Title: Big Bad By The Bay 7/10
Author: Gileswench
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly
sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I
just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my
twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue. Oh, and I
don't own The Simpsons, Indigo girls, or San Francisco either, but I
promise to put them right back where I found them.
Half an hour later, all six members of the Apocalypse averting team were gathered in the men's bedroom to discuss strategy. Despite the fact that Buffy and Cordelia were ensconced in a corner of the room making Cordy's ragged fingernails presentable, both girls were fully involved with the planning as well.
"So we're going to a bathhouse in the Castro to find and destroy a donut?"
Kate still couldn't quite grasp the concept.
"Is it a jelly?" Buffy called from her corner.
"It isn't a donut at all," Giles huffed. "It's an ancient artifact of great mystical energy that is merely shaped like a donut."
"So, no jelly."
"No, Buffy, there is no jelly in the blasted thing."
The Slayer smiled.
"Gotcha. So how do I destroy it?"
"With this staff."
Angel pointed to an illustration in a book he'd brought from LA.
"It was made at the same time as the donut...which isn't...a donut. Anyway, we need to find the staff and use it to smash the ring of power before the followers of Dohnohtus can finish the incantation to bring forth their demon lord."
"So all I need is one good whack, right?"
"Precisely, Buffy," Giles agreed. "Otherwise, the world and all the creatures upon it will be destroyed."
"No pressure there."
"The part I don't get is the one in the vision where I saw Homer Simpson with one of those machines from the hospital shows," Cordelia said. "Y'know, that thing where the doctor yells 'clear!' and then the guy on the table usually flatlines?"
Giles sucked thoughtfully on one earpiece of his glasses.
"A defribulator, yes. I'm afraid I don't understand where that fits in, either. We'll just have to be ready for anything, I suppose."
"Well, I don't know about anybody else, but I'm ready for bed," Buffy announced as she screwed that last bottle of nail polish shut. "If I'm going to do the Slaything tomorrow night, I need my shut eye now."
"That's probably best," Giles agreed.
Cordelia shot a significant look to Angel who shifted uncomfortably before speaking.
"Um...Buffy, Giles...you can, y'know, if you want...well...what I mean is..."
"What Mr. Eloquence 2001 is trying to say," Cordelia interrupted, "is if you guys want, Angel and I can go somewhere else and stay up late while you guys...y'know, stay here."
"Are you guys sure?" Buffy asked.
"Well, I don't really sleep well at night," Angel offered.
"And if I'm going to be dating a vampire, I should probably get used to late nights. Anyway, my nails haven't dried."
"W-well...it's a most...generous offer...if...if you're quite certain...?"
"Giles. Breathe." Buffy turned to Cordelia. "We'll take you up on it."
"So, to clarify, does that mean I'm sleeping next door?" Lorne asked.
"Yes, it does," Kate informed him as she took hold of his tie to lead him out of the room.
"Well, as long as we're clear on that. Good night and sweet dreams to anyone who's actually visiting Dreamland tonight."
The pair left the room. Angel hesitated a moment.
"Hey! Angel!" Cordelia scolded him, "Three's a crowd and I need cappuccino if I'm staying up all night."
The girl headed out the door.
"I'll be right there, Cordy." He held out a hand to Giles. "I just...take good care of Buffy, Giles."
"Always. It's what I do."
Giles took the proffered hand briefly.
"Now go on, Angel. Cordelia is not the sort of girl to be left waiting."
The vampire smiled and gave a self-deprecating chuckle.
"No, she's not. Um...Buffy...?"
"Angel," she interrupted. "Go on. Your girlfriend's waiting."
"No, I know that, I was just wondering...how long until her nails dry?"
"By the time she's had her cappuccino. Good luck."
"You too."
Angel headed out the door. At the last moment, he stopped and turned back with a giggle.
"Girlfriend. I have a girlfriend!"
He hurried out to catch up with Cordelia.
As soon as they were alone, Giles moved to Buffy's side and put an arm around her shoulders. She responded by wrapping her arms around his waist and nestling her cheek against his chest.
"Mmmmmm, nice. I could stay like this for, like, ever."
Giles rested his chin on top of Buffy's head and simply held her silently.
At last he spoke.
"Buffy? Would you mind terribly if we...didn't make love, just yet?"
Buffy pulled back slightly and looked up.
"You don't want to?"
"I-it's not that. It's just...well I had no idea this would happen. I thought we were coming here to save the world again, not to have a dirty weekend."
"So this is your ever so suave way of saying you didn't bring any condoms and the drugstores are all closed?"
"I'm sorry."
It's okay. Oddly enough, I wasn't really prepared for this either. We could cuddle, though. Cuddling's good."
She felt a chuckle vibrate through Giles' chest.
"Cuddling's very good."
*****
The next evening, the six met just before sundown.
"Okay, is everybody clear on the plan?" Buffy asked. Four heads nodded
their assent. "Angel? Is there a problem?"
"It's just...why do I have to be the one pretending to be a customer?"
"Have you looked at the options? Cordy, Kate and I are all girls. We'd look kinda funny going into a place that's gay guys only. And Lorne is all green and scaly with red horns. Not exactly incognito guy."
"What about Giles?"
"He's older than their usual customers and English which makes him stand out in a crowd. And besides, there's no way I'm sending my boyfriend in there for a bunch of guys to hit on."
"But he looks way gayer than Angel," Cordelia protested. "He's even wearing an earring."
"Be that as it may," Giles reminded her, "Angel is the one with vampire strength and I'm the one who can perform the incantation to find the staff. If we reversed roles, the plan would fall apart. No, we'd best stick with what Buffy has decided."
"Xander was right; Buffy really is Watcher's pet."
"I don't have time for this, Cordy. Angel, are you clear?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah. I'm clear. I get to be the gay guy. The pretend gay guy, that is. I'm just pretending, okay?"
"Okay, testosterone guy. You're pretending. Are we ready?" Buffy locked eyes with Giles. At his slight nod, the group gathered up their equipment and headed out.