Title: Yule Traditions, Past and Future 6/11
Author: Gileswench
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.

It was quite some time before anyone came to find Buffy. Part of her was glad of the solitude to try to wrap her head around the events of the past twenty-four hours. Another part sulked that Giles obviously hadn't cared enough to follow. She mentally scolded the part that felt that way. He'd had an awful lot dumped in his lap in a very short time. And what had her response been? She'd gone on the attack and run away.

"Real mature," she grumbled at herself. "Yeah, and you wonder why he isn't here. My people skills suck."

A sound from the doorway brought her to her feet in an instant. When she saw who it was, she turned her back.

"So. You're back, just like that, huh?"

"Just like what?" Olivia asked. "Buffy, believe it or not, I'm not the enemy. I didn't know how it was between you and Rupert. In fact, I didn't even know you were here."

"In other words, you weren't counting on being the other woman, is that it?" She turned to face her rival. "And what took you so long to tell him about this, anyway?"

The older woman sighed slightly and sat on a hay bale.

"You wouldn't understand," she said at last.

"Try me."

"It was...I didn't plan any of this. Ripper and I were having a bit of a fling...filling in the blanks, as it were. It would have been so damn easy to let myself fall in love, but I knew he wouldn't accept that. And I'd just been through a beastly breakup. I didn't want a commitment any more than he did."

"So what happened?"

"We had a lovely affair for several months. No strings, no ties, no promises. But lots of fantastic sex. That was really all either of us wanted at the time. At least, that was what I wanted and thought he wanted. Sometimes, it's hard to tell what's going on inside his head."

"Tell me about it," Buffy snorted, not unsympathetically. "He's not really big on the share mode. But once you learn to read his eyes, it's really all there for anyone to see."

"Is it? Yes, I imagine you're right." Olivia smiled ruefully. "Anyway, when I found all his talk about monsters and magic all these years had been true, it terrified me. So I left and didn't come back. And when I found I was up the spout, I was too frightened to go back."

"Why? Why frightened?"

"At first it was because I was thinking of getting rid of the baby. I had the feeling he'd try to talk me out of it. Then, I realized what a gift it was. If I didn't have that baby, I probably wouldn't get another chance."

"So why not spread the joyous news then? Why wait all this time?"

"I didn't want Rupert to talk me into marriage any more than I wanted him to talk me out of an abortion. I couldn't go back there, Buffy. I couldn't raise my son among demons and vampires. It was too dangerous to go back. I don't imagine you know what it is to have someone you'd protect with your own life, but I do."

"Actually," Buffy said ruefully, "I know more about that than you think. But Giles hasn't lived in Sunnydale for a long time. What makes it safe now?"

"It probably isn't," she admitted. "But Dominic is old enough now that he sees his friends have fathers, and he wants one, too. I would have told Rupert a long time ago..."

"But you didn't."

"I thought he was dead. I heard rumors that some horrible...thing had killed him at last. There seemed no point in looking for a dead man. I only came now because I learned Rupert was alive about a month ago. It's taken me to now to find where he is and arrange to come down."

"And you expected to pick up where you left off, didn't you?"

"I wanted him to know his son."

"And get back with you." Buffy's eyes insisted on filling with tears. "Well, you can't have him."

"What on earth made you think I want him?"

"Y-you don't?" She looked puzzled. "What about all those wedding plans when you walked in the door?"

"Mrs. Arbuthnot is a delightful lady, but she's terrible for making assumptions. She saw that I had Rupert's child, and assumed I wanted Rupert, as well. I want him in my son's life, but I'm not interested in playing at happy families. In other words, Buffy, you're welcome to him with my blessing."

"Do you really mean that?"

"If you have the stomach for the sort of life he leads, yes. And if you can accept the fact that my son is his as well. Rupert isn't the sort to turn his back on his own child. He's too bloody noble."

"Tell me about it," Buffy said with a wry smile. "I love it about him, but it's been known to drive me crazy." She sat on a hay bale opposite Olivia. "I've been an idiot, haven't I?"

"Yes, you have, rather. But then, you weren't to know, were you?"

"I should have known. I should have realized Giles wasn't leaving me. I just...people go away, sometimes, and a lot of the people who left me did it for really noble reasons."

"And Rupert is given to sacrificing himself at the drop of a hat."

"I was scared," she admitted.

"You're not the only one. I was actually relieved when Rupert said the last thing in the world he wanted was to marry me."

"The last thing? He said that?"

"Not in quite those words, but precisely that sentiment."

"And...you're sure you're okay with that?" Buffy asked hesitantly.

"I never wanted to marry anyone, let alone someone as secretive and cross-grained as Rupert." She smiled at Buffy. "You're bloody well welcome to the old bastard. Don't get me wrong," she hastened to add, "I adore him. In fact, I'm glad he's Dominic's father. I just don't want to spend my life with him. We make good friends, very comfortable occasional lovers, and not much else. And since it's clear that being lovers is now utterly out of the question, I suppose I'll have to make do with friends."

Her smile relieved Buffy. They sat quietly for a moment.

"So, what happens now?" Buffy asked at last. "Do you move in with us, or do we get Dominic on weekends, or what?"

"Lord, I don't know," Olivia admitted with a breathless laugh. "I was concentrating so much on finding Rupert and preparing myself in case he couldn't or wouldn't accept Dominic as his...obviously, you'll have some say in this, too."

"How much?" She shook her head. "Nah, this is up to Giles. His kid, his decision."

"You can make that decision a good deal more difficult than it need be."

"Only if he wants to ditch. That wouldn't be right. Every kid deserves to have both their parents involved in their lives." Buffy chanced a tight smile at her erstwhile rival. "And in this case, Dominic will have a...well...me, too."

"God, it never occurred to me...Buffy, are you sure you're up for this? I wasn't expecting Rupert to have a lady friend, let alone such a young one. A child is a huge responsibility, even if you're only looking after him now and again."

"And goodness knows responsibility is something I wouldn't know about, right? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Are you so determined to take everything I say as an attack?" Olivia asked with only a hint of rancor. "Lord! I begin to think you and Rupert deserve one another. I'm saying caring for a child is a tremendous undertaking. You can't know how difficult raising a child is until you try to do it yourself."

"Then I'm a step ahead," Buffy said. "I had to take care of my sister when my mom died. My dad didn't care enough to even check that we were okay." She smiled ruefully at her companion. "Dawn's studying English at Oxford now. I guess she could have turned out worse. So...any more impressed with my credentials now?"

"Yes, I suppose so. Look, Buffy, I didn't mean to imply that you weren't capable."

"Then what did you mean?"

"Simply what I said. Children can be...difficult at times. I love my son very much, and I want to make certain he's going to be in good hands when I leave him with his father. If I'm a little nervous, it's only because Dominic and I haven't been apart since he was born for more than a few hours." Her face turned bleak. "Knowing the sort of life Rupert leads...part of me wishes I'd never come here."

"Believe it or not...I'm...I'm glad you did." At Olivia's startled look, Buffy continued. "Not that I'm loving the whole instant family, just add water thing. And I'm not exactly thrilled about sharing my Christmas with my boyfriend's old girlfriend. But Giles...Rupert...needed to know about his kid. Dominic deserves to know what a great guy his dad is, too. And I guess I need to face up to the fact that I'm with yet another guy with a serious past."

"You didn't think he was a virgin, did you?"

"No. I knew better than that. I just never thought about the fact that he could have a kid out there. For all I know, he's got a dozen more we don't know about."

"Well that's a comforting thought, isn't it?"

The two women laughed together.

"So...think we'll ever be friends?" Buffy asked at last.

"I hope so," Olivia returned. "It would certainly make things easier."

"Yeah." Buffy stood and wandered over to the corner where the barn cat lay on her side, five tiny balls of fluff suckling desperately at her teats. "She makes it look easy, doesn't she? Motherhood."

"I suppose it is for her. It is, after all, completely natural."

"I'm not. All that natural."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Before you start leaving your kid with me, you should probably know I'm the reason Giles has this really freaky life. I'm the Slayer - a Slayer. It's my job to kill all the scary stuff, and he trains me to do it. I'm not very safe, but I'll do everything in my power to protect Dominic. I...I just thought you should know."

"So that's why...I wondered why you looked so devastated the first time you came to Rupert's apartment and found me there. I actually wondered at first if I was the only one he was having an affair with. And after you left, I couldn't tempt him back upstairs. He sent me away, and I don't mind telling you, I was rather put out. It took him quite a lot of groveling to convince me to come back to California. And when I got there, you and those bloody demons were there. One or the other, I might have been able to stand, but the combination was entirely too much."

"So...I'm why you guys broke up?"

"Not specifically, but you were a contributing factor. That and the fact that he finally confessed he wasn't one of the original members of Pink Floyd," Olivia said with some humor. "He really can be the most appalling liar."

"Yeah. He can sure be a lot of things." They stood in awkward silence looking at the cat for some time. "I guess it's time for me to go back, isn't it? And let him know I'm staying."

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