Title: B & B Weekend 9-10
Author: Gileswench
Contact: gileswench@yahoo.com
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.



"Mmmmmmm, this feels good." Buffy leaned back against Giles in the bathtub.

"It certainly does" he agreed, nuzzling her neck and running his hands over her well-soaped breasts.

"You better take your time, there's no telling where I've got strawberry on me."

"I shall be very thorough with you, then"

One hand descended to her nether regions and began to explore purposefully. Buffy groaned as her body responded to Giles' ministrations. Soon her juices were flowing so that her lover could feel them despite the water in the tub. Taking that as his cue, he dipped first one, then a second finger into her slick channel, pumping slowly and occasionally flicking his thumb across her swollen clit.

Buffy rode his fingers, biting her lip to keep from getting too loud. Giles moved her so that he could reach her mouth more easily, then kissed her deeply. Their tongues danced across one another as they softly moaned their pleasure.

Giles began to rub Buffy's clit more regularly until he was stroking it with every thrust of his fingers. He was soon rewarded with her cry of release, and the pulsing of her warm tunnel around his digits. He petted and kissed her soothingly until her breathing returned to normal.

"Feeling cleaner, luv?"

"Nope. But feeling dirty in a good way."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"I never knew how much fun a bubble bath could be. But we'd probably better get out of the tub before we turn into great, big prunes."

"What say you we adjourn to the bedroom, then?"

"I like the sound of that. I want to take a nap."

"Sleepy?"

"No. I just want to take a nap."

*****

"Feeling any better yet?" Wesley continued to stroke Cordelia's hair as she pulled herself together.

"I can't believe I went so Queen For A Day. God, pathetic much?"

"Well, the reaction did seem a touch strong for the provocation. I know Buffy can be difficult, and I know you have never been particularly close to her, but I never knew you felt so strongly on the subject."

"Look, until the day she came to Sunnydale, my life was perfect. I had everything a girl could want: money, a big house, a convertible, designer clothes, and the awe and respect of what were laughingly called my peers. Pre-Buffy, I had people lining up to be seen with me. Post-Buffy, I'm struggling along on my own in a strange city with two friends and a pet ghost. And look at you and Angel. You used to be a Watcher, now a vampire gives you work because you're down and out. He lost his soul over her, and when he got it back, she sent him to Hell. When he got back from there, she put him through another kind of hell completely, and then she comes to LA and makes him miserable some more. She's destructo girl. She leaves this huge swath of pain and despair in her path, so no, I'm not a big Buffy fan."

"And I can see your point to a certain extent. Buffy acts impulsively and it does occasionally lead to disaster. but she has also saved the world more times than I, for one, can count. She's hurt Angel, but she's also saved him many times. She's saved you more than once, too. And be fair; your parents refusing to pay their taxes is hardly Buffy's fault."

"Yeah, well, if you're going to bring logic into it then I lose. See? I can't even catch a break just talking about her!"

"I think it's time we did something about this unhealthy obsession you have with Buffy."

"What?"

"You're blaming her for things which lie far outside her sphere of influence. I think that may be part of the reason why you're so reluctant to do anything to help her and Mr. Giles This ends now, Cordelia."

"Again, I say what?"

"No, how. We are going to ask Buffy and Mr. Giles to join us for dinner this evening. If they require persuasion, we'll tell them about your vision. We can discuss the vision in detail, and get to know one another better."

"I know Buffy better than I want to."

"Too bad. Cordelia, please do this. For me if not for yourself."

"But - "

"After all, if nothing else, it will give us a reason to go into town and get some more condoms."

Cordelia smiled. "All right. Besides, I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm starved."

*****

Buffy lay back on the bed as Giles draped himself over her possessively, devouring her with his open kisses. The girl reveled in the feeling of her lovers' body on her own. The crisp chest hairs teasing her nipples, the strong hands coaxing erotic responses from the most unlikely parts of her anatomy, the muscular thigh that parted her legs and ground itself against her molten core, the tongue that parried and thrust against hers. Everything about Giles excited her.

As his kisses traveled south toward the pebbled peaks of Buffy's breasts, there came a knock on the door. The two shared a panicked look before Buffy dove beneath the covers and Giles rolled off her to retrieve his robe.

"Blast! Could the timing have been any worse?"

"Whoever it is, tell them to go away."

Giles poked his head out the door to find Wesley standing there.

"Ah, Mr. Giles, might I have a word?"

"Um, I'm afraid you've come at a bad moment, Wesley. Perhaps a bit later?"

"Oh dear. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...I'll just go now. But before I do, Cordelia and I were wondering if, perhaps, you and Buffy would care to join us for dinner. Say, an hour?"

"Yes. Alright. We'll meet in the carpark, shall we?"

"Right. Well, I'll leave you to it, as it were."

Giles closed the door and leaned his forehead against it.

"Okay, Rupert. What have you gotten us into?"

"I'm sorry, luv, but I've agreed that we'll go to dinner with Wesley and Cordelia in an hour."

"Did my father knock you out? Has Ethan put a spell on you? Have you gone totally out of your mind with no help at all? Why would we want to go to dinner with those two?"

"If you'll cast your mind back to breakfast, you may recall that Cordelia mentioned something about our being in danger and a purple demon. Perhaps if we have some time alone with them, we can discover what sort of danger we're in. Angel wouldn't have sent them if it wasn't a serious threat to you."

"Okay, we'll go. But those two owe me big time."

Buffy got out of bed and headed for her clothes.

"Why don't you come back to bed, luv? We've plenty of time."

"What are you, nuts? This is Cordelia. It'll take me the full hour to get ready, trust me."

Giles flopped back on the bed, muttering as Buffy headed for the bathroom in a similar frame of mind.

The Englishman peered at his erection, which gazed back sullenly. "It's no good looking at me like that, old boy. There's not a damn thing I can do."

*****

One and a half hours later, the four were seated in a small, uninspired coffee shop.

"Angel is covering expenses, right Wesley?"

"Yes, that's right." he told his lady.

"Then why are we eating in this dump? Aren't there any four-star places in this town?"

"Does it really matter where we eat? I thought we were going to discuss this vision of yours." Giles was feeling less than patient with the proceedings. He wanted to get Buffy back to bed.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the table as they studied their menus. Cordelia occasionally shot a look of ill-concealed dislike at Buffy who maintained a stubborn expression of unconcern. The two former Watchers glanced surreptitiously at the girls, unsure how to defuse the situation.

Despite the many differences between Giles and Wesley, they shared the same thought as they contemplated the uneasy détente between their lovers: sex was becoming less and less of a likelihood for them the longer they let this go on.

"You say the demon in your vision was purple, Cordelia?" Giles, being the more reckless of the two men, entered the lions' den first.

"Yeah. Big and purply. Definitely of the yuck."

"I see. How big did you say?"

"I didn't. But it was big."

"Then perhaps you could say." The older man's patience was running out. Cordelia could hear it in his voice.

"I'm going to the ladies' room." Cordelia stood before anyone could comment or protest.

Buffy glared at Wesley. "What is her saga?"

"I'm afraid I haven't the faintest idea. She's been no more cooperative with me."

"Then what were the condoms for, Wes? She cooperated with you on something."

"Wesley? Condoms? Did you and Cordelia...?"

"Oops. Sorry, Rupert. I sorta gave them a couple of ours."

"That's beside the point. Cordelia is a grown woman and perfectly capable of making up her own mind in such matters." Wesley was determined to return to at least the vicinity of the matter at hand.

"Yes, you're right. I suppose it rather caught me by surprise. It really isn't any of my business."

"But this demon is our business. Why do you think Cordy won't spill?"

"I'm afraid it seems to be involved with her feelings concerning you, Buffy."

"So we've never been best buddies. So what?"

"It seems that she feels you are to blame for most of what has gone wrong in her life since you arrived in Sunnydale. I tried to tell her it was irrational, but she won't listen to me."

"That's it. I've had it. I don't care what she thinks of me. I've saved her sorry butt a dozen times when I couldn't stand her, but she won't return the favor because she feels sorry for herself? God, Wes, what do you see in her?"

Buffy threw down the gauntlet - or to be more precise, her paper napkin, and strode to the ladies' room, leaving the two men behind to shudder at the thought of the coming conflict.

*****

Buffy found Cordelia standing by the row of sinks, gripping one tightly as she tried to calm herself.

"What is your deal, Cordelia? Do you want Giles and me to die? Will that make you happy? Whatever you think I've done to you, I didn't. And even if I did, what about Rupert? Are you gonna punish him because you think, what?, that I'm a big meanie?"

"No."

Even Buffy could see by this point that something was seriously wrong. Queen C was nowhere in the room, having been replaced by a frightened girl.

"Cordy? Are you okay?"

"Please just go away, Buffy. I can't deal with you right now."

"Tell me what's going on. Is it something about the demon? We really need to know."

"I can't tell you. I can't." Tears began to leak from Cordelia's eyes.

"Sure you can. You can tell me and then we'll figure out how to deal with it. That's what we do. Well, in a crisis, anyway. We've done it before. Remember Slayerfest '98? We kicked some demon butt together that night. We can do it again. Just tell me what you saw."

"It - it's too awful! I can't!"

"Yes you can. Take a deep breath and just say it."

"I think I'm losing my mind."

"Okay. Not what I was expecting. Why do you think that?"

"Because of what I saw."

"Which was...?"

"You and...and Giles. In bed. Having sex."

"Well, that already happened. And it's gonna happen again, so that doesn't make me think you're crazy. Maybe that you get some embarrassing visions, but not of the crazy. What else did you see?"

"That's just it. The other thing I saw. It...I don't think it was a demon at all."

"Then what the hell was it?"

"Don't make me say it!"

"Come on, Cordelia! You have to! Was it something about me? About Rupert?"

"Who is this Rupert guy? I thought you were with Giles."

"Rupert is Giles' first name. And don't change the subject."

"What did his parents have against him?"

"Cordelia" Buffy warned.

"I mean, Rupert? What a yucksome name. Boy, you must really be in love to call him that."

"Cordelia, if you don't tell me what you saw right now, I'm going to hurt you. I can do this."

"Okay, okay! It was...it was a Teletubby!"

"Huh?"

"That gay one, Tinky-Wink? The one with the awful color sense. I mean, red purse with a purple ensemble? What was he thinking?"

"A Teletubby? Why would you see a Teletubby?"

"Don't you get it, Buffy? Little tiny kids watch that show."

"And the connection to me would be...?"

"Buffy, I think you're pregnant."

PART 10

Buffy stared at Cordelia.

"You think I'm what???!!"

"Pregnant. You know: expecting, on the nest, in the family way, knocked up..."

"Okay, okay, I get the idea. And you couldn't have said something before because...?"

"Like what? 'Hi Buffy, long time no see. By the way, how's the morning sickness?' Anyway, I really wasn't sure what it was I saw other than Tinky-Wink and his icky red purse. I mean, it wasn't clear what you and Giles were doing. The PTB keep these things sorta PG-13. If it was R, I could have seen something below the shoulders and I'd have figured it out a lot quicker."

"But you saw Tinky-Wink! That wasn't a clue?"

"In retrospect I'd have to say yes. But hey, I didn't know you two were an item. As far as I knew, you were still with GI Joe. And what's with not telling Angel these things?"

"I don't owe Angel a blow-by-blow of my life anymore. We're so over even Rupert doesn't get threatened by it. I'll always care how he's doing, but that part of my life is way behind me. It's not my fault he can't move on."

"God, Buffy! Selfish much? Angel still loves you."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but that's not my problem. I'm with Rupert and I'm happy. Look, I want Angel to be happy, well, as happy as he can be without, y'know, all the death and mayhem and stuff, but I can't give him that, and he can't give me what I need. Rupert can."

"Including a baby."

Buffy frowned in thought.

"Uh, Earth to Buffy? You okay in there? I mean, you want a baby, right?"

"I never really thought about it. And it's not like you're sure, is it? You didn't know what Rupert and I were doing in the vision. A-and a Teletubby could mean almost anything."

"Wow! That was some fast trip to the land of Denial."

*****

"What on earth do you think they're up to in there all this time?"

"In my experience, Wesley, it's best not to try to find out until they're ready to let us know."

"But Buffy's a Slayer. She was angry. She might do something to Cordelia."

"If she does, it will do no good for us to get hurt too. Besides, Buffy is hardly like Faith. She won't do permanent damage, no matter how she may long to."

"How can you be so calm?"

"What would you have me do? Rush into the Ladies' and get myself knocked on the head? Of course, you're perfectly free to try it if you've a mind. I value my well-being."

*****

Buffy paced nervously in the confined space.

"Okay. Okay. I can handle this. Everything is just fine."

"Yeah, at that rate, you'll have me convinced in no time. Look, Buffy, this isn't a bad. I mean, you love Giles, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"And he loves you, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then what's the prob? You just go out there and tell him that ready or not, it's baby time. It's Giles. He'll deal."

"And what if it isn't? Baby time, I mean?"

"Then you're ready for when it is."

"Cordy, when did you have this vision?"

"Four days ago. I was in the office, and it took some fancy verbal footwork to get Angel to let me come up here, let me tell you."

"Four days. You saw this four days ago and nobody called me? Nobody sent Willow an email? Sent a smoke signal to Giles? We get no warning at all?"

Cordelia shrugged. "It seemed better this way."

"What am I gonna say to Rupert?"

"Has he been careful with the, y'know, condoms?"

"You actually have to ask that? This is Giles we're talking about. Mr. Caution."

"So you can't pin it on him."

"There wasn't even him until last night. Riley and I split up in July. It is now October. If he'd gotten me pregnant, we would have known about it by now."

"I'm just asking. Don't bite my head off. So last night, huh? I guess that's too soon for mood swings."

*****

"I really feel I ought to go see if everything's all right."

"For God's sake, Wesley, sit down and be patient. I'm beginning to think I overestimated your maturity."

"But Cordelia..."

"Is perfectly capable of defending herself should the need arise. Now stop panicking and eat your dinner."

"Ah! Buffy and Cordelia don't know the food has arrived. I could go and tell them." He began to rise.

"Sit down, you twit! You don't want to get in the middle of whatever's going on in there. I don't know what it is, but it won't be pretty. By this time they could be comparing notes as to our prowess in the bedroom, and you certainly wouldn't want to be there for that one."

"And you would, I suppose?"

"Not that I would wish to brag, but I doubt I would need to worry."

"Nor would I, judging by the events of this afternoon."

"Really?"

"So you can take your superior attitude and, and...do something a gentleman would never mention with it!"

"At least I distracted you for a moment."

"You...you did that just to stop me going after them?"

"It certainly wasn't for the fun of discussing my sex life with you."

"I shall go after them now."

"There's no longer any need." Giles nodded in the direction of the two girls emerging from the bathroom. He rose from his seat at Buffy's approach.

"Is everything all right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Everything's peachy here. What could be wrong?"

"Buffy?" Giles raised an eyebrow to show he was serious.

"Look, it's fine. I don't want to talk about it here, okay. Can we just go back?"

"But you haven't eaten yet. And despite all the time you gave us, Wesley and I haven't finished either. Come, now, have some food. You'll feel better."

"God, Rupert! I'm not a kid! Quit doing that!"

"Doing what? I don't understand."

"Acting like you're my father! You're not!"

"Of course I'm not! Why would I want to be?"

"Just - I'm going back."

Giles grabbed her arm.

"Buffy, please, will you tell me what's going on?"

"Let me go!"

"Not until you tell me what has gotten into you. What did Cordelia say to you?"

"Nothing. I just want to go back to our room."

"Well you can't go on your own. You haven't any stakes with you. And the rest of us are still eating dinner, so you might as well join us. If you won't talk to me here, you'll do it when we get back. I won't let you run away this time."

Buffy glared daggers at Giles.

"How dare you?! How dare you say that?!"

"Buffy, you're making a scene."

"Damn right I am! Let go of me!"

Giles took one look at her expression and let go.

"Would you please tell me what has happened? I'm not trying to treat you like a child. I simply want to know what's upset you so." His tone was soothing, and Buffy wanted to give in to it.

"Look, I'll tell you later. I can't right now. Not here."

"That's all right, luv. Whenever you're ready.

Wesley was having similar success with Cordelia, who seemed determined to carry on the most pointless, vapid conversation in the history of mankind.

"So, what do you think of the weather we're having?"

Wesley stared at her.

"The weather?"

"Or would you prefer to talk about The Olympics? Isn't it great that we did so well in Beach Volleyball?"

"Beach Volleyball? We? Did I compete in the Olympics without knowing it?"

"No, silly! The US teams did really well in it."

"Cordelia, what did you say to Buffy? Was it something about your vision?"

"Chill, Wes."

"Buffy is acting very oddly, and so are you. What was said in there? You weren't...comparing me and Mr. Giles?"

"In what? Being stuffy? We hardly mentioned you anyway."

Buffy finally allowed herself to be guided back to the table, but merely picked at her food. Giles gave her worried sidelong glances as she pushed the meal around without eating it.

"Come on, Buffy, eat. You need to keep up your strength."

"Don't push me, Cordelia." Buffy's eyes narrowed in warning.

The rest of the meal passed in uncomfortable silence. The girls were jumpy and evasive, while the men were confused and frustrated. Nobody had anything remotely like a good time. All were relieved when the ordeal was at an end.

*****

Giles led Buffy into their room and shut the door by leaning back against it, his arms folded across his chest.

"Are you ready to tell me what's happened?"

"No." Buffy sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the ground.

"Is it something I've done? Something I've said?"

"You didn't say anything wrong."

"Then I did something?"

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know yet. Maybe. Or maybe we have."

Giles crossed the room and sat next to Buffy, but she scooted further down the bed to avoid him. The Englishman tugged off his glasses and ran a frustrated hand back through his hair.

"I don't understand. What might we have done? You're talking in riddles, Buffy."

"Are visions from the PTB always right?"

"So it has to do with Cordelia's vision. What did she see?"

"Just answer the question."

Giles sighed and put his glasses back on.

"So far as I know, these visions are always accurate. But Buffy, so are the prophecies and you've always come through perfectly well. You've faced countless situations in which you were supposed to be powerless to stop something happening and you always have. I don't know what Cordelia saw, but I'm certain we can beat it together."

"I don't know if I'm ready for this."

"Ready for what?"

"Rupert, has any Slayer ever had a baby?"

"A baby? What do you mean?"

"I mean, has any Slayer ever gotten pregnant and had a baby?"

"You...you're not...Buffy?"

"Cordelia saw us in bed, and then she saw a Teletubby."

"A Teletubby?"

"Yeah, those icky little..."

"Yes, yes I know what they are." Buffy looked at him suspiciously. "I don't live under a rock you know. And I do watch Public Television. Not that of course, but there has been a good deal of debate about them. All right, I watched it once. But I was babysitting a neighbors' child at the time."

"So anyway, that's what Cordy saw. The handwriting's on the wall. Ready or not, the damage is done."

"Damage? Is that how you would feel?"

"I don't know how I feel! I was never supposed to have to deal with this! I was supposed to be dead by now, and I don't know what to do with this! I never had to think about it before."

"Shh, darling, it's all right. I'm here for you." Giles held her close as she wept with fear and frustration. "Don't upset yourself, luv."

"But I don't know what to do."

"Just calm yourself, Buffy." He took her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "It's highly unlikely that you're pregnant. After all, we've been careful the entire time we've been making love - all twenty-two hours of it. And if you are, well, we'll deal with that in whatever way you think best. It would be entirely your decision, Buffy."

The girl blinked in surprise, then raised hurt eyes to her lover.

"You mean you wouldn't want it? You wouldn't want a baby with me? Is that what you're saying?"

"Not at all! But it isn't that simple..."

"No. No, this is simple. Either you want a baby or you don't."

"But you've just said you don't know..."

"But you should have thought about this! You're a lot older than me, and you get to have a real future like everybody else. You're supposed to know this stuff. God! This isn't some ancient language that nobody uses anymore; this is reproduction! Are you telling me you never thought about this at all?"

"I-I-I haven't really, no. Not in a very long time."

"Well think about it now, buddy, 'cause the PTB have spoken. And I will not have this baby if it's own father doesn't want it. I couldn't do that to the kid. Lord knows I won't be around to see him graduate high school, or even kindergarten, most likely. I will not leave my child alone in the world."

She headed for the door.

"Buffy, where are you going?"

"I'm staying with Cordelia tonight. You can let me know what you plan to do about our baby in the morning, Mr. I-Have-To-Think-It-Over!"

She slammed the door after her.

*****

"Do you ever plan to tell me the truth, Cordelia?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"What was in that vision? Why were you and Buffy both acting so strangely when you returned to the table? There is no demon, is there?"

"Sure there is. Purple and everything. I swear to you, Wesley, there was something really scary and purple in my vision."

"Then why won't you tell me what it looks like? Why were you and Buffy both so evasive? What did you tell her?"

"I can't tell you, okay. And Buffy has to decide whether to tell Giles or not. This one is now officially out of my hands. Look, I'm tired. I'm just gonna go to bed now."

"Cordelia? This afternoon? It...it wasn't just...I need to know it meant something."

"How can you even ask that?"

"Every time I wanted to talk about your vision in any depth, you began making love to me. Please tell me it wasn't a diversion."

"You really think I could do that?" Cordelia's chin began to tremble. "Well, if that's what you think of me, you can just go sleep somewhere else tonight."

Just then there was a tentative rap at the door. Wesley answered it.

"Buffy, what on Earth are you doing here?"

The Slayer stood wiping tears off her cheeks. "Can I stay here with you guys tonight? I can't stay with Giles."

"I think you know where you're sleeping tonight, Wesley." Cordelia lifted her eyebrow at him.

"Yes. Yes, of course. I'll, um, I'll see you both in the morning. Goodnight."

He walked out of the room with one last miserable glance at Cordelia. After he turned to go, she looked longingly after his retreating form.


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