Title: Full Of Love 3/10
Author: Gileswench
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.

They walked slowly, neither feeling any need to hurry for once. Both were quiet for a time. Buffy stayed silent because she wasn't quite sure what to say, and Giles because he wanted to savor the moment. He feared the words that would make this night the travesty he half-worried it still might be. He kept his hands resolutely in his pockets and his gaze straight ahead. As long as she didn't say it was a joke, he could pretend it was real.

At last, Buffy spoke.

"This is so dumb."

Giles' heart sank like a stone.

"Did...did you wish to go home, now?" he forced himself to ask.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

"You don't want to go out?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"You - you mean...you do? You want to be out on a date with me?"

"Sorta why I asked. Did you want to call it off? Is it that bad an idea?"

"No, no, of course not," he assured her. "I want to be here. That is, if you do."

"See, this is what I was talking about. This is dumb."

"What's dumb?"

"This. You and me not being able to talk about anything. We used to talk about stuff. Now we can't even find enough conversation to get us to a restaurant. I don't want things to be this way anymore."

"Nor do I."

"Can we...can we be us again?"

"Not the way we were. Not really. We can't turn back the clock, Buffy. But perhaps we can find a new sort of us to be."

"I'd like that," she said a bit shyly. "So, could the new you, maybe take his hands out of his pockets and actually make physical contact with his date?"

"I do believe that could be arranged."

He held out his hand and she took it, not the way a child would, but lacing her fingers with his. She smiled up at him.

"That's better," she said.

"Yes, it certainly is. But I think it could be better still."

"How?"

"Like this."

He pulled her closer, drawing her into his arms. She nestled her cheek against his chest and sighed happily.

"You're so right," she said. "That's my Watcher guy; the one with all the good ideas."

"About time you figured that out," he teased. He allowed himself another moment to simply enjoy her warm body against his. At last, though, he drew slightly back. "Come on, then. We don't want to lose our reservations, do we?"

"Depends on what reservations you're talking about. But the dinner ones, we really don't want to lose. Some of the others? It's about time we did."

"As many as you like," he said.

"You better not be teasing, because I might just take you up on that."

They continued on their way, arms about one anothers' waists, flirting outrageously.

*****

Spike stomped into the living room. His nostrils flared, his hands were clenched tightly at his side.

"Is it true?" he barked at Xander.

"Is what true?"

"What the Niblet told me. She's out there...with that...that...broken down old librarian?"

"Oh," Xander grinned. "You mean *Buffy*. Yeah. She's out with Giles. On a date. I wouldn't wait up."

"But...she can't."

"Why not? They both seemed pretty happy with the idea, and I don't see what business it is of yours."

"He's old."

Xander bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"That's a good one, grandpa," he said as soon as he could manage it. "And hey, he's got a heartbeat, which is more than I can say for some guys she's dated. Face it, Peroxide Boy, you're the ex. In fact, after what you tried to do to her, count yourself lucky that you lived long enough for me to call you that. If you ask me, Buffy's taste in men has improved a whole lot."

"I don't remember asking you anything, you sodding poofter."

"Well, I'm telling you, anyway. Don't make any trouble for them."

"Or what?" the vampire sneered. "You'll stake me? Just remember, Buffy still wants me here. You'd never go against her. You're too Slayer whipped."

"Maybe. But at least Buffy knows she can count on me. She's never been able to say that about you, has she? And soul or no soul, I don't see a lot of difference in the way you treat her. It's all about what you want, what you need, and what you think you deserve. If you really cared about her, you'd have taken a walk in the sun by now. Have you ever even apologized to her?"

"Have you and Red?" When Xander flushed guiltily, Spike gloated. "Thought not. I'm not the one who brought her back and then left her to dig herself out of her own grave. I stuck by her when you and the others all ran away as soon as you knew where you'd saved her from. Don't get on your high horse and tell me I'm the bad guy."

"I may not be perfect, but I never tried to rape her."

"No. But you're the one who broke her down."

"And you're the one who took advantage of it. She'd never have let you near her if she wasn't so bad off."

"Y'know, it must just eat you up inside, knowing it's all your fault I got to shag her rotten all that time." He smiled as Xander flinched. "You always wanted her, didn't you? But she didn't turn to you. When things got bad, she turned to me to make them better. And it was fan-bloody-tastic. Muscles I never knew women had. And talk about your stamina!"

"Shut up, Spike."

"Slayers aren't like other girls, you know. They like it kinky. Like it rough. If you knew some of the places we did it...some of the games she liked to play...once we even did it where she could watch you and Red and your demon the whole time and laugh at you."

"That's a lie!"

"You'd like to think so, wouldn't you?" The vampire lit up a cigarette. "She thinks you're nothing but a lapdog."

That's when Xander took the first swing.

*****

Giles guided his fork to Buffy's mouth. He nearly groaned as he slid it back and watched her tongue flicker out to gather up an errant drop of cream sauce from her lower lip. The little satisfied sound she made delighted him. This both was and wasn't the Buffy he remembered. In every way that counted, she was the girl he'd met so long ago in the Sunnydale High library, but she showed evidence of a maturity he'd never seen before. Sometimes it was hard to believe she was so young.

But there were also times he could pretend her destiny hadn't robbed her of her youth.

"Mmmm, yummy," she pronounced as soon as she'd swallowed. "Want a bit of mine?"

He leaned forward to accept the proffered bite. As it passed his lips, he smiled at her.

"Delicious," he told her. After a moment, he spoke again. "What shall we do after dinner? Did you want to go to The Bronze? O-or possibly see a film?"

"You sound like you're sixteen, Giles," she giggled.

"You'd best hope I'm not, or I'd be a bit young for you. You might even get in trouble with the law."

"Like that would be something new. I just meant you seem a lot younger when you're happy. It's a good. We can use a good or two about now."

"Yes, we certainly can," he agreed. "So, have you decided what you'd like to do next?"

She set down her knife and fork.

"You know what I'd really, really love? A night where I don't share my room with six scared Potentials, and the certain knowledge that I can completely drain the hot water heater without a dozen teenage girls' bladders exploding because I'm hogging the only bathroom. I thought it was bad when it was just me, you, Dawn, Willow and Tara trying to share it. Now, there's a whole new definition of bad."

"It's astonishing the pipes have held so long."

"Xander's friend may have cost a bundle, but the work was good. And I guess my little hot water pipe dream is gonna have to stay that way until all this is over," she sighed.

"Not necessarily," he said slowly. "I do have some resouces left. We could...um...we could...go to a hotel. If you'd like. Have a night off from the overwhelming mass of girlhood."

Buffy frowned in thought.

"Are we talking one room or two?" she asked.

"Well...I...um, I suppose that depends."

"On what?"

"On whether or not you can stand to share your room with one very neat, very quiet man."

"Giles, are you...I mean...did you just proposition me?"

"Yes, actually." He reached across the table and took her hand in his own. "Look, under more normal circumstances, I wouldn't ask so quickly. I'd...wine you and dine you and possibly buy you bits of jewelry, and so on. It's just...I don't know when I'll have another chance...when we'll have another chance to be together like this. It's entirely up to you, of course, but I'd very much like to make love with you."

She looked at their entwined hands seriously.

"I don't know why," she said at last. "After everything I've done...all the stupid mistakes I've made. I'm no prize."

"No, you're not."

"Wh-what?" she asked, startled.

"You're not a prize. You never have been."

"Gee, thanks," she said. She started to pull her hand away, but he held it more firmly.

"I mean it, Buffy," he said seriously. "I've watched them. Angel, Riley, Spike, they all treated you as if you were...some sort of reward for a life well-lived, or a consolation prize for other things they'd lost. You're not. You're a strong, beautiful, stubborn, intelligent, confounding, and frustrating person in your own right. You're you, and there's nobody I'd rather be with. But it's also entirely your decision. If you decide you'd like a night all to yourself, then we shall have separate rooms, or even go home, if that's what you'd prefer. And if you'd like some time to decide, we can even have dessert in the meantime."

"Up to me, huh? Everything seems to be up to me, lately. World saving, sister raising, house caring, and now this. Is it really shallow of me to want to punt?"

"Probably," he chuckled. "But all those other things, you could ask for help with, you know. There are some forty people living in that house. Surely one or two of them might know a bit about some of those things, or would at least be willing to share the burden a little."

"And you do pick up after yourself...which is more than I can say for a couple of the Potentials. Or Dawn."

"So, what do you say, Buffy? Would you like a night off to sleep by yourself? Would you like to be held?"

"Would you care for some dessert?"

Both looked a bit startled at the waiter's question. A moment, later both were laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

"No, thanks," Buffy managed to gasp out at last. "I think we're ready for the check."

The waiter left the bill. Giles pulled out his wallet.

"Oh no, you don't," she said as she rummaged for her money. "I asked you out. Dinner's on me."

"I really don't mind..."

"Uh uh, Giles. We're living in the twenty-first century now. You know, the one where even women have jobs and can pay for their own meals."

"At least let me leave the tip."

"Nah, you're paying for two hotel rooms. I think I've got dinner."

"Ah. I see you've decided."

"Stop making with the puppy eyes," Buffy admonished him. "I...it's not that I wouldn't...I mean...it's just the first chance I've had to sleep alone in months. And that *so* didn't come out the way I meant."

"It's quite all right," he laughed. "Separate rooms, it is."

"I just need some time to myself to figure stuff out."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Buffy. As I said, the decision was entirely yours. And my offer was motivated as much by a wish to give you a bit of a break as it was by my libido."

Buffy nodded and counted out the money to leave for the check and the tip. She placed it on the table, and stood.

"Come on," she said, "let's go have some alone time."

He was pleased that she still twined her fingers with his as they left the restaurant.

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