Title: Odd Couples 11/16
Author: Gileswench
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.

When the happy couple entered the reception hall to wild applause, they were surprised to see a buffet table groaning with food, a small swing band, and a real, live photographer on the premises.

"I thought you said we didn't have a photographer and the DJ backed out. When did you find a band to fill in?" Giles puzzled.

"Beats me. But I'm guessing I'll have someone to thank in a big way...as soon as I find out who."

"In the meantime, let's not waste our mysterious benefactor's generosity." He nodded to the dance floor. "Mrs. Giles, would you care to dance?"

"I sorta think I would, Mr. Giles," she grinned back.

As the couple moved to the dance floor and began to glide across it, Xander sat down with his wife and put an arm around her shoulders.

"Well, Joycey," he said with an exaggerated sigh, "we've gotten one out of the nest."

"And just in time for the next one to be hatched." She rubbed the spot where she'd just been kicked from the inside. "I just can't believe my baby is all grown up."

"Nobody would believe it. You're way too young. How old were you when you had Buffy? Thirteen?"

"You know, that would almost be sweet, if it wasn't so disturbing."

"That's me; sweetly disturbing guy."

*****

As the party progressed, Buffy became more and more amused at what she realized was going on around her. Over dinner, she giggled and nudged Giles' elbow.

"What is it?" he asked with an indulgent smile.

"Look over there." She nodded in the direction she meant. "What do you think of that?"

Giles frowned for a brief moment, then joined in Buffy's giggles.

"Bloody hell," he sputtered softly. "Wesley? I'd no idea. Now I know why he insisted on bringing that fellow to my stag night."

Sure enough, Wesley was clearly flirting with the handsome young black man he'd brought along. What's more, the young man was obviously flirting back.

"Ain't love grand?" Buffy grinned.

"And it's certainly in the air. Look to your left."

Buffy's jaw dropped at the sight.

"I don't believe it. Angel and Cordy? She does remember about the curse, right?"

"I can't imagine she'd have forgotten. Still, perhaps later one of us ought to have a quiet word with her."

"Or maybe we should just butt out of it," Buffy decided. "They're both smart, and they've got a team of their own. They'll work it out somehow. Where'd Will get to?"

"I'm not sure. I believe Anya was looking for her a while ago, but I don't know what's become of either of them since."

They looked at one another, eyebrows shooting up to their hairlines.

"You don't think...?" Buffy began.

"I shudder to contemplate the idea."

"And it's not like it's all that likely."

"Hardly."

"Then we don't think so?"

"Not if I can help it, no."

"Not so high on my list of things I've always wanted to see, either."

They sighed in relief and returned to their meal.

"You know," Buffy sighed happily, "I think we should hire Anya to cater for every party we have. This is great."

"She does seem to have hidden talents."

They groaned in unison as Xander started clinking his spoon against his wineglass. Soon the call was taken up all through the hall.

"Stepdad or not, I am so slaying him if he does this again."

Still, she leaned in and shared another kiss with her new husband.

*****

Eventually, the evening began to wind down. Buffy and Giles were dancing again, surrounded by other couples. When he felt a slight giggle against his shirtfront, Giles caressed his wife's back.

"What's so funny?" he murmured in her ear.

"I just figured something out. You know how worried I was that we'd be this big freak show?"

"How could I forget? You almost cancelled the wedding."

"Yeah. Sorry about that. That was seriously dumb of me. Anyway, I shouldn't have worried about it. I mean, look around us. We're probably the most normal couple in the room."

"A Slayer and her part-demon husband more than twice her age are the normal couple?"

"Rupert, we're a little funny still, but in this room there's a Slayer's mom and her husband who's younger than her daughter, and a Watcher and his part-demon wife, and an ex-Watcher and his boyfriend and their interracial relationship, and a cursed vampire and his seer, and I just spotted something deeply disturbing over there."

She nodded in the direction she meant and swung Giles around so he could see the corner where Willow and Anya were kissing passionately, thinking they were concealed behind a potted palm.

"Good lord!" Giles exclaimed under his breath. "I know we were joking about it earlier, but that really is disturbing."

"Sure is. So, I guess we really aren't that strange, in context."

"Ah well, you know I've always felt context is important."

*****

At long last, the happy couple decided it was time to make their escape and return to their home for a more private celebration. They began to say their goodbyes to their assembled friends and relatives.

"Thanks for everything, Daphne," Buffy said as she hugged her mother-in-law. "I don't know what we would have done without you."

"Oh, you'd have managed somehow. Still, I'm happy to have been able to contribute in some small way."

Buffy shook her head.

"You are so British. Just like Rupert." She turned to Ernest. "Can you convince her she's amazing?"

"I've been trying for decades," he said in mock disgust. "Still, she tries to hide her light under a bushel. Not a bloody thing I can do about it now."

"What I'm still trying to work out is where the band and the photographer came from," Giles said. "Tell the truth, were you behind it, Dad?"

"Actually," Cordelia confessed from behind him, "that would be me. I may not be the princess of Sunnydale anymore, but I still have contacts. When Willow emailed me with the sitch, I decided to do something about it. I mean, you guys were trying to do something classy for once. Anyway, I just thought it was time to sort of bury the hatchet somewhere other than in each others' backs."

"I don't get it," Buffy said. "Not that I don't appreciate what you did - it was awesome - but you never thought that much of either one of us."

"What I hated was your secret club I wasn't good enough to get into that lead to my temporary insanity known as dating Xander Harris like a big geek. Now I've got the vision whammies, I know how it is. Nobody outside the circle really ever gets it, do they? So, peace offering."

"Believe me, Cordy, after this peace abounds."

The two girls hesitated a moment, then hugged a little awkwardly. When Buffy was done, Giles took Cordelia's hand and pressed it gently.

"Thank you," he said. "This really was very kind of you. Cordelia."

"Don't thank me until you see the bills. These last-minute arrangements really cost. Oh, and nice dress, Buffy." She turned on her heel and headed back to Angel.

"What the bloody hell was that about?" Ernest huffed.

Buffy and Giles just chuckled.

"It'd take too long to explain," Giles said at last. "And I think it's time I got my wife home. It's been a long day; I'd like to get some sleep now."

"Sleep?" Buffy demanded. "You're planning to sleep? Tonight?"

"Actually, I was trying not to be hopelessly crude and vulgar."

"Too dainty by half," Ernest muttered. "Rupert, take your wife home and put her in the club. Your mother and I aren't getting any younger and we'd like a grandchild or two, if it isn't too much trouble."

"Ernest!"

"Daphne?"

"Do be quiet." She reached up and kissed her son on the cheek, then leaned over and did the same with Buffy. "I'm so very happy for you both. We'll see you tomorrow night for Christmas dinner."

With one last round of hugs, the new couple turned and moved to her mother and stepfather.

"Oh Honey," Joyce breathed shakily as she held her daughter, "I can't believe it. My little girl is all grown up."

"Yeah, but at least you've got the next one on the way preparing to cause mayhem and grey hairs for the next twenty years."

"Believe me, she can't possibly give me as many sleepless nights as you have." She smiled warmly at her daughter, though it was obvious that tears threatened. "Just remember, no matter what, you'll always be my baby."

"I love you, Mom."

The two women hugged fiercely. When Joyce stepped back, Xander took her place and pulled her close.

"Take good care of the big guy, Buff," he whispered in her ear.

"I will," she promised. "The best."

"And take good care of you, too."

"You do remember you're gonna see me tomorrow, right, Xand? I'm not moving to Mars; just Oakpark Street."

"I know. I just...I didn't know stepdads got empty nest syndrome."

"It'll be plenty full again in a couple months."

She drew back and watched Xander hug Giles. It was a sign of how happy her husband was that he allowed himself to a 'mauled publicly', as he'd once described it to her.

"Take good care of my little girl," Xander said in an intentionally pompous tone.

"It's what I do," Giles returned simply.

He turned and took Buffy's hand. With one last round of slightly teary smiles, the pair left to celebrate their wedding night alone.

*****

Giles waited nervously for Buffy to emerge from the bathroom - their bathroom, now. He wasn't sure why he still felt this way. After all, the ceremony was long over. There were no more wedding traditions to confuse or embarrass him. All that was left was to make love to his bride, and he'd done that many times in the past few months.

No, he'd been making love to his girlfriend, and then his fiancée. From now on, he would be making love with his wife.

He wasn't certain why it felt different to him, but it did.

Moving to the kitchen, he pulled a split of champagne from the refrigerator and two flute glasses from the cupboard. He'd just poured the wine when he heard the bathroom door open and Buffy stepped out.

"Well?" she asked a bit uncertainly. "What do you think?"

Giles barely remembered to check that he hit the counter when he put the bottle down. He stood speechless for a very long moment.

The nightgown and matching robe Daphne had made fitted perfectly, accentuating every curve of Buffy's body. As predicted, the beads sparkled invitingly in candlelight. Despite the multiple layers of fabric, Giles could see tantalizing glimpses of her skin underneath. She looked innocent and tempting, seductive and pure all at once.

"I think...I have never in my life seen anything as beautiful as you."

"Really? You don't think it's a little too much?" She was obviously more sure of herself now, judging by her teasing tone. "'Cause I could just change into flannel jammies. It's a cold night, after all."

"I can think of a way to warm you."

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She responded eagerly, opening to him, caressing him. Her soft whimper of desire inflamed him further. With the last shred of his self-control, he released her and picked up the wine glasses and handed one to her.

"To us," he whispered.

"You and me," she replied, clinking her glass to his, "and a lot of nights like this."

They sipped the wine, looking into one another's eyes. Buffy took his glass away and set both on the breakfast bar.

"Not that I'm not loving the bubbly," she said playfully, "but there's something I want more tonight."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"You."

She took his hand and Giles allowed her to lead him up to the loft, blowing out the candles on the way.

When they got to their destination, Buffy reached up for a kiss, her hands clutching the lapels of Giles' wine-red robe. His hands roved her body, eliciting moans and soft sighs of pleasure everywhere they touched. He propelled them toward the bed. At the last moment, he turned so it was his knees that buckled against the edge of the mattress as they arrived. He flopped back, taking her with him. They giggled and kissed and giggled some more.

A moment later, they were both on their feet and across the room.

"Good lord!"

"Holy crap!"

As one, their faces darkened in matching scowls.

"Xander!"

"I am so going to kill him."

They glared at the toad that stared balefully from the middle of their bed rbitting in an offended manner.

"Now I know what all the winking was about."

"Winking? What winking? When was there winking and how did I not know about it?"

"Your mother and Xander. They winked in the church. It must have been about this.

"Why would they do this to us? Tonight?"

"I've no idea. The mind of Xander works in mysterious ways, its wonders to perform."

"But Mom? She'd never go for this. Not tonight of all nights."

"I fear Xander has been a bad influence on her."

Buffy squeaked and jumped slightly as the toad croaked in her direction and looked at her with profound loathing.

"Do something, Rupert," she demanded. "Get rid of it."

He moved to open the window.

"I suppose he can just...leap out."

"And get squished when he hits the ground? Ick. I don't think the landlord will appreciate spending his day scraping frog off the bricks out there."

"Well I don't appreciate spending my wedding night scraping frog off the bed."

They glared at one another for a long moment, then burst into laughter.

"Okay, okay," Buffy gasped at last. "Calming down, now. Sorry I freaked."

"This is bloody inconvenient. Here I am, trying to do as my father tells me for once in my life and there's a frog in the way."

"So you were planning on baby making tonight?"

"At least some practice for the main event."

"In that case, stand aside. I'll deal with this."

He stepped out of Buffy's way with a bemused smile on his face. She approached the amphibian with a grim expression on hers. The toad looked bored. Buffy pushed her sleeves up and slowly extended her hands over the bed. When they were nearly there, she darted forward at lightning speed and caught the toad.

"Ha! Gotcha, Kermit!"

"Well done!"

She smiled in triumph and lifted the toad off the bed.

At least she tried to.

"Rupert, it's stuck," she complained.

"Stuck? What do you mean stuck?"

"I mean stuck! As in it won't budge. If Xander superglued this poor, icky, slimy thing to our bed...."

"Let me have a go, Buffy."

She released the toad as Giles came over and reached for it. He pulled and tugged, but the creature couldn't be moved.

"Honey, if a Slayer couldn't move it, what made you think you could?"

"Macho pride?" he asked sheepishly.

"And you should have pride in your macho. It's the macho-est. But this...I don't know what to do now. We can't just leave it there."

"I have no intention of leaving it there. Perhaps we could...simply...remove the quilt."

"That'd be something, anyway."

The took hold of the coverlet and pulled. Nothing happened.

"Okay," Buffy fumed, "this is getting really old. And I begin to suspect Will may have had a hand in this."

"I thought she had a frog phobia."

"She does. She also has a really twisted sense of humor that a lot of people don't notice because she looks so cute and Xander's always there to be louder and more inappropriate. Nope, this has Willow written all over it."

"If she's done a spell, there must be a way to break it, then."

"That sounds logical. So...how do we break it?"

"I really don't know. I suppose I'll have to - "

"...consult your books, I know, I know. I am so going to kill Willow in the morning."

"On Christmas day?"

"She's Jewish. The day won't matter to her."

Giles took Buffy in his arms and kissed her warmly.

"You don't mean it, you know," he said. "Now, I'd best start researching. I still don't understand why a frog, though. What has a frog to do with the situation."

Buffy slapped her forehead and groaned suddenly.

"I think I know what this is all about," she said.

"What is it?"

"A few days ago, Will was reminding me of some of the highlights of my romantic past, and she said something I thought was funny at the time."

"And that would be...what?"

"She said you have to kiss some frogs before you find your Prince Charming. I said I'd done my time in the Kingdom of the Toads, and so I was ready for you. She laughed. I laughed. I thought it was just a joke."

They both looked disgustedly at the toad. It croaked. They looked at each other.

"Buffy, you don't think she would...?"

"I think she might."

"Perhaps it's not too late to go to a hotel."

"And leave poor Kermie sitting here until we get back? I don't think so. I think it stays until I do what Will wants. Yelchh."

"You can't really think she wants you to kiss that...that thing?"

"Oh yes, she could," Buffy said grimly. "You might not want to look for this."

She approached the bed, determination written large on every feature. Despite a slight shudder, she leaned over the bed and kissed the frog squarely on the lips. She stood, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and watched. A golden mist swirled around the frog. It got bigger and bigger as Buffy and Giles watched. Suddenly, the mist disappeared, and in place of the frog was a handsome young man dressed as a Medieval prince out of a fairy tale.

"You must be Buffy," he said cheerfully.

"Um...yeah. Who are you?"

"Willow hired me to make tonight special."

Buffy and Giles exchanged a worried look.

"Special how?" the groom demanded.

"Like this!"

The man waved his hand and rock music began to play. Before the bridal couple could fully comprehend what was going on, the prince had begun doing a striptease. Buffy marched out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Giles could take care of Willow's 'present'. She was on a quest for mouthwash.

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