Title: Slayer Central chapter 8
Author: Gileswench
Contact: gileswench@yahoo.com
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.



"Hold still, dammit!"

"Bloody hell! Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"Of course I do. It's not like I've never done a dye job before."

Spike sputtered and struggled as Cordelia ducked his head under the water again.

"And quit being such a baby!"

The vampire wrenched himself free. He stood panting for breath.

"What're you doing? Trying to bloody kill me?"

"As if. Anyway, you can't drown. You don't even have to breathe. Now one more rinse, and we're done, though you really should have let me choose a new shade for you. This whole Billy Idol thing doesn't work with a buzz cut."

"It's my sodding hair, and I'll have it the color I like."

"You can't even see it. Anyway, tonight we go to the mall and get you new contacts. If I have to sit and stare at those goofy glasses another night, I'm gonna scream really loud. And maybe we should try extensions on the hair."

Cordelia shoved Spike's head under the water again. She pointedly ignored the two-finger salute he gave her.

*****

Buffy looked up at the timid knock on her door.

"Yeah? Come in."

Willow peeked around the door.

"Hey Will. What's up?"

"Just thought I'd come and see how you're doing. Climbed any good walls lately?"

Buffy smiled wryly and patted the bed to invite her friend to sit down.

"What's Rupert been telling you?"

Willow shrugged as she sat.

"Not that much, but I can sorta read between the lines. Y'know, the ones where he kinda frowns when he tells us you're doing okay and it's no problem."

"Oh. Those lines. I know I get pretty awful Will, but I can't seem to help it. Trust me, being bored, scared, and really, really hormonal is not all it's cracked up to be. Throw in a great big dumptruck of guilt on top of that, and we're talking Bitchy Buffy and Rueful Rupert."

"So where's the guilt trucked in from?"

"This is all my fault, Will. If I hadn't gotten pregnant, none of this would have happened."

"I think maybe Giles helped a little bit with that, Buff. A-and it's not so bad. All of us living here together. Okay, so maybe not my first choice when I was thinking of housing for the semester, but not so bad. And maybe there's a couple people who would not have been on the guest list in my perfect world..."

"For which read: Cordelia and Anya."

"And possibly even Spike."

"Sorry."

"Stop that, Buffy! Hey, it's not like Faith moved in, right? She can still bite. In fact, she can bite the big one and I wouldn't mind a bit, but that's sorta off the subject, I guess, which is you shouldn't feel bad about this."

"Why not, Will? I put everyone in this house in danger and now I can't even help protect you."

"So you let us protect you for a change. Lie back and enjoy being a lady of leisure. Heck, let Giles spoil you rotten. Rest up now, 'cause I hear that new parents don't get much in the way of sleep."

"Way to see the glass half full, Will."

The redhead stood.

"I gotta go now. Class."

"Can't you stay just a little longer?"

"Sorry, Buff, but time and Calculus wait for no witch."

"Okay, see ya'."

As soon as the door closed behind Willow, Buffy turned her face to the pillow and let her tears fall.

*****

"A divorce? Oh, Crystal, I'm sorry."

Crystal shrugged.

"It's not so bad, I guess. It wasn't really much of a marriage, was it?"

Giles patted the girl's shoulder awkwardly.

"Still..."

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence descended.

"Would you like some tea, Crystal?" Wesley fell back on the traditional English standby.

"Um...no thanks. I just wanted to stop by and let you know I'd made up my mind. Finally."

"Rest assured we'll do everything we can to help. If there's anything you need, well, Buffy and I will be happy to take care of it."

"Thanks, Rupert. Just help me find Hank, okay?"

"Of course. Now when last you heard, he was in Spain, yes?"

"Yeah. Madrid, I think."

"We'll find him. I promise. What's more, we'll see to it that he supports your baby. He may have walked out on you, but that child will be cared for."

Crystal nodded and rose.

"I'm gonna go now. Xander's dropping me by the hospital to see Joyce."

"Tell her Buffy and I will be there tomorrow, before she goes into surgery. And I'll try to pop by after work today."

"Sure. Bye."

When Crystal was gone, Giles sighed and opened the book before him.

"Honestly, when I think of what that man put her through, I could cheerfully wring his neck. She's just a child. I shouldn't be surprised if she never trusts another man in her life."

At Wesley's lack of reply, Giles looked up to see and odd look on the younger man's face.

"Wesley? Are you quite alright?"

Wesley started.

"Yes, yes, fine. I just had a thought. Perhaps...perhaps there's something in the Prophecies of Antonius."

He jumped from his chair to find the volume. Giles raised one eyebrow as he noticed that Wesley had just gone to look for the volume he'd finished with as Crystal arrived.

*****

"I think I totally screwed up, Tara. Buffy didn't look any happier when I left than when I got there. In fact, I think she looked less happy."

Willow adjusted the armload of books she carried as she walked towards home.

"She's got a lot to deal with right now."

"I know that. I just don't know what to do to fix it."

"That's the problem; you can't fix it. Neither can Buffy. You're both used to having stuff you can fight like vampires and spells to break and stuff. Now it's all shadows and medical problems and the government. Believe me, if someone had come up with a spell to make Immigration less threatening, somebody would have cast it by now."

"At least that icky woman hasn't been back for a while. Hey, do you think they've decided to get off Buffy and Giles' backs?"

"Probably not. I think these investigations last a while. And it's not like she's had a chance to see what they're really like together. I'm betting we'll see Ms. Pennington again...real soon. Like now."

Willow followed her girlfriend's gaze to the porch of their new home. There stood Lois Pennington, her finger on the doorbell.

"Tara, could we maybe just not be home right now?"

*****

Cordelia swung the door open. She had not been having a good day. Spike had been nothing but trouble the entire time she was dying his hair, Buffy was in hormonal overload, and Angel had yelled at her yet again for not working things out one way or the other with Wesley. The last thing she wanted to deal with was unexpected visitors.

"Lois Pennington, INS. I understand that Buffy and Rupert Giles reside here?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

Ms. Pennington made a move to enter, but Cordelia blocked the door.

"Do you also live here, Miss....?"

"Chase. Cordelia Chase. Yeah, I live here."

"Mr. Giles made no mention of a roommate when he informed us of his move."

"Housemate. He has his room, I have mine. Lots of rooms, lots of housemates."

"Does Mr. Giles share his room with anyone?"

"Well, yeah! Buffy. I thought you said you knew they were married? Oh my God! You think...you can't think...you really...?"

Cordelia burst out laughing. Ms. Pennington looked annoyed. She was used to people quaking with fear in her presence, not doing creditable impressions of hyenas.

As Willow and Tara approached the door, Cordelia called to them.

"Guys, you have to hear this! It's too funny. This...government pinhead thinks Buffy and Giles got married for his green card! Can you believe it?"


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