Title: Full Of Love 2/10
Author: Gileswench
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I
just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my
twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.
The next morning, once Giles had finally gotten a chance in the single bathroom in the house so he could shower and shave, he came downstairs to a peculiar state of affairs. He walked into the kitchen only to find Rona and Amanda staring at him, then turning to one another and bursting into fits of giggles. The girls ran out of the room, still laughing. He looked after them with a raised eyebrow.
"I wonder what that's all about?" he muttered.
He turned to the stove and began brewing his first pot of tea of the day. Moments later, Willow and Kennedy appeared, holding hands. When they saw Giles, they stopped dead in their tracks and repeated the same performance as the other two girls.
"Most extraordinary," he mused after their retreating backs.
He sat down to a relaxing cuppa and the morning paper. He was just settling down to a nice, juicy story about some fellow caught loitering in Weatherly Park when the paper crumpled suddenly and he found himself staring Dawn in the face.
"Is Buffy on drugs?" she demanded.
"Wh-what?"
"You heard me. Did you give her something funny, like when she turned eighteen?"
"As I recall, the last thing I gave her, as you put it, was a lecture on responsibility."
"Right. Okay." Dawn slumped into a chair. "So...someone else must have drugged her, because she's not Buffy. She's like...robot Buffy. All perky. Giles, what's wrong with her?"
He sighed and folded the paper as best he could in light of the recent attack on it.
"Let's begin at the beginning, shall we?" he said. "What has Buffy done that is so out of the ordinary?"
"Well, when she came down to give the big, daily motivational, 'we're all going to die' speech, she didn't. She said stuff that really was motivating about all the stuff we're fighting for, like puppies and apple pie and a world with no Celine Dion music in it, which, I could totally get behind, but it's not like her. Then she told us all we have to take opportunities...like the one she said she took last night to ask you on a date which she said she's wanted to do for years. Creepy, huh?"
"She...she told...oh dear lord! No wonder everyone is behaving so strangely."
"So, it's like some demon thingy, right? 'Cause I know Buffy would never in a million years ask you out."
"Is it that hard to believe?"
"Harder."
"And yet..."
Dawn stared, dumbfounded.
"Really?" she squeaked. "Buffy asked you out? What did you say? She said you said yes, but that's gotta be wrong."
"No, she was perfectly correct, though I do wish she hadn't decided to broadcast the news to the entire household."
"But you can't go out with Buffy!"
"Why not?"
"Because...because...you're so old, and you're her Watcher...or you were...or you are...are you or aren't you?"
Giles considered for a moment.
"I honestly don't know what I am. There is no more Council, so I suppose, officially, there are no Watchers. Perhaps I'm not one, anymore. At any rate I haven't acted in that capacity for more than a year. And as for my advanced age...it would appear that isn't such an obstacle to Buffy's way of thinking, which surprises me every bit as much as it surprises you. Still, if she has no objection, I certainly have none. Your sister is quite old enough to make up her own mind whom she'd like to see socially. Is that a complete list of your concerns?"
Dawn slumped in her chair and folded her arms across her chest.
"It's just all wrong. Yesterday, she was mopey and bossy and a total wet blanket, and today she's all sunshine and little birdies and Disney happy. It's wigging me."
Giles tried, but he couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from twitching into a smile.
"You're upset that your sister is happy? Is that it?"
"Well...when you put it like that..." the girl shook her head. "I still say it's freaky, but I guess it could be worse. At least she's not all miserable, like she was when she was with Spike. And at least I know you'll never try to..." her face went pale when she realized what she'd been about to say. "Make her sad," she recovered. "You'll make it better, right?" She got up from the table quickly. "Well, I should get to school. Lots to learn before the world ends."
She found herself impeded in her progress by Giles' hand on her arm.
"I'll never try to what?" he asked quietly. "Dawn, did Spike hurt Buffy in some way I don't know about?"
"N-no. He...he was just all mean to her, that's all. I gotta go."
Giles let her go, though he watched the doorway for some moments after she left.
*****
That evening, all the Slayers in training sat crowded downstairs while Buffy and Giles commandeered two of the bedrooms to prepare for their date. He rummaged yet again through the pathetic selection of shirts he'd brought with him in his mad dash to Sunnydale.
"Stupid jumpers," he muttered. "Didn't I bring even one dress shirt?"
His hand lit on something that didn't feel knitted. He pulled it out.
"Yes," he said, "that will do very nicely."
He shrugged on the bronze-colored shirt and buttoned it up. He started to look for a tie, but realized it was not only futile, but probably not something Buffy wanted to see. He settled for leaving the first two buttons undone.
"Now, about that earring..."
He pulled a small silver hoop out of a box and worked it into his earlobe. He had to admit, he liked the rakish look. He hoped Buffy would, too.
*****
Buffy rifled through her closet yet again for something to wear. Since her return to life, clothes shopping had been less of a priority for her than it was before, and she was feeling the pinch.
"There's nothing in here that looks like a grown woman would wear it," she groaned in frustration. "Have I always been such a fashion victim?"
At last, she settled on a ruffled black skirt and a fairly modest white blouse. A pair of black leather boots and several small pieces of jewelry finished off the look.
"Not bad," she decided, looking in the mirror. "Adult, stylish, date-y. I just hope Giles looks this good."
She took a deep breath, and opened the bedroom door. No point in waiting for the inevitable gawking. She headed down the stairs.
As predicted, a large crowd of Scoobies and Potentials was waiting to see the pair off. The scene reminded her of the ending of The Birds, as she picked her way through the mass of murmuring girlhood, careful not to step on any of them. When she reached the bottom stair, Willow grabbed her hand and squeezed it giddily.
"You look great, Buff. You're gonna knock Giles' socks off...in a metaphorical way."
"So you're okay with this? Really?"
"Gotta be better than some other options you've taken up. Oh, and here." She pressed something into Buffy's hand. "Just, y'know, in case."
Buffy opened her hand to peer at its contents. She folded her fingers over the foil slips quickly.
"Will!" she hissed. "Are you crazy?"
"Like I said, it's an in case thing. Better safe than nesting, if you know what I mean."
"Yeah, I got it, oh Queen of Subtle."
At a sound from the top of the stairs, she hurriedly shoved the condoms into her pocket. When she looked up, she decided maybe Willow had been right after all. Giles did look pretty edible, she had to admit. A surge of jealousy raced through her when she realized several of the Potentials were having the same thought. Then again, she couldn't stay jealous. Other women might be looking at him, but he clearly only had eyes for his date. She smiled at him. He smiled back. Suddenly, he seemed to become aware of the audience.
"Have none of you got better things to do than stand about staring?" he demanded.
Potentials scattered by twos and threes, whispering and giggling behind their hands. Soon only Willow, Xander, and Dawn were left. Giles rolled his eyes at them.
"I suppose you feel it necessary to launch us like a cruise ship?" he said with weary resignation.
"Hey, Buffy's my sister. I have to make sure the guy she's dating has a heartbeat."
Giles' lips twitched slightly as he held out his wrist to Dawn.
"I believe you'll find my credentials are in order," he said.
The girl solemnly checked for a pulse, then nodded.
"Okay. This one's alive," she told her sister. "You can go out with him."
"Thanks," Buffy returned wryly. "And just wait until your first date, when I pull out the videotapes of your potty training."
"You wouldn't."
"Where I've got them hidden, you'll never find them, kiddo. So behave."
Dawn folded her arms across her chest and moved to the living room, where she flopped on the sofa. Xander moved to the fore.
"Now I'm reasonably sure you don't have embarrassing videotapes of me, so I'm going to ask: are you guys prepared?"
"Prepared for what?" Buffy asked dangerously.
"Duh! Vampires! I mean, you guys are on foot, right? And this is still the Hellmouth."
"I have stakes in my jacket, and a couple more hidden in my boots. That good enough?"
"And I'm out with the Slayer. If worst comes to worst, I'm sure she'll protect me," Giles added.
"Darn tootin'! So, are we done?"
Willow and Xander looked at each other. The redhead produced a camera.
"Not quite," she said. "Say 'cheese'!"
She pointed. Buffy and Giles grimaced, then stood close.
"Limburger," they both said solemnly.
"Just smile, already," Willow said impatiently.
The pair followed orders, and were finally allowed out the door.