looked into his eyes, almost shocked at herself, at her reaction, and at the feelings for him she discovered buried inside of her. What Giles didn't see was doubt or regret. God, she loved him too; he was so happy, he almost found himself giggling like an idiot, but he maintained and settled on a smile.

Buffy returned his smile, reached up to touch his lips with her fingers, and whispered, "Wow."

"Wow, indeed," he said. He waited however to see where this was to go. He still couldn't believe that this was happening. That he wouldn't wake up in a cold sweat from another wonderfully frustrating dream. "Am I dreaming?" he asked. She dropped her hand from the back of his head to his side and pinched his little love handle. "Ow," he jumped a little.

"Guess not," she giggled.

"You mean, you... God, I can't even bloody say it." He paused and collected himself. "You ...really want me? In that way?"

"Yes Giles. And before you say it, that was not a 'pity kiss' and whatever I do with you next will definitely not be out of pity."

Giles' eyes went wide and before he could protest, Buffy was leaning in and kissing his neck. Her hands fumbled at the buttons of his shirt. An "Oh God" slipped out from him as she ran her tongue over his Adam's apple, and he felt her smile with pride against his skin at having elicited such a response from him. His hands began to fumble their way across her back, exploring her muscles and curves, all the while caught up in her exploration of him. She had his shirt completely unbuttoned except for one stubborn button at the bottom. She pulled away and he saw her famous pouty lip. She smiled up at him when she saw his face full of desire and accompanied by soft panting. Then, with a devilish little grin, she took both sides of his shirt and ripped the final button apart. The obstinate little round piece of plastic flew across the room and bounced across the floor. He followed its trail in shock and then jerked his head back to look at her when she yanked his shirt out of his pants. He inhaled sharply and she grinned.

"Let me guess, Oh god?" she asked.

"Nope, this is definitely a 'Dear Lord' moment," he said and she giggled.

Buffy reached up to slide his shirt off his shoulders and as she worked it off his arms, she leaned in to kiss his bare chest. Once his shirt was off and his arms were free, he caught her face with his hand and lifted her into thorough kiss. He devoured her mouth, this time being the aggressor. It caught her off guard and she gasped as he took control, taking a portion of his breath this time. Her hands ran wildly over his bare back as he pulled her to him. She felt his bare chest against her and wanted desperately to shed her clothes so she could feel his skin against hers. They were both panting and fumbling and giggling as they explored new frontiers. He reached down her back and ran his fingers back up, underneath her tank top. Buffy inhaled sharply and her body jumped into him, a little startled at the touch. She suddenly couldn't get close enough to him. Still kissing him, she turned her body and brought one leg over his lap, so that she now straddled him. Still holding herself up on her knees, she leaned down to kiss him, her arms completely engulfing his head and pulling and twisting at his hair. Giles moaned and then yelped softly in pleasurable pain when she pulled a bit too hard. Buffy laughed into his mouth as she kissed him, and he responded by squeezing her tighter to his chest.

Buffy began to work her kisses toward his ear, nipping and sucking along the way, with an occasional dart of her tongue into his ear. This would elicit a little louder groan from him. Mmm, she thought, obviously a sensitive area. Take note. Buffy smiled, pleased with her reconnaissance and continued downward. As she brought her mouth to his neck and to his bare shoulder, she lowered her hips so that she now sat on his lap. She felt his building erection against her they both gasped as she leaned into him. "Goddd," he moaned, letting his head roll back. Her lips quickly turned their attention to the front of his chest. She couldn't help but grind herself down more at the feel of his hardness against her. She was quickly becoming moist, and ultra-sensitive. The feeling he sent through her was one of radiating heat and she squeezed him into a tight embrace.

"Oh Giles," she moaned into his chest hair.

Giles had to take a moment to stop and recuperate, lest he embarrass himself right then and there. He pulled her head away from his chest and tilted it up to look at him. "You don't have to do this," he said, with little heart behind it. And he knew his eyes, hell every inch of his body, was pleading with her not to stop.

"I want to," she said, and added before he could interject, "and for all the right reasons."

"Oh god," he said in disbelief.

"Need me to pinch you again?" she asked with a devilish grin.

"Maybe later," he whispered with a smoldering smirk.

Buffy giggled, but was soon cut off by his mouth on her again. God could he kiss. All those years of practice? This was not a repressed British Librarian, that's for sure. Damn he was sexy. She kissed him back hard and they continued their battle, both trying to outdo the other. Their arms were attacking each other's backs, pulling and tugging and squeezing and scraping. She found herself grinding down into him, without out even realizing it until she felt Giles moan/whine into her mouth. "Oh God Buffy, please stop. I don't want to..."

She chuckled and finally showed him some mercy. "God I want you," she whispered in a husky voice. She smiled as she felt him twitch beneath her at her words. "Looks like I'm not alone in this."

He smiled at her, and then his smile was replaced by desire and purposeful intent. Buffy's breath caught in wary anticipation. In one quick move he lifted her tank top over her head and off of her arms. She sat astride him now, clad only in a bra and shorts. His face softened for a moment as he took her in. "God you're so beautiful," he said. She smiled at him; he could be so honest, so convincing. He leaned in and kissed her skin above her bra line, gently. She gasped and arched into him. It set him off and he was soon ravaging her breasts with kisses. His tongue explored and he nipped here and there, smiling into her chest as he heard her soft yelps and sighs. He reached a hand up and pulled one strap down, allowing a breast free. He dove at it, taking her nipple in his mouth, sucking and wrestling it with his tongue.

"Oh God, Giles," she moaned. He smiled and did the same to the other side, so that now her bra was merely a strap around her waist. He quickly undid the clasp and tossed the bra to the side. "Mmm, very talented," she said.

"I hope to hear that again in a while," he said with an enticing grin.

She pulled him to her and kissed his shoulder, biting and nipping, and pressing her bare chest into his. God it felt wonderful to have the cloth barrier removed. His skin and soft chest hair teased at her nipples. She pulled back and looked at him, taking a moment to caress his cheek with her thumb. She wanted to reassure him in every way that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. She leaned in, still staring into his eyes , kissed him softly, and then whispered against his cheek, "Make love to me Giles."

"Oh Buffy," he whispered. "How I've longed to hear you say that."

He turned and in what seemed the most graceful move ever, he rolled her onto her back, resting against her side. His arms framed her sides and his hands cradled her face. He smiled and then leaned forward to kiss her lips. He breathed her in and then leaned to the side, to place kisses along her bare shoulder. Meanwhile, he trailed his fingers over her breast and stomach. Buffy suddenly inhaled as he went lower, and she tensed up a little.

"Ticklish?" he asked, his eyes dancing with excitement.

She slowly nodded yes. He smiled and traced his fingers down her hips. Moving his leg, he slid off the bed so that he was on his knees before her. He continued tracing her legs, and gently held her foot up to kiss her ankle. She breathed sharply and he smiled. He held her gaze for a moment and then began to kiss his way up her leg. She leaned up on her elbows, so she could watch him as he leaned in to kiss her inner thighs. She moaned as his hands gently pushed her legs open for him. As he neared her center, she tensed a little. He looked up and met her eyes, "Trust me?"

"Always," she answered.

With another reassuring smile, and a sense of satisfaction that he would be the first man to taste her, he leaned back down. God, how he wanted to taste her. To make her squirm and feel her come on his lips. He blew a soft breath across her lips and curls. She gasped and her hips bucked up. He chuckled softly. He reached up and held her thighs just below her hips. Not hard, but more so for leverage. Then, he leaned in and kissed her softly. He groaned at the feel of her moisture and found himself gasping this time. He took his tongue in one long stroke from bottom to top, stopping just before her little round nub. He felt her let her head fall back into the bed as her hips began to writhe beneath his hands. He steadied her, and smiled as he heard her breathing grow short in anticipation. He darted his tongue out to run it quickly against her clit. She let out a soft cry and it drove him wild. He dove in and began licking and kissing and nipping and sucking. She was going crazy now, and as he felt her body involuntarily try to grind against him, he grew more aggressive. He used his tongue to show her just what he wanted to do to her. He stuck it into her opening and forced it around her walls. "Oh, God," she cried. "Giles, I...," but she couldn't find the words.

He smiled into her as he worked her with his mouth. He lapped up the juices that were now flowing freely from her. He brought one hand back to help him bring her to that point. As he sucked and kissed her lips, he slid a finger inside her. She gasped and arched into him, swallowing his finger deeper within her core. She was so wet and welcoming, he slid another one in this time. "Ahh" she cried and drove her head back into the bed, while she tried to drive her hips down harder against him. "Please, Giles. Pleaseee," she cried out, her body demanding completion.

He began sucking her clit wildly, all the while, slipping his fingers in and out of her quickly, occasionally stretching his fingers out so that they impacted her walls upon entry. Her breaths now came in short and sharp gasps, developing a rhythm in time with his thrusts. "Oh, God," Buffy cried in a low moan, "Oh God, Giles. So ...uh ...Goood." Suddenly, he felt her hit that edge and fall over as she screamed his name and bucked into his hand. He held her hips and ground his face into her, holding his position and his tongue on her clit. He felt the spasms against his skin and it drove him mad. He was so hard it was beginning to hurt. But he continued to hold her, holding his own breath, until she fully released hers and relaxed back onto the bed. Finally, she let out a long sigh and he felt her entire climax dissipate with the release of her breath. He pulled his face away, after giving her a final soft kiss on her curls, as if placing a bow on a present, then looked up at her with a smile.

He found her completely sated. She opened her eyes and looked at him, stunned. "Wow" she whispered. He smiled, completely pleased for her and with himself. She patted the side of the bed next to her. "Up here," she whispered. He grinned and got up to lay next to her again. "That was incredible," she said. He began to trace her now sweaty breasts. "I've never...," she was a little embarrassed and couldn't say the words.

"Don't be embarrassed. I'm glad I'm the first man to taste you. You deserve to be worshipped in every possible way," he said, leaning down to softly kiss her breast. He breathed her scent in.

"God Giles. I...I, I came so hard," she looked at him serious and in shock that anything could feel so good.

"I'm glad. And I plan on making it a regular thing," he smiled.

"I want to taste you," she said.

His eyes went wide. He hadn't expected, but before he could protest, Buffy seemed to find her second wind and pushed him over on his back. He tried to say something, but she "Shushed" him and slid her body down his, quickly mimicking his prior position. She slowly traced his bare abdomen with her fingers and heard him inhale sharply. She smiled with pride this time and slid her fingers under the waistline of his slacks. She felt him tense up to prevent from bucking up into her. She slowly undid his belt and pulled it out from under the loops. She tossed it to the side and began to work on his button and zipper. Once free, she paused to take in the sight of his erection, as it strained against the material. God, Giles was a man. How did she ever miss it? The idea seemed ludicrous to suddenly be springing upon her now, especially after he just gave her the best orgasm of her entire life. But for some reason, seeing him reacting to her this way, feeling the heat radiating off of him, brought it to reality for her. And the thought tantalized her. Inspired, she yanked his pants down. At her insistent pout and whimper, he chuckled and lifted up his hips to help. Once she had his slacks off, she returned to her position before him. "So, it's boxers," she said.

"Didn't realize there was a debate," he said chuckling.

"Oh god yeah, ever since high school," she said. He could only respond by raising a curious eyebrow.

Buffy felt herself practically dripping down her thighs as she saw the fly of his boxers barely holding him in. She slid her hands up his hips, and slowly pulled the waist line of his boxers down. She looked at his eyes, showing him the desire she felt and held his gaze as she pulled the shorts the rest of the way off. She traced his legs down, and pulled each foot out of the material, pushing the clothing aside. She retuned her gaze to him, naked before her. She breathed in deeply, taking him in. God he was beautiful. She'd never really thought that word fit a man before, but somehow it just fit him.

Buffy reached forward and softly traced the underside of his penis from bottom to top. She looked up in wonder as he shuddered. God, I'm doing this to him, she thought. She smiled at him, but found he was incapable of smiling at this point. A look of anticipation, earnestness and internal struggle to maintain was mixing in his face. It drove her wild. She leaned forward and repeated the path her fingers had just made with the tip of her tongue. "Oh God," he gasped, and she sensed him grab at the bed spread. As she reached the tip of him, she licked the moisture from his tip. He tasted weird. She thought it'd be gross, but it was salty and creamy, and somehow, just knowing it was Giles, made it delicious. Buffy could hold back no longer and finally took him in her mouth. She felt his hips involuntarily buck up, but she easily held him in place with her hands. "Sss-sorry," he managed to hiss. Buffy just smiled and began to suck him. She gave him an extra lick to tell him all was well. "God, B-buffy. So, good."

She took him deep and felt his tip hit the back of her throat. He gasped. She reached one hand up to his right hand and they entwined fingers. She used her other hand for leverage at the bottom of his stem, as she began to pump him faster, tightening her lips for added pressure and occasionally running her tongue along his length. His breaths were short now and he was cursing and moaning and growing less and less coherent. He grabbed recklessly at her hand as if seeking a safety line. "Please, oh God yes. Close, so close." She continued to work him, and with her last stroke he came in her mouth. He cried out "Oh Jesusssssss," as he came, and she felt a warm liquid shoot into her mouth. She just let it keep coming and sucked him clean. God, it turned her on. It never had before. She never swallowed before that's for sure, but all she could think of now was getting as much of Giles inside her as possible. He came down after a few residual waves, and breathed in distress. "Oh my god buffy. I I...."

She smiled and came up to him, licking her lips, "You taste wonderful."

His eyes widened with a "holy shit man, I'm gonna die" look. She smiled, satisfied with her work, and then rested her head on his shoulder. While he got control of himself, she ran her fingers lightly through his chest hair. He shivered at the sensation, still fairly sensitive. He let his arm fall around her and they lay there, taking in the full release.

"I love you Giles," she whispered into his chest.

"How did I ever get to be so lucky?" he asked.

"By being yourself," she said.

"C'mere," he whispered as he pulled her face up to his and kissed her tenderly. She slid her body on top of his and felt him growing hard against her stomach.

"Mmm, someone's not done yet, hm?" she said with a devilish grin. He smiled and reached a hand down to her bottom. He slipped a finger across her wet lips from behind and she gasped in shock and bucked into him.

"Looks like I'm not the only one," he said inserting a finger in her teasingly.

"Oh god, Giles. Please. I want you inside of me. All of you." She grabbed at his shoulders and kissed him desperately. He flipped her over so quickly she cried out in surprise and giggled, "Still got the moves."

"I don't know, you tell me," he said with a leer. And with that he slid his tip up her lips. She inhaled deeply.

"Oh god Giles, now," she moaned. As he rubbed he tip back down her, she laid her head back and closed her eyes.

"No," he said. "Open your eyes. I want to watch you."

She opened her eyes and held his gaze as he slowly entered her. Her eyes went wide in shock. While he entered her in stages to give her time to adapt to his size, she couldn't seem to fathom how good he felt, how much he completed her. With a final push he was fully inside of her. "Oh God, Giles," she moaned and grabbed him tightly to her. "Please. Stay there for just a moment. I want to memorize this feeling. I feel so ...God. That ache of emptiness just isn't there anymore."

He smiled and kissed her neck, whispering, "I know what you mean. It feels so right. Like I've just returned after a long trip."

She pulled his head up and held his face to hers with her hands, "Make love to me."

"My pleasure," he whispered back and leaned in to kiss her. He began to slowly withdraw and felt her hands fall to his back to hold on to him as tight as possible. His kisses started off as slow as his rhythm. Then he began to vary the pace as his kisses trailed to her neck where he began to nip and suck. She groaned as he entered her and inhaled sharply as he withdrew. Giles began to lose himself to his rhythm and the desire that was quickly re-building. Buffy kneaded and raked her nails across his back, which helped to bring him even faster to that edge. He desperately wanted this to last, but she seemed so close already. "Please," she begged and the sound of earnest in her voice drove him crazy. Suddenly, she was pulling and tugging at him, her knees grasping at his sides, driving him in at a different angle which offered him even greater and deeper access. "Ahh," she cried softly, "Yes, please...please, ---," her pleas trailed off, replaces by short cries as he began to drive into her more forcefully.

"What?" he asked sensing her urgency. If she said it, he knew he'd lose it right now, but he asked her just the same. Part of him needed to hear it. To be convinced she truly desired him as much as he desired her. "Say it," he whispered.

"Please--," she hesitated. But then, as he withdrew she begged him and told him what he wanted to hear. "Fuck me Giles. Please, f-fuck me," she hissed. Her hips were soon bucking wildly into him, backing up her plea with action. With that, he lost all control and began to ram into her harshly. She was so wet, it didn't hurt either of them, instead it created an amazing, heated friction. Soon she was screaming in pleasure and encouragement. "Yes ...Harder...Please Giles."

He was savagely thrusting into her now and each time her head tossed from one side to another, he heard her moan. He was responding in kind with feral grunts, and he felt himself quickly nearing the edge. She wrenched her hands in the bedspreads and he held himself up on his hands to gain leverage. He yanked one of her thighs up to his side, holding it up as he rammed into her. She gasped in shock and began crying out shamelessly now. "Oh. God. Giles. Yes. Yes. Gonna come. Gonna come," she cried out and that did it for both of them. He held out just long enough to hear her scream loudly and uncontrollably a final "Yessss" as she came. He followed soon after with a harsh, tortured low cry, as he poured out into her. He began held himself against her as he came, and then began to slowly thrust in and out of her a few more times to empty himself into her. He felt her residual spasms as she finished her climax, and his hips finally slowed to a stop as their breathing became soft, full sighs of relief mixed with disbelief.

Giles was going to slide his body to her side, to save her from his weight, but she tugged him back onto her. "No," she whined. "I want to feel your weight on me. I need to know you're real." He looked at her and saw her glazed over eyes. He blinked his eyes slowly, as if to tell her silently "your wish is my command." He had already fallen out of her, and so he lowered himself enough so that he could lay atop her, while resting his head on her chest. She sighed and brought her arms around him, holding him to her. His cheek was over her heart and the beat was heavenly. "You're real," she whispered.

He smiled into her chest. "I can pinch you if you want," he whispered, tracing circles on her other breast.

"That's ok," she sighed with a smile, then he felt her shiver at his touch.

"Cold?" he asked.

"No, just. Residuals, I think."

He smiled. "I know what you mean."

"God, can we just lay here forever?" she asked.

"You'll get no arguments from me," he said.

"I love holding you, Giles," she said, playing in his hair with her fingers.

"Mmm, I have to say, it's pretty nice from where I'm lying too." He heard her chuckle. He smiled and reached around to cling to her. He buried his face in her chest and inhaled her deeply. As he exhaled slowly, he felt her embrace him tighter.

"What is it, Giles?" she asked, a bit concerned.

He relaxed his hold on her, but still embraced her. "Just thinking how heavenly this is," he said. And he smiled, because he had never felt so at peace before in his life, and realized it was because for once, he truly felt like he had come home.

END