Title: Giles Goes Bump in the Night
Author: Gileswench
Contact: gileswench@yahoo.com
Date: 7/8/04
Spoilers: None really, but it's set after the series finale.
Summary: Giles gets hurt, Buffy comforts him.
Rating: Hard R
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Category: Sillyfic
Distribution: If you've had my permission in the past, you have it now. All others, ask and ye shall receive.
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.
Notes: This one comes to you courtesy of Joanna's hurt/comfort challenge on the GRB the requirements of which are as follows: -
Anything goes character-wise, as long as Giles gets to be the hurt one

- The injury is relatively minor and non-life-threatening. Bonus points if he obtains it in a really stupid way that others might make fun of him for.

- Bonus points for creative use of first aid equipment.

Dedication: To Joanna, in hopes that she feels better soon.

That Morning:

"Is Giles gonna be okay?" Dawn asked nervously.

"Sure he is, Sweetie," Willow assured her uncertainly. "He's gonna be okay, right, Buffy?"

"What I don't get is how it happened," Xander said.

"Yeah, B, what's the scoop?" Faith asked. "You can tell us."

"He'll be fine," Buffy said quickly. "It's no biggie."

"Why don't you want to say what happened?" Willow persisted. "Is it gonna happen to the rest of us?"

"I really don't think so," Buffy said.

"How do you know?" Xander asked. "How can we be sure if you won't tell us how Giles got banged up?"

The Night Before:

The couple moved restlessly on the bed, locked in the timeless dance of love. They whispered vows as he thrust powerfully into her. They began to move faster, less rhythmically, even more passionately. They hovered on the edge of release.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" Suddenly, Giles' cries changed in tone. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" He collapsed on his lover, moaning piteously.

"What's wrong, Giles?" Buffy asked anxiously. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Oh lord, let me die now," he groaned.

"That's not what you usually say when we're doing this. What's wrong?"

"I've thrown my back," he mumbled into her shoulder. "I'm in a great deal of pain."

"Is it safe for me to roll you off before you crush me?"

Since Giles' only reply was another whimper, Buffy took a chance and wriggled out from under him. She sat up next to him, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.

"You gonna be okay?" she asked.

"No, but I've no doubt I'll soon be dead."

"Poor baby." She ruffled his hair and leaned down to kiss the crown of his head. "I'll get you some ice. Don't move a muscle."

"Very funny."

This morning:

"Really, it's no big," Buffy said. "It's not likely to be an epidemic."

"If it's no big, how come the paramedics showed up?" Dawn asked.

Last Night:

Giles groaned again as Buffy applied the ice to his back. The pain was still excruciating, but the embarrassment was even worse. The frustration was worse still.

"Please don't ever tell the others how this happened," he begged.

"What sort of masochist do you think I am?" Buffy demanded. "Do you really think I want to tell Xander and Willow - not to mention my little sister - that this happened while we were having sex? Now lie still and let me get you some more ice."

"There's no need, Buffy," he said. "This should be plenty."

"But it's melting and getting all drippy." She ran her fingers through his hair. "Sweetie, you're going to need more. I'll be right back." She leaned down to kiss him softly on the cheek. "I'm gonna make you all better as quick as I can."

With another kiss, she slid off the bed and hurried down the hall for more ice. Giles almost smiled, until he realized how badly he needed to go to the bathroom. The last time Buffy went for ice, she'd been gone a very long time. He felt sure it was at least half an hour.

This simply wasn't fair.

Still, time and a full bladder wait for no Slayer. There was nothing for it: he had to try to make it to the loo.

Inch by painful inch he made his way off the edge of the bed. He managed to get one foot firmly on the floor, then tried to repeat the exercise. Unfortunately, the other foot landed in a puddle of melted ice water.

Giles screamed as he slipped and twisted his ankle.

When Buffy got back a minute later, she found Giles lying on the floor with his foot at an odd angle.

"Omigod!" she yelped. "Giles! What happened? Don't worry; I'll call 911."

In her excitement, she dropped the ice. When it landed on his groin, Giles whimpered again.

This Morning:

"I thought his ankle was broken. I didn't know it was only sprained."

"How did the black eye happen?" Faith asked.

"When the paramedics were taking him out, they ran him into the door frame. Kinda hard. But at least it's all really minor stuff. He's gonna be okay with a little TLC, Buffy-style."

"If I recall correctly, that was what got me into this mess to begin with," Giles called from the bed.

The rest of the gang looked at one another in confusion.

"I thought you were the one who didn't want them to know that," Buffy huffed.

"Y-you mean...you and...and..." Willow trailed off uncomfortably.

"Hoo boy, didn't see that coming," Xander breathed.

"Of course you didn't," Buffy said. "We didn't either for a long time." She moved to Giles' side and took his hand gently. "But here it is. It snuck up."

"And it's not going anywhere anytime soon," Giles agreed with an adoring smile.

"So...let me get this straight," Dawn said. "You guys were...being couply when Giles got banged up like this?"

"Freaked?" Buffy asked.

"Only by the injuries."

"They'll heal," he assured the girl.

"With a little help from his friends," Buffy said. "Now I want everyone out of this room so I can spoil my guy until he begs for mercy."

"Ummm...isn't that how he got into this mess?" Xander grinned.

"Buffy, you have my permission to throw a pillow at him," Giles said.

"But I won't this time," she decided. "That is, if everyone leaves right now."

The gang took the hint and left the room. Buffy leaned down and kissed her lover. With only a slight twinge of pain, he returned the salute.

"Now, what was that about making me better?"

"Just lie there and I'll kiss all your boo boos," Buffy giggled. "That is, if you think it won't hurt too much."

"I'll tell you when it's too painful," he smiled.

Her lips fluttered softly over the bruise surrounding his eye, then pressed against the bridge of his nose.

"I didn't hurt that last night," he said.

"But it got smashed somewhere along the line. I plan to kiss every bit of you that's ever been hurt by anyone, anytime."

"You've got a long night ahead of you," he warned.

"Possibly several," she agreed. "Now lie still and let me take all the pain away."

He settled himself for a long night of special TLC. It certainly seemed to be working.

THE END