Title: Love, Hellmouth Style 3-4
Author: Gileswench
Contact: gileswench@yahoo.com
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.



The next morning, Giles finally looked at his mail from the previous weekend. It was unlike him to leave it unattended for so long, but he'd been somewhat distracted the first day back by his lovely new wife and her astonishing sex drive.

There were several bills to be paid, a note from a friend in England full of welcome gossip about the Homeland, a couple advertisements and offers for credit cards, and an official-looking envelope from the INS.

He opened it with some trepidation. After all, the government was only likely to contact him if there was a problem. And problems with the United States government were to be avoided, if at all possible.

"I don't bloody believe it!"

"What is it?" Buffy looked up from her breakfast, all concern.

"Your government wants to take away my greencard."

"Huh? Can they do that?"

"They're the government, Buffy. They can do more or less what they like."

"So, if they take it away, what happens?" Buffy's stomach sank like a stone.

"I get sent back to England. But that won't happen, luv. After all, I'm married to a US citizen. That automatically grants me the right to be here. Unfortunately, we may have some annoyances ahead of us with the INS."

"But all you have to do is tell them you married me, right?"

"It won't be that simple, I'm afraid. The timing will seem suspicious to them, and they'll think we only did it for the sake of my immigration status. I'm so sorry, Buffy. This is likely to be a mess for some time."

"And this would differ from the status quo of our lives in what way?"

"None that I can see."

*****

Later that day, Buffy went to visit her mother and pick up a few things from home to take, well, home.

"Hi, Mom!" she called loudly as she walked in the door.

"Oh, hi, Honey. I didn't expect to see you so soon." Joyce enveloped her only child in a big hug.

"I don't have anymore classes today, and I don't think I should distract Rupert at work right now, so I thought I'd come see you."

"What were Willow and Xander doing?"

"Class and new job, respectively. But I really wanted to see you, anyway."

"That's good to know. I was worried I'd see you even less than before."

"Mom! Give me five minutes before the guilt-fest begins, will you."

"Okay, I just know from experience that I have to get my digs in before you're off to face evil again."

The two women smiled at one another.

"So how are you liking married life?"

"So far, it's pretty great. We've only had one fight up to now."

"You've only been married one day."

"A day and a half."

"Of course, that makes all the difference, doesn't it? Did you win?"

"It was a win-win situation, but I won the most." Buffy's grin was equal parts amusement and triumph.

"That's my girl."

*****

When Buffy returned home that evening, Giles was already there. One look told her he'd had a frustrating day. His hair was rumpled from the innumerable times he'd run his hand through it, and his glasses had been tossed carelessly on the coffee table while he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Hi Honey, I'm home. You okay?"

The girl approached him from behind, draping her arms around his shoulders over the sofa and kissing the top of his head. Giles reached up with a tired smile and tugged her hand until she came around the sofa and sat on his lap.

"Worlds better now you're here." He kissed her soundly.

"That sounds like a story waiting to be told. What happened?"

"Round one with your government. I've been warned that it is a serious offense to lie to Immigration, and that our marriage will be under the utmost scrutiny. I have also been informed that our caseworker will be round to see us at some unspecified time in the next few days."

"If we don't know when he's coming, how can we be ready for him?"

"I think that's rather the point. They want to try to catch us in a lie."

"But we won't know when to be here or anything. And just how are we supposed to prove that we're really married?"

"They'll snoop in corners, ask us embarrassing questions, appear without warning day and night, interview our friends and families, and generally make utter nuisances of themselves until they are satisfied one way or the other."

"That could get tough with the slayage. How do we explain coming home at midnight covered in green goo and vampire dust?"

"I've no idea, luv. And I really don't want to think about that, now you're here. How was your day?"

"Class, lunch with Will, another class, visit to Mom. Then I came home to my handsome and sexy guy who told me all about his feud with Uncle Sam. It was pretty okay except for the feud part."

"Tell me more about this sexy fellow of yours. Should I be jealous?"

"Oh please, could you go fishing any more obviously than that?" She playfully swatted his nose.

"Probably not." He grinned unrepentantly at her, pulling her down for a long kiss. When he drew back, Giles' face was serious. "You know that I love you, don't you?"

Buffy caressed his cheek as she answered. "Of course I know that. And I love you, too. What's up with the worry? Did something happen?"

"I suppose it's just the timing of this greencard mess concerns me. Why now? I was unemployed for a year and nothing was ever said about my leaving."

"You think the Watchers Council is behind this, don't you." It wasn't a question.

"I honestly don't know what to think. Perhaps I'm being paranoid, but they did say I would be dealt with if I didn't stay out of your life. And you saw what they were willing to do to Faith. Frankly I expected them to move against me long before this."

There was nothing Buffy could say to that, so she held Giles close.

*****

Over the next couple days, most of Buffy's belongings were moved into the apartment, and the pair settled into a routine. Buffy even started allowing Giles to take his morning run about every other day.

They organized, they cooked, they cleaned, they made love, and generally inhabited their own private world. Finally, one evening, Giles looked at Buffy and said:

"What are you doing sitting about tonight? It's Friday. Don't you usually want to go to The Bronze, or a party or some such?"

"And what will you do while I'm out partying?"

"You never worried about that before."

"I was never your wife before. Couples do stuff like that together or they don't do it at all. Don't even try to tell me you want to go Bronzing."

"No, not especially, but you've hardly seen Willow and Xander since we got back. You need to spend time with your friends, luv."

"Our friends, Rupert. They're our friends. Yours and mine."

"Yes, they are, but I've a great deal of paperwork to do tonight. Orders and payroll and so on. It's frightfully dull, but it has to be done, and I know I won't if you're here distracting me."

"Did I hear a compliment buried in all that?"

"Yes, you did. If you're here, I'll simply want to take you to bed and I'll never get my work done. So go on, call Willow and go out somewhere."

"You're really sure about this?"

"Positive. Now go on."

And so it was that Buffy walked out the door half an hour later. And so it was that Giles had to face the first visit from Immigration by himself.

Ms. Lois Pennington was a tough, no nonsense caseworker, and the scourge of many a couple who had married in name only so as to keep one party or the other in the country. She had a reputation for spotting the flaw in any cover story. At the office, she was known as "The Bulldog" because once she caught you out in a lie, she never let go. She reminded Giles unpleasantly of Maggie Walsh.

"I understand that you were married less than a week ago, Mr. Giles."

"Yes, that's right." He flashed his most ingratiating smile at the harridan.

"And yet, here you are, all alone on a Friday night. Why is that, Mr. Giles?"

"My wife is visiting with some friends of ours. I had a great deal of paperwork to do this evening, so I told her to go out and have a good time without me."

"Where did she go? And with whom?"

"The Bronze, I should imagine. It's one of her favorite places to go of a Friday night. And she should be with Willow Rosenberg and possibly Xander Harris. They're our closest friends."

Ms. Pennington made some notes in her file with the air of Madame Dufarge knitting shrouds at the foot of the guillotine.

"Is your wife in the habit of going clubbing without you?"

"I practically had to push her out the door. I needed some quiet time to work, as I said. And she'd hardly seen her friends since our marriage."

As they spoke, Ms. Pennington roamed the apartment snooping for signs that a woman lived there.

"How old is your wife, Mr. Giles?"

"Nineteen." Ms. Pennington shot him a dirty look. "But she's really very mature for her age."

"And how old are you, Mr. Giles?"

"Forty six."

"How much did you pay her?'

"Now see here, just a moment! This is my wife you're speaking of. What are you suggesting?"

"I'm suggesting that a nineteen year old girl doesn't marry a forty six year old man unless she has something to gain from it. So, either you paid her or she's pregnant and the boy ditched her. Which is it?"

"Neither. We were married because we are in love with one another."

"How long have you known your wife?"

"Almost four years now. I was the librarian at her high school."

"When did you become lovers?"

"Just a few weeks ago, actually."

The look on Ms. Pennington's face made it clear that she didn't believe a word Giles had said. She continued to grill him for several more minutes before concluding for the time being.

"I warn you, Mr. Giles, I'd better see proof of everything you've told me tonight. And perhaps next time, you'll have a woman here for me to interview? It would look better if I do meet her sometime."

The unpleasant woman swept out majestically. Giles poured himself a stiff drink, and waited for Buffy.

PART 4

Buffy sat on a sofa at the back of The Bronze talking with her friends. Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya had all shown up, and she felt a bit strange being alone in the midst of all the coupledom. Still, it was nice to go Bronzing with her friends. And Giles would have hated the band, she felt sure.

"So, Buff, how do you like married life?" Xander waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"God, I've been asked that question so many times this week! Does anyone know another? And I'm loving it, Xand. Married life is seriously perk-filled."

"It's not that we lack imagination, Buffy" Willow assured her. "It's just you're the first one of us to do this, so we all want to know what it's like. Besides, we've hardly seen you for days, so we figure you must have some good stuff to tell us."

"Yes. Tell us about sex with Giles."

The rest stared at Anya.

"What? You do have sex, don't you? Does he give you lots of orgasms?"

"How are your classes going this semester, Buffy?"

The Slayer breathed a silent prayer of thanks for Tara's change of subject.

"They're great. Of course it turns out Professor Baird is a good friend of Ruperts', so my secret is out. I don't dare turn in a half-ass term paper to him."

The friends continued to chat and laugh for a while. Xander got up to get drinks for them all.

"So, Buffy, what'll it be?"

"Decaf latte, please." The conversation stopped short as the others looked at her in surprise. "What?"

"Decaf? And not a mocha? Who are you and what have you done with Buffy?"

"It's me, Xand. I just thought I don't really need that much caffeine. And milk does a body good, so I hear.

"I think there's more to it than that. 'Fess up, Buff." Willow wore her famous "resolve face".

"There's nothing to 'fess, Will. Really."

"Then what's with the sudden health food kick?" Xander was not letting go any more than the witch.

"Okay, there's a little snag. Rupert got a letter from Immigration. They want to take his greencard away and ship him back to Merrie Olde Englande. Now they think we got married just to keep him here and we have to go through a lot of hassle with the government. I didn't want to say anything because I wanted to forget about it. Trust me, caffeine is the last thing I need tonight." It was half of the truth. Buffy didn't want bring up the possibility that she might be pregnant. Not until she at least started showing some sign of it.

"Wow. Heavy. So how's Giles dealing?" Xander was the picture of concern.

"Not too bad. He's sorta annoyed by it more than anything. And it's kinda frustrating waiting for the caseworker to show up. We haven't seen him yet. And the whole thing is really, really making me not happy. Could we please change the subject, guys?"

They turned to more general topics, and Xander went for the coffee. When he returned and placed the steaming cup in front of Buffy, she felt a slight twinge of nausea at the fragrance. Swallowing it down, she left the cup untouched for several minutes. The last thing she needed now was to get sick.

*****

When Buffy got home, she found Giles well into his third scotch. She sniffed the air, wrinkling her nose at the smell of alcohol.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you drinking alone's a bad sign? What happened?"

"I needed this. You'll probably need a few when you meet her."

"Who's 'her'?"

"Mzzz. Peninngton. Our inestimable caseworker. Dreadful woman. I dislike her intensely."

"Hence the drinking and the sarcasm. What did she do?"

Giles put down his drink and rubbed his neck in a frustrated manner.

"Her job, I suppose. She was rude, presumptuous, insinuating, and frightfully crude. I'd like nothing better than to lock her in a room with Spike for a few weeks. They're perfectly matched."

"Wow. She must've said something really bad. I don't think I even want to know what it is."

"You don't."

"Okay. I won't ask. Why don't you go take a shower, and we can go to bed and forget about nasty caseworkers for tonight."

"Am I that bad?"

"Nah, aside from really smelling crappy from the booze. How many?"

Giles shrugged. "A couple."

"That's not good, y'know."

"Doesn't happen very often. And I don't in the least feel like discussing my drinking habits with you tonight, Buffy."

"Okay. Not tonight then. Now how about that shower? My stomach's not at its best tonight and the smell of booze isn't helping."

Giles was immediately all concern.

"Are you unwell? What's the matter?"

"It's no big. Just a little yucky. When Xander brought me my coffee tonight, I almost lost it for a minute."

"And here am I making things worse. I'd best go clean up, then. Care to join me?" He smiled and quirked an eyebrow.

"I thought you'd never ask. You go first, though. I'll join you when you smell more like Ivory soap and less like Willy's Place."

*****

Giles let the warm sprays of water flow over his naked body. He already felt better. And soon Buffy would join him. He loved showering with Buffy. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that they invariably ended up making love when they did that.

First, though, he needed to wash away the dirt and depression of the day. He soaped himself thoroughly, letting the bubbles slide off from the water pressure. He let a tiny rueful laugh as he watched his penis erect. A Pavlovian Response to the shower.

The curtain pulled aside briefly as Buffy joined him. She ran her hands over his body as she inhaled deeply at his chest.

"Mmmm, you smell much better. That means you get a reward."

Giles bent his head to kiss his wife deeply as she moved her hands around to cup his ass cheeks.

"So what's my reward to be?"

"Me."

"Oh dear, I believe I already have one of those."

Buffy slapped his rump. "Smartass."

"Ouch! It does now."

"Ooh, sorry. Sometimes I don't know my own strength."

"So what are you going to do about my sore bum?" he teased.

"Kiss it and make it feel better?"

Giles smiled and turned to face away from his love, resting his hands against the shower wall. Buffy dropped to her knees behind him and ran her hands over his flanks. She began the kisses just above the backs of his knees, nibbling as her lips made their torturously slow way up his finely muscled thighs.

By the time she reached the firm globes of his ass, he was on fire for her. He bit back a moan as she ran her tongue along his cheeks. The combination of the warm water and Buffy's gentle hands had made him painfully hard. He swallowed, struggling for control.

Buffy, meanwhile, continued her exquisite torture of her husband's posterior. Long before she'd had any thought of loving him, she'd known she found this part of him attractive. Now that she also knew it was sensitive, she enjoyed taking her pleasure with it.

She smothered a giggle as she contemplated the fact that a week before, she had never even considered kissing someone's ass in any sense of the term, and now, here she was on her knees doing precisely that for a man she had once considered hopelessly stuffy. Giles was definitely full of surprises. The good kind.

Finally Giles reached out to turn off the taps. For one thing, they were going to run out of hot water soon, and for another, he wanted to move their activities to the bedroom. Buffy stood and they got out of the shower, grabbing towels as they went. As soon as they were fairly dry, Giles picked Buffy up and carried her up the stairs, depositing her on the bed.

As he rolled his wife to her stomach, she asked him what he was doing.

"Turnabout is fair play, luv" he told her as he began to fondle and kiss her buttocks. Buffy squirmed in pleasure and laughed breathlessly. Giles spread her legs apart, dipping his fingers into her sex as he continued to tease her rear. He found her more than ready.

After a few minutes of touching her, Giles wanted more. He gently coaxed Buffy up to her knees and knelt behind her. With one quick thrust he sheathed himself inside her. Both groaned at the delightful sensation of completion.

They loved one another long and slow that night, with all the passion they held for one another, then fell asleep, exhausted.

When the morning came, Giles was not terribly surprised that Buffy hadn't woken by the time he went for his run. They'd rather outdone themselves the previous evening, after all, and Buffy had never been a morning person. Let her sleep. He dropped a soft kiss on her forehead as he was leaving the loft.

*****

"May I have a word with you after class, Buffy?"

"Um, yeah. Of course, Professor Baird."

Buffy sank in her seat. What did he want? How had she screwed up? She thought she was finally doing well in history. Now the teacher was asking to see her privately in a cryptic manner. That could only bode ill.

The past few days had not been Buffy's best. She'd been tired and vaguely nauseous off and on, and Giles had been moody. He would snap at her one moment and carry her off to the bedroom to make desperately passionate love to her the next. The Jekyll/Hyde act was wearing thin. All she needed on top of that was a lecture about how her schoolwork was falling off.

When the rest of the students filed out, Buffy approached Professor Baird nervously. He waited until the last of her classmates had gone to speak to her.

"Don't look so scared. I'm not going to eat you, you know." He told her with some humor.

"That's good. But if you're going to yell at me, could you make it quick?"

"Yell at you? Why would I do that? You've been in class for every session, you've participated in class discussion, and your last paper was not only well written, but highly original. And I mean that in a good way. But that isn't what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Then what is it?"

"Let's discuss it over lunch, shall we?"

Buffy looked blankly at him. "Lunch?"

"Well we both need to eat. And I always find that lunch is a friendly meal. It's easy to talk things over at lunchtime."

"I don't know, Professor Baird. It seems kind of weird."

"There's nothing the least bit weird about it and my name is Leo. Leopold, really, but that's between you and me." He winked at her with a smile. "You know that Rupert is probably my best friend, and I want to know all about you. I can tell we're going to be friends, too. That is, we will be if you give me all the dirt on my good friend. How did the two of you meet?"

"It's really...not all that interesting. He was the librarian at my high school. So that's it. Story told."

"Not by a longshot, Buffy. Not by a longshot. Now, how do you feel about Greek food? There's a delightful little place nearby where you can get the best moussaka."

*****

By the time their food arrived, Buffy was wondering why she'd ever felt strange about going to lunch with her professor. She'd decided she really liked this odd, roly-poly little man. In addition to being vastly intelligent, he was a terrible gossip and kept her laughing aloud with outrageous stories of other faculty members. He knew everybody, had an opinion on everything, and held no malice toward anyone so far as Buffy could tell. She wondered where Giles had been hiding his friend all this time.

"So how do you know Rupert?" she asked him. "He's never mentioned you to me."

"And I cannot tell you how much that hurts me. You and I should have met and spent hours gossiping about him ages ago. Anyway, how I met Rupert Giles...ah yes, it was about twenty-five years ago, or so. I was the one who brought him back, you see."


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