Title: Big Bad By The Bay 4/10
Author: Gileswench
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue. Oh, and I don't own The Simpsons, Indigo girls, or San Francisco either, but I promise to put them right back where I found them.

Cordelia flung a handfull of popcorn at the tv screen.

"Oh, please! This is supposed to be scary? I've found scarier things at the back of the refrigerator at work!"

Angel shook his head.

"I've met Dracula. He's not anything like this. And the hair, that's just wrong."

"I thought Coppola was into realism."

"Apocalypse Now was good."

"But this just sucks."

Cordelia picked up the remote and flipped the channel.

"You didn't want to watch the rest, did you?"

"No way," Angel snorted. "Maybe we can find a good, mindless comedy."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

Angel looked curiously at Cordelia.

"Hey, I just thought of something: you haven't bitten your nails once since we turned on the tv. Why is that?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's the company"

Angel reddened to the tips of his ears.

"Huh," Cordelia noted, "vampires blush. Who knew?"

"Not too many people. Most vampires are pretty hard to embarrass."

"Hey, if it's embarrassable, I can embarrass it - even me."

"Does this have something to do with you wanting to spend the night in here?"

Cordelia picked up the remote and went channel surfing.

"Stop being Percepto-guy."

"Cordy, would you just tell me what happened?"

The girl dropped the remote to the bedspread and her gaze to her knees.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well I do. You've been on edge for days now. You stomp around the office, you've been chewing on your fingernails constantly, and you nearly reduced Wesley to tears the other day when he forgot it was his turn to clean the coffee pot. What gives? Will you please just talk to me?"

Cordelia stood and began to pace the room.

"And Mr. Percepto runs to his phone booth and poof! He's Clueless Man again."

"Meaning what, Cordy?" Angel took her hands to stop her movements. "And will you just stay in one place? I can't talk to you like this."

"Get your hands off me."

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on. Dammit, Cordelia, I can't watch you self-destruct like this. Don't you have any idea how much I care about you?"

"How much? How much do you care? All you've been able to talk about for days is Buffy. 'I'm going to see Buffy again', 'Gee I hope Buffy's doing alright now she's alive again', 'It'll be so good working with Buffy!' Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! I'm so sick of Buffy!"

Angel shook his head.

"All this is about Buffy?"

"See? There you go again!"

"I don't believe this."

"You and me both. I just....I just wanted you to...to..."

"To what, Cordy?"

She turned her large eyes to his.

"To notice me, Angel. Just once, to see me instead of her."

"Cordy..."

"No, it's okay, Angel," she seemed almost to deflate once her anger had gone. "I know I can't be her. And frankly, with her fashion sense, I don't want to be. I'd just like to be the one who wins for a change."

Angel wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Oh God! It's the brotherly hug of doom. That means the 'I'll always be your friend' speech is on the way next."

"Cordelia..."

"No! Don't say it. I can do it as long as you don't say it."

"Cordelia..."

"I mean, humiliated, yeah, but if you don't say it, I get to keep a little dignity here."

"Cordelia..."

"Please don't say it."

Angel pulled her closer and kissed her hard on the lips. At first, Cordelia was immobilized by shock. Soon, though, she began to kiss him back with everything she had. When he pulled back, Angel took her face in his hands.

"You don't get it, do you, Cordy? There's no competition. What I had with Buffy was something special, but it's over. It has been for a long time. I want to be with you."

"Then that works out, because I want to be with you, too."

"It's just...I can't."

"Can't? Can't wha...oh. Can't that."

"Y'know, with the curse."

"Darn curse."

"You know that if I could..."

"Yeah. If you could."

Cordelia disentangled herself from Angel's arms.

"Maybe I should go to my room now."

"Yeah. Maybe you'd better."

When she reached the door, Cordelia turned around.

"Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you. I just thought maybe you should know."

Before he could reply, she was gone.

*****

Kate brought two drinks back to the table in the darkened corner of the hotel bar.

"Thanks, Dollface. I'll pay for the next round, but you know I can't..."

"Belly up to the bar. I know."

Kate smiled at her boss over her vodka tonic as he took a sip of his Seabreeze.

"So, how is it?"

"Nothing compared to one of yours, but it'll do. So tell me more about this theory of yours."

"Which one? The one where my boss is crazy and I've never been happier?"

Lorne chuckled.

"At least I like the second part of that equation. But then, Mom would agree with you about the first part. No, I was talking about the love...I guess triangle is wrong if there are four corners. Love square?"

"How about a rectangle?"

"Mmmm, because their lives are a wreck and a tangle?"

"You got it."

"So who's the fourth?"

Kate stared at Lorne. She'd never seen him so clueless.

"Cordelia, of course. She's in love with Angel."

"Really? You don't say. Still, it makes a certain twisted sense."

"And Angel may or may not still be in love with Buffy, but Giles definitely is. As for Buffy, I'm not really sure, but I think she's pretty gone on Giles. Then again, there's Angel. I get the idea it was a pretty intense relationship. Plenty of guilt going on there."

"I've never met four people who could get themselves tied into more knots. The emotional contortionism is starting to get to me."

"Leaving you and me as the sane people on this trip."

Lorne shuddered.

"That's one of the scarier concepts I've ever met. So how did you get all this without hearing them sing?"

"Oh, they sing alright. They just don't know it. I saw it plenty of times when I was on the force. You get to know the signs."

"And that's why we make such a terrific team, Katie. Now how do we straighten them all out?"

"I'm not sure we do. I think if anybody does, it kinda has to be them."

Lorne looked disappointed.

"Are you sure? You know meddle is my middle name."

"Pretty sure," Kate laughed.

"Darn." Lorne sipped his drink. "And what about you, blue eyes?"

"What about me?"

"What's a gorgeous girl like you doing with no one to serenade you on a Saturday night?"

Kate blushed slightly.

"Well, I guess most of the guys I meet these days are buying drinks from me. It's a bad idea to date customers."

"What about not customers? You know a few of those."

"None of them seem very interested. In fact, the one I like best, I happen to know for a fact wouldn't be interested in me. I've learned to live with it."

"Such a waste. All that beauty and brains with nobody to do the Barry thing."

"Manilow?"

"Bite your tongue! I meant White."

As the two laughed, a man approached the table with a slight wobble and tapped Kate on  the shoulder.

"Excuse me, I'd like to buy you a drink."

Kate stopped laughing.

"Thanks, I've already got one."

"But you could ditch this fruit and spend a little time with me."

"The 'fruit' is my friend. And you're drunk."

The man pulled out his wallet.

"No, really, how much? Whatever he's paying you, I have more."

Before Kate could reply, Lorne was on his feet. He threw his drink in rhe intruders' face.

"The lady is with me. And if you don't want to hear a tribute to Tina Turner outside your window at three in the morning, I suggest you leave her alone."

"What the hell kind of threat is that? You want to fight, fight like a man!"

"Well, usually I'm a singer, not a fighter, but you asked for it."

Lorne lashed out with his fist only to find nothing but empty air due to the fact that Kate had already kidney punched the barfly into submission. She glared at Lorne.

"Of all the stupid, male chauvinistic, idiotic things to do!"

"What? I was protecting your honor."

"I don't need protecting, dammit! I was a cop for ten years and I made detective. I'm not a damsel in distress, and I don't need you or any man to save me; got it?"

She strode off at a furious pace. After a stunned moment, Lorne followed offering apologies all the way.

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